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Dads using female communal changing room

712 replies

Strawberrryfields · 23/01/2026 15:50

Not sure how I feel about this so looking for opinions and whether I should do anything.

A couple of times recently I’ve been changing my child after swimming and a dad has come in to change his child in the communal female changing room. It’s after lessons so only children changing. There are communal female, communal male and a number of individual cubicles. It gets very busy at peak times so at times you may need to wait for an individual cubicle.

It feels weird to me a grown man being in there and my instinct is that he should use the private cubicles, though he is clearly there with his child helping them get ready. I also understand him not wanting to take his child into the men’s communal changing rooms with random men in there but to me, he is a random man.

Should I say something? Would you? Chances are it’s just a normal dad changing his kid but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it but not sure if IABU?

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shuggles · 23/01/2026 18:19

@Strawberrryfields The more I think about what you're saying, the more I get confused.

If you're saying he went in to the women's changing rooms then there were women changing, then there is no way this could have happened as he would have been screamed at and chased out.

If this is a very specific scenario in which only children are changing, then your concern seems to be a man being in a changing room when a bunch of girls are changing. This would certainly be a concern if the man was a paedophile, but then equally, if this man went in to a changing room where a bunch of boys were changing, then the exact same concern still applies. So sending him to the men's room in this scenario hardly alleviates the concern.

spannasaurus · 23/01/2026 18:17

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:14

The bit that's questioning whether the FWS case means what people assert.

The supreme court judgment said that for the Equality Act sex means biological sex. If there is a single sex space then only people of the appropriate sex can use that space. They also confirmed that a small child of the opposite sex using a single sex space is fine.

What do you think the supreme court judgment said?

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 23/01/2026 18:16

My own feeling is that he probably feels that it would be safer changing her in the women's changing rooms. Especially if it's a female child. Women often forget that men often feel threatened by dodgy guys also. He could of course use the cubicles and should do so really. I would imagine it's a bit awkward for the other women and mums there. Maybe you could casually mention it to a member of staff at the swimming place. Or you could remind him yourself that there are cubicles there also, you could act like you are telling him in case he didn't know. It could give him the hint

Taztoy · 23/01/2026 18:15

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:14

The bit that's questioning whether the FWS case means what people assert.

Do give us your interpretation. Please

Taztoy · 23/01/2026 18:14

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:10

As I read it the OP was talking about swimming for, and limited to, pre-primary age kids.

She mentions club. But adults go to swimming club and at most pools, even if the club is using one pool, the others remain open.

so there will be girls and women and boys and men there at the same time.

Queenoftartts · 23/01/2026 18:14

To be fair though most leisure centres have family changing rooms.

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:14

spannasaurus · 23/01/2026 18:13

Which bit of the law in respect of single sex spaces do you think is unclear?

The bit that's questioning whether the FWS case means what people assert.

GreenPoms · 23/01/2026 18:13

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:12

How do you think you can tell?

Because of your posts in other threads.

spannasaurus · 23/01/2026 18:13

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:11

It's not but never mind.

Which bit of the law in respect of single sex spaces do you think is unclear?

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:12

GreenPoms · 23/01/2026 18:11

Just realised that @Bromptotoo is a man. He has no right to dictate to women that we should let men into our spaces.

How do you think you can tell?

Taztoy · 23/01/2026 18:12

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:11

It's not but never mind.

Them damn Supreme Court judges. Amateurs the lot of them

GreenPoms · 23/01/2026 18:11

Just realised that @Bromptotoo is a man. He has no right to dictate to women that we should let men into our spaces.

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:11

GreenPoms · 23/01/2026 18:08

You are incorrect. The law is very clear.

It's not but never mind.

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:10

As I read it the OP was talking about swimming for, and limited to, pre-primary age kids.

Taztoy · 23/01/2026 18:10

RedToothBrush · 23/01/2026 18:08

The GCF position is legally irrelevant.

The law is.

That’s what I mean too. What has gender critical feminism got to do with it? The law is the law.

GinPin2 · 23/01/2026 18:09

At our local pool males must be 8 or under to access the female changing room

GreenPoms · 23/01/2026 18:08

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:01

If there are only kids so young they need help drying and dressing there yes.

If there are women or older kids then no.

You are incorrect. The law is very clear.

RedToothBrush · 23/01/2026 18:08

The GCF position is legally irrelevant.

The law is.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 23/01/2026 18:04

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:01

If there are only kids so young they need help drying and dressing there yes.

If there are women or older kids then no.

Thankfully this isn’t the rule at any swimming centre.

Odd that you ‘don’t understand’ GCF yet think very young girls shouldn’t have to be in a male space, and want to solve the problem by allowing men in to young girls’ spaces. Poetic, actually.

Taztoy · 23/01/2026 18:03

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:01

If there are only kids so young they need help drying and dressing there yes.

If there are women or older kids then no.

That argument doesn’t stand up. Because a woman might walk in at any time and she is legally entitled to a single sex changing space.

also. You didn’t say only a child’s swimming session.

and at most leisure centres the changing rooms aren’t just for swimming.

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 18:01

Taztoy · 23/01/2026 17:58

So I have to allow a man into a single sex space because he has a daughter with him? Is that your argument @Bromptotoo?

If there are only kids so young they need help drying and dressing there yes.

If there are women or older kids then no.

LittleBitofBread · 23/01/2026 18:00

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 17:58

We're talking about children who are so young they need help of a parent in the changing room.

Yes, so the parent takes them into the changing room matching the parent's sex.
It's easy.

Taztoy · 23/01/2026 18:00

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 17:58

We're talking about children who are so young they need help of a parent in the changing room.

No. You’re talking about a man going into the ladies changing room.

and you think that justifies dismissing my trauma and my legal right to single sex spaces. Why?

and what has gender critical feminism got to do with my right to single sex spaces?

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 23/01/2026 17:59

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 17:58

We're talking about children who are so young they need help of a parent in the changing room.

So they go in the changing room which matches the parent sex.

It’s not hard, tbh.

GreenPoms · 23/01/2026 17:59

Bromptotoo · 23/01/2026 17:54

Let's go with the simple bit.

I cannot get my head around Gender Critical Feminist thinking (at this level).

You might need to try harder then.