Lighthearted...what daft thing have you done lately?

I hadn’t see the cat all day and was going out till late, I hadn’t fed him since the afternoon before so I wanted to feed him and get him in for the night.

I went out looking for him and found him, he’d wandered much further than usual so I picked him up and brought him home and fed him in the kitchen and went straight out.

I had a few drinks when I was out and was a bit tipsy, I got home and fed the cat again and left him in the kitchen eating then got into bed where the cat was fast asleep.

I was just falling asleep when I sat up confused as to how the cat was asleep on the bed when I’d left him eating in the kitchen!
I woke DP who had got home after I’d gone out then gone to bed, he said he’d fed the cat that morning and saw him go under the bed so I’d obviously gone out whilst he was inside asleep to look for him and catnapped someone else’s pet.

We later found out it was the neighbours son’s cat who was frantic for his furry friend.
In my defence both cars are black and both called Salem so neighbours cat answered when I called him. 😂

Punched myself in the face in the night, half asleep, when my hand slipped whilst pulling up the bedcovers.
Jabbed myself hard in the nipple when my hand slipped whilst I was getting dressed.

Might give up on any complex tasks for the day.

I once put diesel in a petrol car. It was only a few litres before I realised. Who the fuck goes that? It's normally the other way round

Oh these are good.

Another one I did lately was going to a garage for fuel ( one i don't usually use) and parked so close to the pump i could barely squeeze out. I had to mention it to the ladies at the counter in case they'd been watching laughing 🤣 It was worse trying to get in. I was half expecting seeing myself on Facebook parking like a twat.

During a game of scrabble, I picked up a handful of crisps and put them in my mouth. They weren't crisps they were scrabble tiles.

Are you American?

This is hilarious: I can only imagine the poor man's confusion, but being too polite to ask what was going on... 😁

I've also done the looking for my phone while on the phone. I was chatting to my cousin while getting ready to leave and getting more and more panicked that I couldn't find it. I eventually said 'I have to go as I cant find my phone' he said 'No problem, ring me back when you find it!' We're not the brightest family.

I’ve done loads of daft things - I’m renowned for it in the family!

A few years ago DH and I were on holiday in Rhodes with our DS. Self catering apartments but with hotel facilities- pool, restaurant, reception etc. A couple of days before we were due to leave, I went to Reception to arrange a late check out room. Got it booked and went back to our apartment, opened the door and called out ‘That’s all sorted then, let’s go to the beach’. No answer so I opened the bedroom door to be greeted by a couple sitting up in bed. Yes, I’d entered the wrong apartment- same position as ours but in a different block! I just said, ‘Oh I’m so sorry’ and rushed out at the speed of Usain Bolt back to the correct apartment and buried my head in a pillow!

On another holiday in Turkey with DH and the kids, I managed to fuse the electricity and cause a power and lights failure in the whole complex by leaving the electric kettle on the hob whilst the hob was switched on 🙈. Completely oblivious I said, ‘Oh goodness, a power cut’ and DD said ‘Yes I think that was you Mum!’

And then there was the time I caused the building alarm to go off in the British Museum by mistaking the alarm cord in the disabled loo for the toilet chain. (In the disabled as Ladies closed). I came out of the cubicle to find DH and the kids with their hands over their ears and the most horrendously loud alarm going off. We didn’t stay to look at any other exhibits in the museum……..

I think I’ll stop there!

I almost did that once, but my tactful dad said, 'Your eye make-up looks very subtle on your right eye this evening.' Yeah because there wasn't any mascara. (I also white blonde lashes so have to wear it every day if I don't want people to ask if I'm recovering from flu all the time!)

Recently, I put some tanning oil in my right palm then went to rub it on my left arm completely forgetting I was still holding the tanning oil, lid off, in my left hand. Tipped it all down the sink. It was such a slapstick moment, I just laughed. But now need more tanning oil. (Also needed to avoid being asked if I've had flu, due to blue-grey-white natural skin colouring.)

OMG 😳 I can't imagine the trauma your DH woke up to...and the shock you would've been in 🥹

Happily went off to work with Mascara on only one of my eyes. For the record, I am a red head with almost white eyelashes - it was very clockwork orange!!

I've told this story before but I do think it's a classic

I had to accompany a gentleman with learning difficulties to a meeting with his bank, for work. The bank clerk took us into a room, there was only 1 spare chair so I let him sit there & the bank clerk pointed to a fold up chair fixed to the wall for me. I pulled it out & sat on it. After about 10 mins the bank clerk looked over at me and said "I thought you were a bit high up. You're supposed to take the chair off the wall before you sit on it!" 🤣