Page 28 | Dads using female communal changing room

Original poster

Strawberrryfields · 23/01/2026 16:19

DannyDeever · 23/01/2026 16:11

Clearly he shouldn't be in there but it feels more like a mistake to me. He's not familiar with the pool and his daughter has just guided him in there and he's blindly followed her?

Apart from the obvious exceptions men do not routinely intentionally stroll into women's changing rooms.

EDIT: I missed the "couple of times" so not a mistake. I feel there's some missing information here.

Edited

Show quote history

It was two different men. I’d not seen either of them before so maybe they could be new and not familiar with the pool but feels like common sense to me. Perhaps not though with two different men doing the same thing.

OP posts:

SpikeGilesSandwich · 23/01/2026 16:18

That’s weird. My dad used to take me into the men’s, can’t say it did me any harm.

I’m very glad our changing rooms are unisex and all cubicles at our local pool though, DS is getting a bit old to be in the ladies with me but he’s autistic so still needs assistance and is extra vulnerable.

InterestedDad37 · 23/01/2026 16:17

When my kids were little (2 girls, 1 boy) and we went swimming, I took them to the gents changing rooms (unless their mum was there, but that didn't often happen though). It wouldn't have occurred to me to do anything but that. How strange that some blokes think it's appropriate. Of course it isn't!

Bearbookagainandagain · 23/01/2026 16:17

DannyDeever · 23/01/2026 16:11

Clearly he shouldn't be in there but it feels more like a mistake to me. He's not familiar with the pool and his daughter has just guided him in there and he's blindly followed her?

Apart from the obvious exceptions men do not routinely intentionally stroll into women's changing rooms.

EDIT: I missed the "couple of times" so not a mistake. I feel there's some missing information here.

Edited

Show quote history

It's also an impossible choice for any parent of any gender.
Do you make you child wait 20 min for cubicle whilst wet and cold? Take your girl into the men changing room? Take your boy into the women changing room?

I'm glad our local pools either have cubicles only or a mixed changing room. Keeps the headache and hysteria away.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 23/01/2026 16:17

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2026 16:10

So if two dads have daughters, they can't both use the men's changing rooms?

Show quote history

Huh?

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 23/01/2026 16:17

If the child is under 8 they should attend the male changing room with him. 8 and above they should be in a family room or the dad should wait outside while she changes.

my DD8 is dyspraxic so I have to do all swimming lessons as changing in and out of swimmers isn’t a quick, easy things for her

Original poster

Strawberrryfields · 23/01/2026 16:16

DameOfThrones · 23/01/2026 16:10

That's one time but what about the other times?

Show quote history

The first time was a different man and I didn’t see he was there until we were leaving as had my back to the door.
I’ve been going there for years and it’s never happened before so did feel off but just chalked it up to a random one off. But now it’s happened again with someone different I’m concerned if this just becomes the norm. Again, other mums in there too and not sure if anyone said anything either time. I regret not saying something the first time now.

OP posts:

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 23/01/2026 16:15

ohtowinthelottery · 23/01/2026 16:08

Back in the days when I used to take DS swimming it was very clearly signposted that noone over the age of 8 could be in the changing rooms of the opposite sex. Once DS was 8 he used the men's changing room by himself.

This.

2 DD’s here, and when me and partner used to take them to swim club we each took one child in to the change rooms to get ready, right up until they both turned 8, and then they were both in the ladies and dad was surplus to requirements.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2026 16:13

It is possible if the only people changing are kids like op said, then he's assumed "girls go in girls" as there's no risk of him seeing any baked adult women. It may not have occurred to him that people will assume he's there just to look at their kids. In which case a polite "oh hi, you're actually meant to take the kdis according to the groups sex" #+should sort it

Bearbookagainandagain · 23/01/2026 16:12

Balloonhearts · 23/01/2026 15:59

A grown man should not be in a room with unrelated naked young girls. Did no one ask him what the fuck he was doing in there while their children were changing?

I doubt he had any concerns for any other children changing but his own obviously.
No, he shouldn't have been there, but no need to be paranoid either.

DannyDeever · 23/01/2026 16:11

Strawberrryfields · 23/01/2026 15:50

Not sure how I feel about this so looking for opinions and whether I should do anything.

A couple of times recently I’ve been changing my child after swimming and a dad has come in to change his child in the communal female changing room. It’s after lessons so only children changing. There are communal female, communal male and a number of individual cubicles. It gets very busy at peak times so at times you may need to wait for an individual cubicle.

It feels weird to me a grown man being in there and my instinct is that he should use the private cubicles, though he is clearly there with his child helping them get ready. I also understand him not wanting to take his child into the men’s communal changing rooms with random men in there but to me, he is a random man.

Should I say something? Would you? Chances are it’s just a normal dad changing his kid but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it but not sure if IABU?

Clearly he shouldn't be in there but it feels more like a mistake to me. He's not familiar with the pool and his daughter has just guided him in there and he's blindly followed her?

Apart from the obvious exceptions men do not routinely intentionally stroll into women's changing rooms.

EDIT: I missed the "couple of times" so not a mistake. I feel there's some missing information here.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/01/2026 16:11

A parent and child should go into the correct sex changing room for the adult not the child.

TwistedWonder · 23/01/2026 16:11

Of course he should be in there. If he is with a daughter young enough to need accompanying then he takes her with him into the male changing rooms. Grown men should NEVER be in female changing rooms

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2026 16:10

Balloonhearts · 23/01/2026 15:59

A grown man should not be in a room with unrelated naked young girls. Did no one ask him what the fuck he was doing in there while their children were changing?

So if two dads have daughters, they can't both use the men's changing rooms?

DameOfThrones · 23/01/2026 16:10

Strawberrryfields · 23/01/2026 16:03

No one did while I was there but we left pretty quickly anyway as were just putting coats and shoes on at that stage. No idea if anyone said anything after we left or maybe a bit taken aback like me or maybe some didn’t question it?

Show quote history

That's one time but what about the other times?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 23/01/2026 16:09

no Yanbu he should use the men’s

Original poster

Strawberrryfields · 23/01/2026 16:09

FinallyMovingHouse · 23/01/2026 16:02

Report it. I had to do the same for a grandad who was talking his young gdaughter (6 ish) into the womens' changing room. I had already told him that he could not be in there but he clearly could not understand why, if it was his Gdd who was changing, they should be in the mens' changing. He had ignored his own presence in a women's changing room. The staff eventually got through to him.

Thanks I’m glad to hear that they took action.

OP posts:

ohtowinthelottery · 23/01/2026 16:08

Back in the days when I used to take DS swimming it was very clearly signposted that noone over the age of 8 could be in the changing rooms of the opposite sex. Once DS was 8 he used the men's changing room by himself.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2026 16:08

If its only children changing and no one else is allowed to swim, then I don't see why he can't use the men's as there will he no naked men. Is he trying to protect her from naked little boys?

I wouldn't really have a problem as either way he's around little kids undressing but I think if he's unhappy using the men, he should wait for a cubicle.

Inertia · 23/01/2026 16:07

He absolutely should not be in the female changing room. He can wait for a cubicle to become available. If he doesn’t want to wait , there are plenty of dry robe options to wrap the child up in and get showered and changed at home.

Fiftyandme · 23/01/2026 16:07

He needs to get the fuck out of the female changing rooms

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 23/01/2026 16:06

YANBU. He shouldn't be there under any circumstances so don't let the club fob you off.

Lopteluga · 23/01/2026 16:05

He shouldn’t be in there. He should use a cubical in the male changing room.

Our local pool has a family changing room with cubical that can be used by men and women.

Disasterclass · 23/01/2026 16:04

Definitely report and/ or say something. DP always took DD into the men’s when she was little. He was there with her, so no risk to her in there. Whereas a man in the female changing room is unacceptable. If nothing else, what message does it send to all the kids in there if everyone is behaving like it’s ok?

Original poster

Strawberrryfields · 23/01/2026 16:03

Balloonhearts · 23/01/2026 15:59

A grown man should not be in a room with unrelated naked young girls. Did no one ask him what the fuck he was doing in there while their children were changing?

No one did while I was there but we left pretty quickly anyway as were just putting coats and shoes on at that stage. No idea if anyone said anything after we left or maybe a bit taken aback like me or maybe some didn’t question it?

OP posts: