Dads using female communal changing room

it really is very simple: no men in the ladies changing.

What do women do with little boys?

Can someone explain to me why a man in a women’s changing room when children only are changing is such a threat? If these men are such a potential risk to your girls, they would be in the same changing space as your girls anyway if their dad took them swimming. Is it about teaching girls the importance of female only spaces? I’m genuinely interested to learn given that when I posted a thread on this exact topic everyone said it was fine to take my son in the men’s (which I now do). Would you prefer I take my son in the women’s and your girls see my son undressed? Thanks in advance.

It makes a massive difference actually: because of the different sexes. Female children have as much right to sex-based protections as female adults.

Not neccessarily.

My DS aged 16 attends a swimming class each weekend for children with disabilities. The parents are required to be in the pool with the children. They have 3 of these sessions each Saturday and another 3 on Sunday. So there are up to 30 parents each session of either sec changing as well.

In addition they have a weekend session each day called a 'family fun session'. They have up to 40 children with at least one parent in the pool as a requirement.

So it is perfectly feasible that other pools are similar and adults are changing as well.

Surely he should be using a cubicle in the male changing room.

Are those same posters on this thread now saying the opposite?

This

Are you changing as well as your child? Is he changing as well as his child? If you are saying a man is changing in a room where women are also changing complain. Is there a reason he doesn't use the men's communal area, such as it's foul or their are individual men changing in there?

On MN?!

Really?

No.

Adult males in the mens. They can take their young daughters in with them. After 8 the girls should either change by themselves or be accompanied by dad in a unisex disabled changing room because 8 year old girls should be able to manage this by themselves unless they have a disability.

It is inappropriate for adults to be in the wrong sex changing rooms in any circumstances.

The level of entitlement that these men have is astounding. Yes, report it every single time. They should not be in there under any circumstances.

ive had this a few times, including my children’s lessons. No adults were swimming so a dad thought the right thing to do was to accompany his young daughter into the girls side. Once he’d entered, a group of mums had to form a wall to prevent him from moving in further as he could not get it into his head that his daughter (aged about 6) should change in the boys’ side if he was with her. Some mums did offer to keep an eye on her if he left her in there, as she looked more than capable of getting changed by herself, in a closed environment where the only people present were there for the lessons. The dad had no regard for the older girls who were also changing there - lessons don’t stop aged 9, we had the squad getting changed there too, up to age 17.
Ive also seen this in a local pool, but I remember this dad particularly, as others have beaten a hasty retreat when it was explained to them, this one was just so entitled, I just couldn’t get my head around his belief that it was ok for him to see naked girls but not ok for his daughter to see naked boys.
When discussing this with DS (who was old enough to change in the boys section alone) I was shocked to hear that he’d had a mum in there with the same reasoning. He was about 14, and a couple of boys had asked her to leave but she wouldn’t. I’d have raised it with staff if I’d known, but DS didn’t mention it to me at the time as he was almost dressed when she came in.
People are so weird. Definitely report and ask for clearer signage.

What?

The pp said "a grown man should not be I na room with unrelated naked girls" which is fine assuming only one dad brings a daughter. But what if there's several Dad's using the male changing room with their kids? Is the pp really saying that women can take their sons and daughters into the open women's changing room but men must use a cubicle?

The adult, of either sex, is the potential threat to the non-related children.

Agreed, but this is no different whether the kids get changed in the male room or the female one.

He shouldn’t be in the men’s either. That’s not on.

Also to add - I feel much more comfortable having my son in the male changing room now, without worrying about exposing girls to a naked boy as was happening before. My son is 5 for reference. Only children are changing in our situation (the same as for op if I’m reading it correctly).

I don't think people have fully twigged that the only people getting changed are the kids. If we separate by parental sex:

Kids whose mum take them all get changed together irrespective of where the kids are male or female. Lots of clothed women, and kids getting changed.

Kids whose dad takes them all get changed together irrespective of whether the kids are men or female. Lots of clothed men and kids getting changed.

In this instance, it really makes no difference.

If a child is young enough to need an adult to help them change after swimming, then it’s the sex of the adult that matters.

The adult, of either sex, is the potential threat to the non-related children.

So an adult woman with a young son - women’s changing or cubicles. Adult man with young daughter, men’s changing or individual cubicle.

The changing room doors in our swimming pool are very clear.

Changing rooms are for women and girls only and accompanied boys under the age of 8.

If the daughter was older than 7 she should go into the women's herself - she will change herself after PE at school so this shouldn't be an issue.

Under that age or if incapable of changing herself there is usually family changing, single cublicles or as a last resort the men's changing room.

When I had opposite issue with children of various ages/ sexes they were wrapped in towels and changed at home.

We've had this confusion at swimming too - parents (both mums and dads) were taking their children into the changing room of the gender of their children rather than into the changing room of their own gender. The management sent out an email and it stopped.

I'm very against men in women's changing rooms, but I think this is a bit different. If all of the users of the pool are children, so the only ones getting undressed are children, then the whole thing becomes a bit academic.

No one is seeing naked men, and unless there's literally one dad and everyone else mums, then the dads are going to see each other's children naked, irrespective of their sex.

So I can see why given the only ones getting naked are the kids, he may have thought it's based on their sex, not his, in this instance.

Hi op ,

If I’m not there for swimming my husband waits outside the ladies changing room until our daughter is dressed. It would never enter his mind to enter the female changing room, these men are completely out of order.

2 dads with daughters means each is in the room with a naked unrelated young girl.

To be honest I think all changing rooms should be sex separated and also be full cubicles.

This is a very interesting thread. I posted an almost identical thread as a mother, asking when children only are changing whether I should take my son in the men’s or the women’s, and the replies were that it didn’t really matter, and I now take him in the men’s. Interesting that the advice isn’t the same the other way around.

Report and report again. He should not be there.

Hysteria? Over men in women’s spaces? Being a dad doesn’t change anything.