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Dads using female communal changing room

712 replies

Strawberrryfields · 23/01/2026 15:50

Not sure how I feel about this so looking for opinions and whether I should do anything.

A couple of times recently I’ve been changing my child after swimming and a dad has come in to change his child in the communal female changing room. It’s after lessons so only children changing. There are communal female, communal male and a number of individual cubicles. It gets very busy at peak times so at times you may need to wait for an individual cubicle.

It feels weird to me a grown man being in there and my instinct is that he should use the private cubicles, though he is clearly there with his child helping them get ready. I also understand him not wanting to take his child into the men’s communal changing rooms with random men in there but to me, he is a random man.

Should I say something? Would you? Chances are it’s just a normal dad changing his kid but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it but not sure if IABU?

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RedToothBrush · 27/01/2026 16:37

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 16:36

Your eloquence is fascinating - but it's not really an argument, is it? Why don't you simply admit that you don't really care about facts or biology if it doesn't support your opinion?

I don't have to argue with you.

You've demonstrated enough all by yourself.

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 16:36

RedToothBrush · 27/01/2026 16:35

It doesn't really matter what I am - it's more a question of fact, isn't it?

In a word.

No.

Your eloquence is fascinating - but it's not really an argument, is it? Why don't you simply admit that you don't really care about facts or biology if it doesn't support your opinion?

RedToothBrush · 27/01/2026 16:35

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 16:33

Then please tell me: how do you identify someone as male (or female for that matter)? Is the presence of a Y-chromosome enough? The presence of SRY?
What do you do with someone who has both, Wolffian and Mullerian ducts? What about those who fall within ICD-10 Q56?

It doesn't really matter what I am - it's more a question of fact, isn't it?

It doesn't really matter what I am - it's more a question of fact, isn't it?

In a word.

No.

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 16:34

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 16:28

You got it:

Taztoy · 25/01/2026 14:55
If someone isn’t female, what are they?
Alex122022 · 25/01/2026 14:48
" I sometimes think boys are considered second class citizens on MN."
I think everyone who is not female.

that’s not a screenshot.

waiting for the screenshot where I called intersex people inhuman.

(clue. I didn’t)

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 16:33

Namelessnelly · 27/01/2026 16:26

All humans are male or female. No VSD affects both sexes. I thought you were a biologist? Is that like a trans biologist? Do you just identify as one?

Then please tell me: how do you identify someone as male (or female for that matter)? Is the presence of a Y-chromosome enough? The presence of SRY?
What do you do with someone who has both, Wolffian and Mullerian ducts? What about those who fall within ICD-10 Q56?

It doesn't really matter what I am - it's more a question of fact, isn't it?

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 16:28

spannasaurus · 27/01/2026 16:20

I don't think we're going to get it

You got it:

Taztoy · 25/01/2026 14:55
If someone isn’t female, what are they?
Alex122022 · 25/01/2026 14:48
" I sometimes think boys are considered second class citizens on MN."
I think everyone who is not female.

Namelessnelly · 27/01/2026 16:26

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 15:57

Why do you deviate? @Taztoy claimed all people who are not female are male - thereby claiming that no other possibility exists. I disagree - even if a single person exists who does not meet the criteria, the statement is wrong.

There are a number of disorders that would make it difficult to unequivocally assign a sex - so the question really is: why do you force them into a binary category?

All humans are male or female. No VSD affects both sexes. I thought you were a biologist? Is that like a trans biologist? Do you just identify as one?

spannasaurus · 27/01/2026 16:20

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 15:00

Still waiting for that screenshot.

I don't think we're going to get it

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 16:01

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 15:00

Still waiting for that screenshot.

Please refer to your reply on this thread:

Taztoy · 25/01/2026 14:55
If someone isn’t female, what are they?
Alex122022 · 25/01/2026 14:48
" I sometimes think boys are considered second class citizens on MN."
I think everyone who is not female.

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 15:57

RedToothBrush · 27/01/2026 14:09

How do you know you have a daughter?

I'm guessing that you spend a long time considering the possibilities, thought about gametes, anatomy and genes before coming to this conclusion.

Or not. Because she's your imaginary daughter.

Why do you deviate? @Taztoy claimed all people who are not female are male - thereby claiming that no other possibility exists. I disagree - even if a single person exists who does not meet the criteria, the statement is wrong.

There are a number of disorders that would make it difficult to unequivocally assign a sex - so the question really is: why do you force them into a binary category?

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 27/01/2026 15:34

Yet again, a bloke’s problem falls on women to sort out. He should be in the men’s where he belongs looking for a quiet corner so he can screen her with a towel or looking for a unisex toilet to take her in etc. Worst way, dry robe for the car journey home. The situation is NOT a free pass for a grown man to be entering the women’s changing room and encroaching on all of their privacy. JFC I am so sick of this.

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 15:00

Still waiting for that screenshot.

RedToothBrush · 27/01/2026 14:58

Given he's also apparently taught 'developmental biology some time ago' and thinks he's smarter than Robert Winston, Id be questioning who ever taught him and whatever he's taught never mind what his parents taught him.

Namelessnelly · 27/01/2026 14:54

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 14:02

In that case, you need a clear definition of what is male and what is female. So please tell me what requirements you would use? Genes? Are not always expressed. Anatomy? Gametes? There are always exceptions.

I’d ask your parents. I mean, I’m not saying they’ve failed you if you can’t tell the difference between a male and a female but…. Have you considered remedial classes? Or I hear there’s some really good basic biology classes online. Maybe give those a go?

RedToothBrush · 27/01/2026 14:09

How do you know you have a daughter?

I'm guessing that you spend a long time considering the possibilities, thought about gametes, anatomy and genes before coming to this conclusion.

Or not. Because she's your imaginary daughter.

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 14:02

Namelessnelly · 27/01/2026 09:55

but @taztoy is right. Any human on earth who isn't female is male. There are only two sexes. You then mentioned that “intersex” people exist. Are you claiming people with a VSD are not male or female? Are you saying they are some third sex? Really? Youre even more of a wazzock than it appears

In that case, you need a clear definition of what is male and what is female. So please tell me what requirements you would use? Genes? Are not always expressed. Anatomy? Gametes? There are always exceptions.

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 13:28

lou123456789 · 27/01/2026 13:25

I’m not saying I agree with it, I would find it strange too. I’m just trying to help see the reason he is taking his child in there.

He’s not allowed. I’m entitled to a single sex space. He finds somewhere else.

lou123456789 · 27/01/2026 13:25

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 09:15

Then he takes his daughter into family changing.

Because he doesn’t get to override my lack of consent.

the word is no.

I’m not saying I agree with it, I would find it strange too. I’m just trying to help see the reason he is taking his child in there.

Namelessnelly · 27/01/2026 09:56

lou123456789 · 27/01/2026 08:37

are they helping a girl change or a boy? If a girl, maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable changing his daughter in a room full of men and boys? The same way you feel uncomfortable?

But what about the girls having to change in front of a man, or do their feelings not count?

Namelessnelly · 27/01/2026 09:55

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 09:42

@Namelessnelly said: "So if every human im earth is either make or female what sex are “intersex”people? You’ve basically called them inhuman!!"

@Taztoy has claimed that everyone who is not female is male.

So clearly, it was really you to whom @Namelessnelly was referring, because I never made this claim.

but @taztoy is right. Any human on earth who isn't female is male. There are only two sexes. You then mentioned that “intersex” people exist. Are you claiming people with a VSD are not male or female? Are you saying they are some third sex? Really? Youre even more of a wazzock than it appears

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 09:46

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 09:42

@Namelessnelly said: "So if every human im earth is either make or female what sex are “intersex”people? You’ve basically called them inhuman!!"

@Taztoy has claimed that everyone who is not female is male.

So clearly, it was really you to whom @Namelessnelly was referring, because I never made this claim.

Please supply the screenshot for the claim that I called ANYONE inhuman.

thank you.

Alex122022 · 27/01/2026 09:42

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 09:17

Where did I call anyone inhuman?

please provide the screenshot for that statement you just made.

thanks.

@Namelessnelly said: "So if every human im earth is either make or female what sex are “intersex”people? You’ve basically called them inhuman!!"

@Taztoy has claimed that everyone who is not female is male.

So clearly, it was really you to whom @Namelessnelly was referring, because I never made this claim.

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Where did I call anyone inhuman?

please provide the screenshot for that statement you just made.

thanks.

Taztoy · 27/01/2026 09:15

lou123456789 · 27/01/2026 08:37

are they helping a girl change or a boy? If a girl, maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable changing his daughter in a room full of men and boys? The same way you feel uncomfortable?

Then he takes his daughter into family changing.

Because he doesn’t get to override my lack of consent.

the word is no.

HighStreetOtter · 27/01/2026 08:48

lou123456789 · 27/01/2026 08:37

are they helping a girl change or a boy? If a girl, maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable changing his daughter in a room full of men and boys? The same way you feel uncomfortable?

So why does he get to make multiple females uncomfortable? Do the feelings of one man really take priority over multiple women and girls.

he has a choice. He either goes in the men’s or doesn’t go at all. Either his dd doesn’t swim or changes on her own. But by walking into a room of females he’s taking away their choice to not be naked in front of a stranger

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