Absolutely worn out, two bed wetters - please help!!

I remember how exhausting this was. Even desmopressin from the GP didn’t help.

The cure for us was the alarm. It worked within a week although we kept it on for longer.

In the meantime, large washable bed mats meant that at least there was only one thing to wash and I had fresh ones handy by the bed each night.

I can’t find the exact alarm we used but it was similar to this - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wet-Stop-Bedwetting-Enuresis-Vibration-Moisture/dp/B006B8U8BG/ref=asc_df_B006B8U8BG?mcid=c38fbe3d944d32a9af6286c50c44f5f0&th=1&psc=1&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697226600818&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4329371985714567942&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046754&hvtargid=pla-424802830551&psc=1&hvocijid=4329371985714567942-B006B8U8BG-&hvexpln=0&gad_source=4

I was sceptical as I thought it would just scare the child, but it worked so so well.

My dc have food allergies. Whenever we try to reintroduce the allergens they have night time incontinence. It's such a clear pattern I've given up trying.

My eldest wasn’t dry till 9, it’s just a hormonal thing - his body didn’t wake him when he needed to wee. So he wore disposable pull-up pants.

If it was a big wee it did occasionally leak onto the bedding - we had top sheet, wee pad, waterproof cover, and then another layer of top sheet, wee pad, waterproof cover so if the bed needed changing you’d just strip off the top three layers and not have to make it again straightaway.

Even when we followed all the precautions (no liquid within 2 hours of bedtime, wee last thing), he would still wee in his sleep every night until he just stopped.

Hi, i wanted to tell you about a function on my washer dryer machine. It's John Lewis brand and both washes and tumbles. It can be programmed for a wash followed by a dryer cycle. The max load for drying is less,only 4kg rather than 8kg, but I can put bed sheets in there first thing in the morning and the programme runs independently all the way through until they are bone dry. Takes a good few hours but it doesn't involve me, so it's good option if you're out of home for the morning. I have to forgo a tumble dryer sheet for softness and use washing powder in the drawer. But it's brilliant.

I was the bed wetter, and after years of alarms, new routines, Dr's visits and even overnight hospital stays.
It stopped being most nights when I was 13 , but I still had the odd occasion until I was 15.

My 5 year old with suspected ASD is in night nappies. If they’re wetting regularly the put them in night nappies. They’re still young.

Sorry don't have tips, but our 4 yo has similar patterns. He can be dry with a nappy for 2-3 weeks, so we remove it, it's fine for a week and then he starts wetting the bed again.

The one thing we noticed is that when he is dry he generally wakes up at night to go to the toilets. When he wets the bed, he's clearly deep asleep, so we think the main factor is that he has phases where he sleeps better/maybe is more tired.
An alarm would probably work, but he shares a room with his sister so not ideal, and we feel it's probably not urgent for a 4yo.

I love the Lynmark bed pads on Amazon. You can buy of 2 or 4. Very absorbent and wash really well.
https://amzn.eu/d/5yIKlyr

I'd switch to a coverless blanket so you don't have additional sheets to wash in case of accidents.

amzn.eu/d/8c5mn2V

If the kids are drinking any squash at tea time please stop as that can cause additional wee trips. My kids and nephews would go so often after drinking Vimto, blackcurrant laced squashes especially.

I would be using pull-ups. No question.

As for the bed: mattress protector that is plastic/plastic- like, then a sheet, then double thickness beach towels x2 to sleep on. I'd buy several cheaper sheets as well to layer one over the towels in case they don't stay in place.

I don't see a way around the laundry issue if the kids aren't wearing night-time protection. There's no shame in it and I don't think there is any harm in it either. Some NT kids are late bed-wetters, too. I think just keep them comfortable. My 4y is still in pull-ups at night and we call them night time underwear. 🤷‍♀️

You could also stop liquids 4 hours before bed and wake them in the middle of the night to pee.

Last resort would be medication. Ask your doctor.

Have you tried pelvic floor exercises with them? I had the issue when I was a child and it was the only thing that stopped it.

Aldi does night time pants for up to 7 year olds.

Buy extra sheets and layer them. Waterproof then fitted, the Waterproof then fitted. During the night I just whip off a layer, saves a full bed change. I also just flip the duvet if it's wet and deal with it in the morning. A few nights ago, my 6 year old wet the bed and he just pulled off the layer by himself and went back to bed.

My NT child wasn't dry at night until age 7. He wore pull ups until then.

Why are you stressing over this op? They can’t control it at those ages yet, just save yourself the hardship and but them in pull-ups. I’ve found ninjamas to be very good. Once that hormone kicks in it’ll sort itself out.

Mine are 8 and 10 both are mostly dry now but still get phased of wetting, it can be unpredictable. What we tend to do is after a wet night they wear a pullup until we are sure the wetting has stopped.

Other than that layering the sheets helps keep distribution to a minimum during the night.

it seems like there’s already some great advice and support here. My only practical tip, which you may already be doing, is to layer up waterproof sheets and fitted sheets, so in the night you can take off the top two if needed and the bed will already be made underneath. Layer as many as you need. It takes the pressure off in the night and makes washing less urgent.

My 8 year old has ASD and isnt dry at night.

He wears pull ups but for leakage I prepare his bed. I do mattress protector, bottom sheet bed pad , mattress protector, bottom sheet, bed pad, mattress protector bottom sheet, bed pad. That way if he leaks, I just take one set off and the next set is already there. Which cuts the job in half because you dont have to faff around too much with new bedding.

A king-size fleecy blanket folded in half and put in the duvet cover instead of a duvet means its easier to chuck the whole thing in the washing machine

I’d use pull ups. Friend’s 7yr old SEN child is still in pull ups. Save yourself the washing.

For us, the alarm seemed to work initially but then they slept through it but I would say it’s worth a try. We also used a protector that went on top of the sheets. Are they drinking enough early on in the day and stretching their bladder, because this was our main issue.

If all is OK at GPs maybe it’s because they are not quite s settled and in as deep a sleep so alarms may work in that case

if all else fails, I’d resort to pull ups and wait it out.

My ds was reliably dry at 5, nearly 6. He is not ND. We kept him in nappies until he was. It's a hormone thing that drives being dry at night so expecting your 4 yr old to he dry yet is quite presumptuous.

Someone I know has a ND dd, who wasn’t dry at night until in her teens. Her mum used to wash the whole duvet in the cover. You can also get coverless duvets so you just wash the whole thing and they dry really fast.

Solidarity OP, DD was a bed wetter until about 12 and she wore pull ups because I didn't have the energy to do endless laundry (we didn't have a dryer either).

DD is NT (now 26) but she was just such a heavy sleeper, nothing would wake her - we live in New Zealand and she slept through a magnitude 7.0 earthquake. Potentially hormones played a part as well.

I started alarms/waking her when I got up to go to the loo when she started secondary, and we eventually cracked it.

This. You are being very hard on yourself it's not a ND thing, our boys were all late. Just use night time pants and encourage them along. It will come....... our 7 year old just uses pull ups size 8 but he is small. The media message around this is so confusing its not connected with actual toilet training.

ASD DD ( now 19), was the same. She was put on Desmopressin by the consultant, and it was very effective. She just didn’t produce the Hormone that stops you weeing in your sleep. She was on it until she was about 12.

No advice really just some solidarity 😊When my 3 kids were little they all wet the bed and it was so stressful. They all grew out of it eventually. My eldest had a nasal spray that didn't work and alarms only worked for a short period. We tried everything (lifting, reduced fluids, night pants etc) Eventually we were advised to just wait it out as some kids don't stop until much older. DS1 stopped around 11 (in fact he was nervous about PGL, went, didnt have a single accident there and never did again) DD stopped at 11 and DS2 at 8.
We bought them all waterproof mattresses and duvets . Until we started using these we could never fully remove the ammonia smell completely despite the washer running daily and using mattress covers etc. Once the duvets had covers on you'd never know that they were waterproof.

Pull ups and double - make the bed so you can strip it quickly and have a clean set underneath. Doesn’t help with washing but at least you get a bit more sleep.
I agree with pp that they don’t have the hormones yet. I believe they can be seen for bedwetting after a certain age as they can prescribe the hormone.