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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP’s son moving in

936 replies

maximusss · 23/01/2026 07:42

I suspect I’m being unreasonable here but I thought it would be helpful to get other people’s opinions.

My DP has a DS19, sees him usually once a week when he comes to stay.

We’re due to exchange on a house next week and last night DP dropped in to conversation over dinner that his DS will be moving in full time when we are in the new house.

Now I know this is his son, and I like him, but AIBU to think there should have been slightly more discussion on this? I worry about what else he will drop on me without notice or discussion further down the line. Maybe it’s me being dramatic, it’s just made me feel a little uneasy for some reason.

OP posts:
IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 23/01/2026 07:53

Do you have any objections to the son living with you, or is it the way he's gone about it with assuming he can just decide this and drop it on you last minute?

Does he have form for this on seemingly less important things? For instance does he just casually drop on you that he's going to be out all day Sunday on Sunday morning?

LividArse · 23/01/2026 07:53

Had he genuinely not floated the idea previously?

What did you say when he said it?

Original poster
maximusss · 23/01/2026 07:51

LividArse · 23/01/2026 07:50

You sound very passive in this.

You need to pull out and maintain your own home.

I think it’s more because I feel I’m being unreasonable to say no - it’s his son after all!

OP posts:
NetflixWithoutFriendsIsWrong · 23/01/2026 07:51

Pull out now

LividArse · 23/01/2026 07:50

You sound very passive in this.

You need to pull out and maintain your own home.

Fenchurk · 23/01/2026 07:49

Pull out of the new house. It’s not up to you to house this adult.

Original poster
maximusss · 23/01/2026 07:48

I forgot to mention current living situation. We both live separately at the moment but have spent a long time living between the two houses so we know we can live together ok etc.

OP posts:
Devuelta81 · 23/01/2026 07:47

Yeah that's not his decision to make alone. I second the PP above. What's your current living situation?

HarryVanderspeigle · 23/01/2026 07:47

Of course he should have discussed with you first. You haven't exchanged yet, so still have time to pull out if this doesn't work for you.

Motomum23 · 23/01/2026 07:46

Wow seriously!? Unless there's been some sort of understanding in your previous home that his DS could move in full time without discussing it then id say he is being totally unreasonable and its not out of line to suggest pulling out of the sale.

MidWayThruJanuary · 23/01/2026 07:44

It absolutely should have been fully discussed upfront.
I would be very seriously considering my options here if I were you.

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