DP’s son moving in

Make sure you ask him about the fact that the sun will also expect to have the girlfriend over all the time. So you won't just have one unexpected adult, you'll have two.

You already know the son it's lazy and messy. Is your partner prepared to clean up after two additional adults?

His own mother (his flesh and blood) is at the end of her tether with him. There is no reason to believe he will treat OPs place any differently. In fact it sounds like his dad will be less than effective at managing his child so why should OP take the risk? The son is 19, not 12. Ominously, OP wrote that he is currently working which suggests he has a chequered job history. The move would be a disaster for her but great for her DP and his son. Btw the son has a choice of 3 places to live: his mum's if he reduces the mess and is a bit more respectful, his dad's or his own room in a houseshare. He's not being left out on his ear.

This could be about any large man-made decision about your future shared home. You have not been asked or consulted which is wrong. I would pull out of the sale, even if it means you lose your buyer and the new place you are buying. Take a pause of 6 months or so and see how things pan out between you and your partner and his son. A lot of money is at stake, as is your independence. I would not risk it in the circumstances.

I was with you up until your last sentence.

You’ve said a few times that you feel unreasonable because it’s his son after all. The issue absolutely isn’t who he’s invited it’s how. You don’t invite anyone, regardless of relationship, to live with you as two adult without a conversation, particularly when the person in question is another adult. Unbelievable from him. So sorry this is happening to you.

Right, his son could have moved in with his dad yonks ago. (As IF 🤣. Hardly have got his shirts and gym crap washed or his supper cooked there, I bet)

Isn’t the Universe mysterious, the way these innocent but very handy coincidences occur?
Suddenly the adult son is fed up with his mother’s complaints, and Lo!
Here is his dad with a built-in woman to ‘do’ for them both, a bonne à toute faire as they say in darkest France.
DP is a pretty cynical bloke by the sound of things and, I’d bet any money, an unreconstructed MCP.
Caveat emptor, though it’s no doubt too late and OP too lacking in spleen.

I would pull out. And I definitely wouldn’t want a weed smoking messy lazy adults DSS moving in without conversation and clear boundaries. It speaks volumes as to how you are viewed by your DP 🚩

Look.
It isn’t his son.
You like his son.
You’re very fond of his son.
It’s the principle of his moving his son in.
I suggest moving a puppy or kitten in without his consent or permission.
Just move it in.
And I’d suggest a kitten. Because that comes with a cat box.
Or perhaps a large puppy — because that does not — bwa ha ha.
Do NOT take this lying down!!!

Sending love and STRENGTH from California ❤️

@BePoisedPlumUser do you suggest the same behaviour when OP’s DD stays there

@bigboykitty but the OP should also have considered it, especially if she was expecting her DD to be able to stay, but wrong of her to say DD can stay but his son cant

Say yes and then have really loud sex at every opportunity. He won’t stay for long.

This is very unfair. Why doesn’t his Son apply for his own flat? He’s working after all.

Completely agree with this!

There seem to be plenty of underlying issues with this son though.

But OP doesn’t live with this man.

She has the opportunity to avoid the situation if it doesn’t suit her.

I'm afraid I can't answer for the useless prick. I don't know him. Obviously.

@bigboykitty so when they had that discussion why didn’t the discuss the possibility of his son treating their house as home. At the very least he was still going to be staying one day a week, so how was girlfriend and smoking weed going to fit in then?

I presume there would be discussion before this happens, and uni holidays have already been discussed. It’s not quite the same as telling your dp that your weed- taking, possibly messy (why his mum means?) son (and girlfriend) are moving in.

Buying a house for three full- time adults is different to two-adults and guests. Apart from anything, nothing has. Been discussed about finances. Is the son going to pay a third of all bills etc. or will op be expected to pay 50:50, so subsidising him?

Just pull out and stop pandering to these step mum situations. Enough is enough, women will do everything for a man's cock, fed up seeing this nonsense

The partner wont need to say no, he'll let his son + gf do as they please and she wont want to live there.

would be a total NO from me.

Don't be silly. OP said they've already discussed and agreed this. Because OP isn't a twat.

It's not too late to cancel the exchange on Monday. They will call on the day to confirm that OP and her shit partner are happy to proceed with the exchange.

He has a roof over his head. With his mother. He's looking to move presumably because he thinks his dad will be more of a soft touch. It's not exactly like he's going to end up sleeping on a park bench if he can't move into his dad's.

Yes. Decisions like that need to be discussed and mutually agreed. If they cannot agree then they cannot live together.