To feel sad I dont have husband

Close friendships can be just as rewarding as romanic ones. I laugh SO much when I am with my friends (and bros/sisters), they are a constant source of intellectual and social satisfaction - and there's no pressure, no expectations there like there is in a marriage.

Think about all the married people who are desperately unhappy - half of marriages end in divorce, still further more are 'stuck' in their unhappy marriage. Some have lost most or all of their financial stability. Marriages that truly work seem rather rare. I've decided it's just mot for me.

I'm sorry that you feel this way, you are not unreasonable, but I'm afraid this is one of those "count your blesdings" situations.

Sounds like you're in a fortunate position of being able to have a good life without a partner. Many women need to have a partner in order to buy a house. And many partners are pretty dire.

However, there's no point in trying to change how you feel about it. You want a partner, so look for one. Treat it like looking for a job at a time of mass unemployment. Difficult but not impossible.

I used to think it would be nice to have a husband and have that partnership, when I was around your age (I’m 46). But now, I couldn’t think of anything worse. None of my friends are happy with their partners, some are awful men, some are just meh men. I’m sure there are happy women with good partners, but you only have to read on here or have honest conversations with women to see that it’s really not all it’s cracked up to be. We’ve been conditioned to think that getting married and having children is the be all and end all, it’s not. I know that doesn’t help you, but I do hope you find happiness.

Spend more time on mumsnet reading about the real princes the women on here marry through pure desperation you will soon be so happy to be single

But you say you think it's natural to feel like this. You clearly want a relationship. You don't need one, obviously -- no one does. But you say the sadness 'never goes away' and that your happiest moments are spoiled by wishing you had a partner. So, why not see if putting some effort into finding a relationship helps with that, rather than wishing you didn't feel like that?

I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. Just to offer some thoughts. I think that like most things in life there are benefits and downsides to being married just as there are to being unmarried or having kids/not having kids etc. There is no one option that will be entirely fulfilling and satisfactory in every respect. I can guarantee there will be married women looking at your life and thinking what they’d give for that. I don’t mean you’re being unreasonable to feel the way you do. But that sometimes we can look at people and feel we are missing out on something and they are looking back at us and our lives feeling the exact same thing. You have maybe constructed a version of life in your mind of what could’ve been but that version isn’t real. I genuinely think fulfilment comes from within. You said the sadness is consuming and I wonder if it might be worth having therapy of some kind to work things through as I think the answer to feeling better is reframing things in your mind. Best wishes.

Have mine. I’ll happily post him to you.

Absolutely this.
I was single for a LONG time before I met my DH. But if I hadn't, I'd have had a perfectly enjoyable life doing the things I wanted to do, on my own terms.

I have a single friend who hasn't met "the one" but was keen to be a mother, she would be a similar age to OP. She opted for a donor egg/sperm and now has a beautiful baby who she adores.

Your life should be fulfilling as a single person - adding a partner or spouse is, as @Baguetteandcheese says, a bonus. If things feel empty, then you're not necessarily doing the right things.

I used to feel I needed a man to be fulfilled so I do get it. Now though I think I’m better off single and had listened to all the women who told me to make myself happy and if a man fits in great but don’t seek a man to make you happy because they will just suck you dry.

Okay, I have all that you list you are yearning for. I have been married for almost 20 years since I was 22. I have a son, a dog, multiple holidays, a home I own outright, nice car. Do you want to know how that feels for me and how it has for, oh I don’t know, 5/6 years? It feels like a plastic bag is held loose around my head and I can only struggle for breath. Trapped. Missing out.

I will never experience the freedom of youth like you have, the autonomy to do whatever I like, whenever I choose. Everything u do has to be run past someone else, they get a say in everything I do.

Of course, there have been times where it has been nice to ‘lean on’ someone, to experience life’s downs with and sometimes life’s ‘ups’, but you now are free to do whatever it is you like. There will come a time where you will meet someone, you very well might get married but you will have had the best of both worlds and god I envy you that.

While it's very difficult indeed to change how you feel about wanting a partner, it's not so difficult to actively try dating. Plenty of people do it; some have a horrible experience, but conversely most of the younger and older couples I've met who got together in recent years first met via dating apps online and are happy.

Im 37 and single and tbh I don't feel how you do. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a partner, but then my friends moan about what their partners get up to and I think I'm very lucky I can do whatever I want!
In my case I know the reason I don't have a partner is mostly me though, I hardly fancy anyone, I go on tonnes of first dates but hardly ever want to see them again 🙈
I think when you don't have something you want you can forget the shit bits. My ex was lovely, we split up as we wanted different futures, but I am so so glad I don't have to make time and make an effort for someone else's friends and family as I found that very draining. I don't have to share my bed with a snoring man or clean a toilet someone else has made dirty!

Everyone is different. You want a husband and kids so I’d say you’ll feel unfulfilled without them. It’s unfortunate and I’m sure you’re not alone.

I found a husband and had kids and honestly I thought he was great. Until he cheated ten years in. So even if you do find someone, they can shit on you from a great height anyway. He turned out to be a waste of my time.

YANBU to feel sad - but you only need to spend 5 minutes on MN to realise some men really arent worth marrying anyway.

But are you dating? You say you've put a lot of effort into building an enjoyable life, which is great, but how much of that effort have you put into looking for a partner? Have you had relationships in the past?

Single

Was engaged

Two fabulous kids

Could not be happier

A husband is not everything!!!!!

Have you tried manifesting what you want?

I do think there is something about giving off the right vibes, so to speak. It’s something I’ve started looking into.

How does your life look generally? Because a partner should be a bonus to the life you have already, not a quick fix.

I think some people are happy with their own company and others are not. So it's not an "all women" scenario here.

You want a relationship and kids so that's perfectly natural way to feel when its what you want.

I'd echo what others say and ask are you actively dating?

I will say though life doesn't always turn out the way we planned and I think it's really important that we somewhat plan to be ok with that if it doesn't pan out. Easier said than done though

You may never have one. You very well may do in future but it's not a guarantee.

You need to focus on creating the best life possible for yourself and by living an enjoyable, eventful life, you will feel better and are also more likely to meet someone.

If you meet someone, it's a bonus.

If you don't, you still be fulfulled if you fill your life with everything else that makes you happy.