Dads using female communal changing room

I went to collect my neice from her swimming class. She was taking ages so I nipped in to the girls changing room (it was at a school so one big girls changing room and one big boys changing room).

she and another girl from her class were sitting on a bench in their swim suits looking uncomfortable while three men changed their much younger daughters.

My neice and her friend were 11 and these men clearly expected three to change in front of them. The swimming instructor came in and told them they had to leave because she wanted to change. They huffed and puffed, clearly annoyed they were being kicked out!

I was really cross that my niece was made to feel uncomfortable and no one and the school was policing these men’s behaviour.

I think everyone thinks in relation to their own swimming set up.

My youngest does swimming similar to your set up. There are technically 3 simultaneous children but they are of 1-3 children, and everyone arrives swim ready so it's only changing on exit, and 5-9 kids in total, all infant school age. In that instance I don't think it matters, but there are no individual cubicles.

With my eldest, there's 10 plus in a class with at least 6 simultaneous lessons, kids 4-11. That's all mixed sex cubicles thankfully or you would end up with 11yo girls in with adult men, if we went by the sex of the swimmer.

It sounds like the same scent, but the set up really changes the situation.

😅 That's a great idea! 👍

If you look at the full quote history I was replying to it was suggesting a list of possible changing rooms and it listed family changing for adult females and under 8s

I used to be a lifeguard in a leisure centre with single sex changing rooms. Many dads with daughters in swimming lessons used to think because the swimmer was female that they should go to the ladies' changing rooms. It's just a misunderstanding. A member of staff needs to explain that even if he is not swimming, be is only allowed to go in the men's and if his children are under 8, he takes them into the men's. Once they are 8, they are supposed to go to changing room corresponding to their own sex.

@latetothefistingI managed to find it - it’s under a different name i used on mn but this is me. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/chat/5109805-swimming-changing-room-question?utmcampaign=thread&utmmedium=appshare

It’s not as definitive as I remembered - but certainly none of the outrage here, with most saying it doesn’t matter too much.

As I’ve said elsewhere on this thread though it is very specific to our individual situation - it’s a private pool with one swimming lesson at a time and all swimming lessons are for very young children. It is always predictable who will be getting changed. There is no public swimming/ adults getting changed/ chance of older children getting unchanged etc. Which I imagine is why other mums also go in the men’s with their sons (all children need help getting dressed).

Yes that’s my experience, that Mums take their boys into female changing rooms and toilets too.
I do sympathise, tho it doesn’t affect me as I have daughters, as I wouldn’t send young boys into a changing room or toilet on their own.
Parents should be respectful of being in a female space tho, especially in toilets, that toilet seats are put down and no pee on the floor!

Exactly. Next time it happens get the other mums to point at his him and shout "peado, peado, peado" until he leaves. He won't come back in again.

No, men never think of themselves as dodgy. Men: ..huh..looks like all the moms from the swimming group are going changing their kid in there. Oh it's the women's changing rooms. Ara it'll be fine, sure I won't be long anyway and sure I've haven't I my daughter with me. Sure it'll be grand! 😅

Not acceptable at all. If the child is too old to be changing room of the opposite sex, they are old enough to get changed on their own.

Our swimming club have specifically said that people should pick the changing rooms based on the gender of the person taking them swimming and not the gender of the child.
One woman complained and said that it meant her daughter was in a communal changing area with older boys (under the age of 10) and she thought it should be based on the gender of the children as it’s only the children that are getting undressed.
TBH I can see both sides, I take my youngest son into the ladies/girls changing room and the older one (age 11) chooses to go in the boys changing room, but knows there may be girls in there as the Dads have to use that one if they take their daughters swimming.

But the op is talking about pools with single sex changing not family changing ?

My quote didn’t show.

that wasn’t the post I was replying to.

see my previous correction.

Sorry my quote didn’t show.

where exactly does she say that

Family changing isn’t just adult women and young kids?
Men with children are also “family” so if you change in family changing you should be prepared that Men and boys will also be in there.
If that’s an issue you should’ve in female changing.

@sh{mention:shuggles}@shuggles replied to you and said
Same reasoning applies with boys. So I want men's changing rooms segregated from boys' rooms too.

@SleepingStandingUp I said that if women have individual cubicles in their changing rooms, men should have the same. It is not good enough to say cubicles should go in one changing room only.

I'm a man with two DDs and that is just weird. If they are not young enough to change on their own he should be taking them into a cubicle in the mens changing room. As soon as they are old enough they should go into the women's changing room on their own. In no circumstances should he be taking them into the women's changing room. I cannot imagine a circumstance where he would not realise it was odd.

There is equal provision.

Women can go in changing rooms with women and girls and only boys under 8.
Men can go in changing rooms with men and boys and only girls under 8.

The provision isn't "girls are kept away from men" so "boys should be kept away from men".

How does a man take his own kid swimming in your world? Is he even allowed to be around his own naked child? If the 18 yo male has to be kept away from the children, what about the 17 yo ones? They aren't less dangerous in your logic surely for the sake of a few days?

The 9% will be mums or maybe dads of daughters who feel that all the other girls and their mums are not entitled to get undressed in a solely female environment as it slightly inconveniences them to make slight adjustments.

Where exactly does she say that?

I think the obvious answer to the problem of changing is that the children of Dad’s wear their swimwear under their clothes so changing in the male changing rooms wouldn’t be an issue.
Afterwards they need to wait for a private cubicle in the male changing room

A few dads were caught doing this at ours and it caused a huge issue. The school hosting (even though only the club using the pool was present at the weekend) was furious and a lot of very clear signs went up / emails went round.

who are the 9% think this is fine?

What the OP introduces is about communal changing exclusively for children too young to dry and dress themselves after a swimming lesson.

I cannot for the life of see how that raises issues around whether the facility is notionally male or female.

When my daughter's were at swimming lessons, women did take their boys into the men's, it just wasn't complained about as much probably because the majority of accompanying parents were mothers