Dads using female communal changing room

But it’s okay for his potentially 11 year old child to be in the men’s changing room??

But it’s okay for his potentially 11 year old child to be in the men’s changing room??

Then if she needs help he can take her into the men’s, that’s not a problem as long as she’s under 8 (and if she’s older than that, it’s still his problem to sort out)

I can’t believe you think it’s fine for an adult man to be in a place where 11 year old girls may be changing.

Doesn’t say how old the child is, she might need help or have a disability. Also he might also not want to leave her alone due to her sense of safety or worried about her going missing - OP hasn’t exactly said he’s stood round staring at other people he might just be minding his business feeling awkward! I know men can be predators trust me (survivor myself) however I think there needs more context before she verbally accosts him in front of everyone

She can be in there. He can’t be.

If she can’t manage without help, he’ll either have to take her into the men’s or find another alternative which doesn’t involve him going into the female changing rooms.

Is his child a girl? I can see why he’d rather her be there than in the men’s changing rooms

There was a similar thread a few months back and I remain utterly baffled by the hysteria about children seeing a naked adult of the opposite sex. There were suggestions the daughters should go in the men's but with their eyes closed or facing the wall. Do people think that children's first sight of the other sex's genitals should be when they are old enough for a sexual relationship?!

Our leisure centre has men's, women's and then school girls and boys, which solves this problem. But when I change my DD in the girls I'm never sure what to do with my 7yo DS! It's full of dads about I feel awkward taking DS in in case he bumps into and embarrasses a classmate, so have to make him wait outside with a book!

A grown man should not be in a room with unrelated naked young girls. Did no one ask him what the fuck he was doing in there while their children were changing?

Why not, ?

"So the point still stands. Its illegal for men to be in female only spaces."

There is no argument that it would be illegal if the person refuses to leave - but as far as I can see, simply entering without any intent to cause harm is not illegal.

I did not start making legal arguments - I don't need the law to know that it is not appropriate. But you did - so please do provide some evidence.

Of course he shouldn't be in there. He should wait for a cubicle if he doesn't want to use the men's.

Not sure how I feel about this so looking for opinions and whether I should do anything.

A couple of times recently I’ve been changing my child after swimming and a dad has come in to change his child in the communal female changing room. It’s after lessons so only children changing. There are communal female, communal male and a number of individual cubicles. It gets very busy at peak times so at times you may need to wait for an individual cubicle.

It feels weird to me a grown man being in there and my instinct is that he should use the private cubicles, though he is clearly there with his child helping them get ready. I also understand him not wanting to take his child into the men’s communal changing rooms with random men in there but to me, he is a random man.

Should I say something? Would you? Chances are it’s just a normal dad changing his kid but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it but not sure if IABU?

Perhaps that’s true at population level but not on an individual basis when I know I’m not dangerous. So in my case a random adult is more likely to be a danger. Potentially moreso with a random adult who is willing to publicly push boundaries.

Or as several people have said (and my own uncertainty) it could be a simple be a misunderstanding, he wasn’t thinking etc. But in certain circumstances it’s best to just nip it in the bud rather than give the benefit of the doubt. With hindsight that would be my approach next time.

I don't understand why it's better for this man to take his daughter to the men's. How is it better for his little girl to change in a room with boys up to 11yo and their dads? I assume the dad prefers the scenario where his little girl is changing with other girls, in a space that he probably considers safer.

By all means, ask that there are no dads in the women's and mums in the mens by requesting that in those circumstances they wait for the cubicles. The pool needs more cubicles and family changing rooms. But I don't think there's need to vilify a dad looking after his little DD, who is possibly narrow-thinking about changing her in a safe space without thinking about his own presence there.

Can someone explain to me why a man in a women’s changing room when children only are changing is such a threat? If these men are such a potential risk to your girls, they would be in the same changing space as your girls anyway if their dad took them swimming. Is it about teaching girls the importance of female only spaces? I’m genuinely interested to learn given that when I posted a thread on this exact topic everyone said it was fine to take my son in the men’s (which I now do). Would you prefer I take my son in the women’s and your girls see my son undressed? Thanks in advance.

I don't understand why it's better for this man to take his daughter to the men's. How is it better for his little girl to change in a room with boys up to 11yo and their dads? I assume the dad prefers the scenario where his little girl is changing with other girls, in a space that he probably considers safer.

By all means, ask that there are no dads in the women's and mums in the mens by requesting that in those circumstances they wait for the cubicles. The pool needs more cubicles and family changing rooms. But I don't think there's need to vilify a dad looking after his little DD, who is possibly narrow-thinking about changing her in a safe space without thinking about his own presence there.

I don't understand why it's better for this man to take his daughter to the men's. How is it better for his little girl to change in a room with boys up to 11yo and their dads? I assume the dad prefers the scenario where his little girl is changing with other girls, in a space that he probably considers safer.

By all means, ask that there are no dads in the women's and mums in the mens by requesting that in those circumstances they wait for the cubicles. The pool needs more cubicles and family changing rooms. But I don't think there's need to vilify a dad looking after his little DD, who is possibly narrow-thinking about changing her in a safe space without thinking about his own presence there.