Dads using female communal changing room

Who does? Which law? Where did I say they shouldn't?

they just need to obey the law.

I would love to understand this man’s logic to going in the women’s.

I'd bet good money that the reason they're choosing changing room based on their kid's sex is beciase they think that's the rule and since it's multiple men I reckon a member of staff is telling them that's the policy when they ask. (Perhaps wrongly.)

It's a common issue and it's because people don't think it through, and they go to the changing room that matches the child, because they are the ones getting changed.
The centre should have a rule about what age people can be in the "wrong" room up until (which will certainly be single digits)
Definitely report, it will 100% just be a mistake/unthinking, however if people do do it, then it provides cover for those who it isn't a mistake for!

Had this years ago, won’t use the boys so as not to upset his girls, but our girls were embarrassed by him. Staff put a note on the door which they ignored. I reported them every week and staff came and spoke to them. After 3 weeks they got the message. Why is is always females who have to compromise

Doesn’t matter.

What's the sex of the child the Dad is with?

Then you can make the decision not to send your child to activities where that might happen.

I can’t make sense of this.

Use a family room if available.

If not, under 8s go with parents (mum in women’s, dad in mens).

The child changes in a cubicle if they’re in an opposite sex changing room.

whats all this multiple dads business?

I would not be happy with my child age 9 or age 10, boy or girl, being in a changing room on their own with adults. Age 11 would depend on the child.

One I would have been ok with.
The other no. Catch a train on their own. Yes. But get naked with a bunch of strangers and tell me if something happened or they needed help or be sure they could defend themselves whilst naked on their own. No.

Abusers can be male or female.

A man cannot use a private booth in the women’s to change a female child. That’s against the law. And he should take that child into the men’s. And change her there (whether in a private booth or not is irrelevant because she’s with a parent and therefore the safeguarding risk is minimal)

Yeah that's why I said he should use a private booth in either. If he's changing himself then they should probably use the mens, but either way they shouldn't be in a communal space for either sex. I guess a private booth in women's might be best, but then again if a woman saw him on the way in/out they might get concerned.

It depends a lot on if the communal bits need to be crossed or looked at to enter the private booths.

No. Your husband goes into the men’s.

men are allowed to be around undressing children in the male changing if the children are with their male parent or caregiver because they are female and are u8.

if they’re boy children either u8 or over 8 they are allowed in the men’s to change because they are male children.

men can be around undressing children in a legal sense. It’s not banned in law. Unlike adult women in the men’s or adult men in the women’s which isn’t allowed.

I would love to understand this man’s logic to going in the women’s. If only children are getting changed, he is not protecting his daughter from seeing naked men walking around the male changing facilities. He will be with her, so is there to protect her from any predatory men and from my experience, there was always less men than women accompanying their kids swimming, so I can’t imagine he’d have as busy a changing room as the women’s always was when I went!

There is no justification for any adult man to be in the ladies changing room.

There is also no justification for any adult woman to be in the men’s changing room.

If your child is under 8, they come into the changing room for your biological sex.

if your child is over 8, they go into the changing room for their biological sex either alone or with an adult of the same sex. If they are over 8 and unable to get themselves dressed, you take them into the disabled facilities if they are disabled, and if they aren’t you do your bloody job as a parent and teach them before taking them swimming again.

The kids were not allowed to use the changing rooms at our swimming pool for a while due to a refurb.

It was a pain in the arse but somehow everyone managed and there was no loss of anyone's dignity and privacy.

It's much better to have changing rooms available but if there aren't any suitable you can usually work around the issue....

I go back to my point about difficult parents and adults who think the whole world revolves around what they want to do just wanting to make what is a bloody simple think difficult because they are arses.

So my husband can't take the kids swimming in general swimming then?

Whichever way you organise it girls will have to "budge up".

People over 8 go into the changing room that aligns with their sex.

In this particular instance of it being all children changing it doesn't really matter, but the general rule should be upheld.

It's more tricky if there's a wide range of ages for lessons, but that going to depend on the individual lessons and pool. I have one child who goes to very busy lessons in the main pool, with all ages getting changed, there'll be 4yo and 11yo. Mixed sex individual cubicles.

My other daughter learns in a small school pool and they are all aged 6 and under, no public access. For the latter, it makes zero difference to the child which changing room they go in.

This.

Huh?

the boy children over 8 go in the men’s and the girl children over 8 go in the women’s.

Any other male is allowed in the male changing room.

why on earth wouldn’t they be?

I wouldn't want men in a room where my DDs are changing now they are old enough to change independently... which is considered to he 8ish. Definitely not now they are 13&14.. which is still a child.

He was more mature at that age than a lot of slightly older children so why not? I knew I had to let go at some point as I can't protect him forever.

He knew where I was and frankly I didn't have any choice - like dads. It's either that or he didn't learn to swim which gives circumstances I feel was a bigger risk. I made a judgement which is mine to make and crucially it didn't impact on others. This is the key bit - my decisions should not impact on other children. They are MY parenting decisions.

Tbh I generally feel at a swimming class with lots of parents around the issue is more about privacy and dignity than safety as such because it's five minutes and I'm right outside the door. It's unlikely that he was ever going to be in there alone with an adult.

Fwiw DS is really bodily conscious and hasn't been happy about getting changed in front of me from about six so it really was one of those things that was happening naturally anyway. I didn't exactly make this decision without his input. But it does show that really it's not ok for women to be in there. He HATED the female teachers going in the changing rooms for school swimming lessons but he had to tolerate it for other safeguarding reasons as he was still 8 and under (behaviour issues with other kids).

Changing rooms are about the double header of safety and privacy and dignity. Both are protected in law for good reason. People are too ready to only think about one of the two. It should be both. And your actions as a parent shouldnt be at the expense of other children.

So what happens when there's another Dad in the male changing room? I agree he should use the male ones BTW but I'm saying if men aren't allowed to be around any undressing child except their own, then the place needs to ban Dad's or provide ample solo cubicles.

And at general swim times, no children under 16 should be allowed in the men's changing regardless of sex.

Also. To women with sons.

if your son is U8, you bring him into the women’s with you.

Over 8, he goes into the males and changes alone.

or you wait for a family cubicle or if your child or you are disabled you use the disabled.

no men in the women’s. No women in the men’s. Simples.