Dads using female communal changing room

Dh never takes her

Well that's certainly one solution.

You actually meant there were only 4 replies to your thread, and 2 of them actually agreed with the vast majority on this thread

Well yes, but the 50/50 split in that thread shows it isn't as obviously "common sense" that the segregation in these situations is based on the sex of the adult rather that the sex of the person getting changed.

If I was in this situation I'd ask a member of staff, I don't think I'd have been able to guess before I read this thread.

I'm not sure I really believe the OP is genuine, feels like a troll to me, but if it is the Pool need to spell the policy out because there's obviously needless confusion.

No she doesn't. This is ballet. There is only communal changing for shows. Dh never takes her to these. At swimming she uses a cubical on her own. She doesn't get undressed in front of her dad. When she was about six dh helped her in her own cubicle. Why presume her dad is going into communal changing rooms or watching her get changed? The moment she didn't need his help to dressed, he stopped.

Even he he was watching her get changed routinely which in itself is also weird to presume, he wouldn't be doing it in the lady's changing room.

No one needs to get undressed in front of men. Just because it's a changing room and there's a man present your obliged to let your dd to get naked. Or your showing her it's OK and normal. It has never been normal in the UK ( presume the op is in the UK or this is all moot). So why start now if it feels off

Obviously that's not on. Whether that is a factor here depends on the ages of the kids getting changed. Is this a large council pool with a large number of kids with a wide range of ages or a small private pool with a dozen 5 year olds. It could honestly be either.

Sticking to the parents sex is more sensible, it the degree to which it is essential for privacy really does depend on the set up.

What about a 12 year old girl, who has already reached puberty, having to change in front of some random bloke. Not on.

I told dd that she never gets charged in front of any man

She obviously does when her Father takes her.

I told dd that she never gets charged in front of any man and took her to the loo.

Except that's exactly what we expect to happen when a dad takes his daughter swimming, and that's what people are suggest happens here in any event.

The only alternative is 100% cubicles.

He should not be in there and it’s weird for him
to do that.

I can maybe understand it’s equally not ok for his daughter to change in a room full of boys though.

They need more spaces to handle situations like this.

There are always some of those.

I'm the mother of a son. We have raised him in the knowledge that women and girls are not here to not make themselves or their spaces smaller to suit the convenience of men.

When he was 8 years old we stopped using the female changing facilities. A good many mothers were bringing in boys of much older. There were girls that age who were clearly self-conscious.

It's instilling entirely the wrong message into boys - we don't raise them in a vacuum and I can't protect him from the outside, but these attitudes start in the home.

Yes, it's more inconvenient for me. But that's for me to work around, not the rest of the female gym membership.

Not at the pool but in dd ballet club, dad's stay with their dds getting changed and get all affronted when asked to leave. "My dd is only 6!" But there's teenage girls getting changed too.

I told dd that she never gets charged in front of any man and took her to the loo. Not only do we need to push back firmly with these men, but show our girls it's not ok to put up with it. If others want to take that chance all in the name of be kind, my dd can show she won't just feel uncomfortable to spare some random man's feelings.

If I took my sons to the male communal changing room it wouldn't be tolerated. No half decent man would do this either. My dh would never dream of doing this. No man with half a brain cell would.

This. It's disgusting and so humiliating for young girls having to change in front of him. I wonder if he enjoys watching young girls and women change? I mentioned it to DH and he was horrified and thought he must be perverted.

Well not really. Lots of problems with recording and voyeurism on mixed sex changing villages.

This is why changing villages are the way forward. All cubicles and lots of family sized cubicles. No one has to see anyone naked!
So much better for this very situation or if you have a boy and a girl etc
We travel a bit further to use one like this rather than our local M/F (I have 2 boys)

Yes! If the girl is not old enough to get herself changed alone she will be ok in the men's with her dad.

Exactly. It’s hypocritical to not want little girls to be exposed to random men in the men’s but then be fine with a random man in the female changing room where women and girls are exposed to him and other men with the same idea.

It’s the same with toilets. You’re either fine with men in there or you’re not. Don’t pick and choose.

@latetothefistingsome people are very quick on this thread to become insulting when it really isn’t necessary. As I said, when I looked back it wasn’t as definitive as I had remembered. I didn’t need to share it in those circumstances, but it’s an interesting discussion so I was happy to do so 🤷‍♀️. I do think the fact it got so few replies in comparison to this thread is telling. In our specific swimming situation the lack of replies suggested to me it was kind of a non issue. Although clearly in other set ups there are more issues to consider.

Yea I find this really weird. Like the rules are suspended because it’s children. Get all the arguments for it, but my DD is 9 and well on her way through puberty - there are not always keep cubicles available so she hasn’t a choice but to change in front of men. Plus occasionally the squad swim after us and they are 15/16 yo girls.

That's what happens at my gym, Dad's take their female children into the men's. Mums bring their boys into the ladies.

so by "I posted a thread on this exact topic and everyone said it was fine to take my son in the men’s,"

You actually meant there were only 4 replies to your thread, and 2 of them actually agreed with the vast majority on this thread and told you you should use the changing room that matches the parent's sex, not the child's?

talk about misremembering/misrepresenting facts, you could give Trump a run for his money!

Big fat NO!

Very unreasonable. You're basically accusing the guy of being a paedophile although you say and know he's doing nothing wrong. Would you rather girls used the male changing room or would that be a problem too.

Sorry. Mangled in transcription.
I wouldn't feel happy with a young boy being alone in men's changing room.
Not all men are predators. But almost all predators are men.

where does OP say it's "communal changing exclusively for children too young to dry and dress themselves after a swimming lesson."

She didn't. She said it's just children changing after lessons, yes, but not how old they are. Children having lessons could be up to 10,11,12 = entering puberty and entitled to not have an adult in their changing room.

Even if he goes into the mens he is likely to be in the same space as unrelated naked young girls as I am sure most men would be taking their daughters into the mens.

I do agree though he should not be in the ladies and I am surprised he even thinks that's ok. If there are individual spaces surely any parent with opposite gender children should just be using them to save any complications or offence to other users.

I wouldn't find eel hours happy about a boy aged 8 or 9 getting changed alone in the men's changing room.
Unless it was school use and full of other same age boys and perhaps a supervising adult about.