Small town problems!

I meant more like in the middle of a sombre service when there are hymns. Im aware that many are not like that., It was more an offhand comment about having SOME awareness of social expectations.

and as an aside I think again that its normal to not feel like an adult. we are always who we had been. There is no sudden shift into adult. Just a gaining of a shed load of responsibilities, and choices about what you do/dont do now you have those responsibiulities. It can be hard to 'get' that as an autistic woman. that you still feel alot younger than you are. Id say I feel Im lagging about 20 years....... but sadly have the body and stamina of a 60 year old

Jesus Christ...

4 Personas

Its ‘like’ either where I’m going wrong or what is wrong with the world

>trots off to check FB events pondering a new persona<

One of my own life quotes was

"I used to think I was really special. Then it turned out I just had autism"

Its easy to feel very different from other people when you are autistic. And before you know you are, then it can make you feel a bit alien.

But OP

just do the things. Be the person. Live doing what you do and if people dont like it, well fuck them, they were not friends.

Live in your authenticity. Be who you are. You dont need to prove anything.

BUT be careful with other peoples kids. No wild parties where you laugh that they are taking drugs, drinking underage, permissive sex in your home. Thats a line that should never be crossed, however cool and with the kids you are, and no matter what YOU were doing at 15. You can end up as a social pariah, or in serious legal trouble.

Apart from that, crack on. If you open up a bit more about the different sides, you may be surprised.

Adults who are 'friends' with teens worry me.

A lot.

The other thing I was thinking as well as ASD as I was reading your posts was EUPD

I work with a vulnerable client group, children and adults and there is something about adult women with EUPD who are always having teens hanging round their flats or being friends with them.

This thread is such a good example of why we need the laughing emoji back.

When I was a teenager I used to stay at my friend's house and have a cup of tea with her dad in the mornings, because we got up earlier than everyone else.

I never thought of it as 'hanging out' and him being one of ma boyz! 👀🤣🤣

Missed opportunity to name ourselves the 'Kitchen Crew'.

To set the record straight, I didn’t tell you to get over yourself 😁 I suggested as part of your message you say I’ve gotten over myself, because it’s casual self deprecating language that makes you sound reasonable and easy to get along with, to help you get welcomed back and your awkward cancellation forgotten.
I’m often cough blunt, but I wasn’t being quite that blunt this time 😁

This is an entirely bizarre thread. You seem to have a dose of exceptionalism.

It's a bit of a main character syndrome reaction to think that she'd have such a strong view of you attending a social to meet people, especially when she does it herself without all the rigmarole.

Its fine to have friends who dont overlap and to want to find your "tribe" it was however wierd and again, a main character move, to email the organiser with so much detail as to why you might not attend.

Yes this, it isn't unusual or "wacky" for some funerals to turn into gatherings.

Sorry i meant to say, i think the op meant they were all party animals or something.

As an Irish woman, this sounds like the majority of funerals/wakes I've been to.

But the OP seems to think it's very cool or something.

I want to attend as a different “persona” if that makes any sense.

It doesn’t!

I wondered about ASD as well but you darent say that now on any thread

However, its somewhat irrelevant, what OP needs is social skill coaching, she needs to learn 'how to be'.

The problem with therapists is that they dont really challenge enough I find, having said in a previous post to OP that she needs this

Plus, OP you dont get 'signed off' by therapists, like its an MOT or something

haaha,well that was likely part of the plan, for THAT type of funeral. but you know what I mean

That's because she is cooler than us... she hangs out with teenagers and gives them alcohol! way cool!!!

and yes, I dont exactly 'hang out' with my young peoples friends, but I do chat with them and take interest in their stuff, and speak to them as equals because I am generally interested in what they have to say.
I would say be careful not to swamp them though. It can shift from 'cool mum' to 'bit wierd mum' quite quickly - make sure the majority of the time they are able to just be with their friends without you. Im not strict or judgemental, but we have respectful boundaries. My dos and donts may be different to some people, but its not a wild 'anything goes' party house. And Im still the parent, not the BFF

I also went to EGX with my son, his friend, my daughter and her boyfriend. And they likewise come to the theatre with me., My son and his friends often work with me in the school/uni holidays and my daughters friends did so previously. We are all ASD so share the deep dive special interest gene.

Lots of funerals turn into parties because lots of people would prefer them that way.

In some countries/cultures it's actually the traditional thing to have a huge piss up/knees up.

Having said that, not sure what your point was here?

Exactly, people say something constructive/advice their perspective and just get another random bonkers anecdote or dripfeed instead lol

You're ignoring all the actual advice on the thread...

I know everybody would think that I pretend to be like that Mean Girls mum. Maybe I am, but I do enjoy hanging out with them

I mean, yes that's literally who you sound like lol
"I'm not just any Mom, I'm a COOL mom"
Do you say "you guys keep me young, love ya!" and blow air kisses too 🙄😁

The fantastic thing about forums is the way you get insights into different people's lives, different ways of thinking.

This one's a doozy!

This is what you call 'hanging out'? 🤦‍♀️

Just being at home when his friends come in, talking about education and handing them a cocktail if you have some in the fridge?