Absolutely worn out, two bed wetters - please help!!

I do remember that she was told wearing something loose on their bottom half (if not in dry nites) can help as well, no pants etc

Mine is 7, not ND. I was a bed wetter myself and I just don't want her to be anxious about it (I was consumed) so it's pull-ups till she doesn't need them anymore and no stress.

My very tall almost 5 year old is in pampers size 9s and she also can fit in ninjamas. Also Tesco do large sizes and if none of those fit, there are many specialist suppliers of larger sizes that your eldest could wear. They will definitely be happier and you will be if they go back to pull ups overnight. They just don’t seem ready.

My friends son wasn’t dry for a long time and the doctor said it’s absolutely normal for children to wet the bed until they are 10/11.

I remember she also had 2 layers on the bed, so one could be lifted off at night.

I find many of the responses here strange. This is not a problem that needs to be fixed (yet). Many children are not dry at night at 4 and quite a few are not at 7. It’s hormonal (as the dr poster upthread mentioned). Put them in night nappies. Look at the NHS/eric advice on when to seek help. I think it was around 8 the last time I looked.

I don't think the dream wee (is that what it was called?) the half asleep on the potty wee worked with my girls. It just encouraged then to wee while half asleep! The goal is to wake up right?

My son is not ND but still wet the bed regularly until 8 when it stopped suddenly so there is hope. They need the change in hormones.

In terms of what helped, both my kids have IKEA mattresses with the full zip off cover. Son could pee through a pull up, fleece pyjamas, a sheet and string waterproof mat! The ability to strip the thick cover off the mattress was a god send and it dried quickly.

He has a pull out style bed with two mattresses. I kept both made up with waterproof sheet and fitted sheet so that in the night I could just pull one off and get him back in bed easily. Chuck the wet stuff in washer and deal with rest later. You could do similar with a mattress topper. It means all of you can get back in bed quicker.

Quick drying bedding l. Fleece is quick in winter and I had summer sets from the online home store which were cheap as chips but super soft and fast drying (and not super slippy like others I've tried).

When we went away I had two thick waterproof mats from Lidl (more like a large washable puppy pad). He was too wriggly to keep one under him as they are designed so I stitched them together.

I think mine was down to how deeply he slept. He often didn't wake even after he'd done it. When they are away from home they probably don't relax to quite the same extent.

Fingers crossed you are not too far from the eldest growing out of it.

My DD was born in 1999, so was a bed wetter throughout the 2000s, I had never heard of this hormone until recently. I never discussed it with anyone except my parents (we would stay with them) as I was too embarrassed, it was only when my DD wet the bed at my brother's that I opened up about it, his then stepson was a bed wetter so he was very understanding and offered me some advice. My mother was very judgemental, which probably didn't help the situation.

DD never did sleepovers as she was never invited, so that was never an issue.

Having said that, on school residential forms, there is a box to tick for bed wetters, so I presume it was not totally unusual back then.

If it’s just nighttime wetting then there is a great medication which is a game changer. With ND children often they seem not to make the hormone that triggers the body to stop making urine at night. No amount of training will work if they just are making a lot of urine. Very often they do grow into producing enough but in that difficult period where they are too big for wee to be contained in nappies but not yet making enough of the hormone, taking essentially a hormone replacement for this is brilliant. Would highly recommend.

Tesco own brand junior plus pull ups- are great and are large . They do teenage/ adult size too!

DS was a bed wetter up until about 7. I just put him in pull ups in the end as it got too much with all the washing. I figured that once it was time to stop, he’d tell me and he did. There’s no shame in going back to pull ups.

Waterproof cover over the duvet and on the sheet, then over the waterproof sheet put on a hygge waterproof pad- super soft and reusable. We have two so can in middle of night just lift wet one off and put on fresh and if duvet wet pull off cover quickly and put on another blanket to morning. We are still in pull ups here though so this is for the leak through- I’d encourage you to maybe use pull ups to save your sanity !

@TicTac80 Thank you for your post. I remember being given a huge row for mentioning periods when my dad or brother - don’t remember which - was within earshot.

Many years ago, when Blue Peter did their annual fundraiser for a specifuc charity, the chosen one was urinary incontinence. There was a lady describing what it was like in a child-appropriate way. It’s the only collection I remember.

It’s brilliant that we can talk about these things now. I didn’t know about medication when my children were young. I lined the mattresses with bin-bags. My mum had a huge rubber sheet under me. There were no night-time pullups, only very expensive adult incontinence pants.

As for periods, I grew up ashamed and embarrassed by them. Sitting exams with the only thought in my head being would I flood when I stood up. Never being allowed an aspirin for cramps. Ended up disgusted by and ashamed of my body for most of the rest of my life.

TG these attitudes seem prehistoric now. My dc and dgc speak so openly about all that, and I’m wuite envious.

We had a couple of washable bed protectors that were a life saver. But we have girls, probably not as effective with boys...

I feel for you. My child was very late to get the hormones and it was exhausting. Eventually (early teens) we saw a specialist who prescribed meds which were a game changer.
We tried alarms, but fundamentally they don’t create the hormones and in lots of cases like ours they didn’t solve the problem Although we had periods where we thought we had cracked it.
In hindsight I wish we’d seen the specialist earlier. Prior to this I’m ashamed to admit I did get cross and angry at times. He explained as others have said it is hormonal.
After this we bought really good duvets protectors and mattress covers so accidents could be dealt with relatively easily. She slept on a large good quality washable mat so on some occasions we could avoid changing the whole bed.
She wore pull up pants a lot and it meant we all got a good night sleep. Orange juice was a trigger. Look at diet - constipation is a huge contributing factor. ERIC website is super helpful. I can guarantee you are alone, but it’s not information people will volunteer about their child. I was open with friends and it was amazing how many would be going through similar.
I had actually forgotten we went through this, and reading your post brought back the memories. It WILL pass. Be kind to yourself and just do what makes life easiest for you all.
X

One further thing we were advised, was to make sure that DS was having large drinks during the day to increase his bladder capacity.

OP mentioned them being dry at Nana’s or when you're away. I had this too, and it was explained that the child was more relaxed and sleeping more deeply in his usual bed at home, and even when happy to be away with aunt or similar
, he wasn’t sleeping as deeply with different sounds snd smells around him.

My DD was 10 before she was reliable. Her DC (my DGC) were put on desmopressin and were on it until the hormone finally in. Just before puberty in their case. Pull-ups saved my sanity. I found the Dri-nites were the best.

edited to add that the dgc have waterproof mattresses. I thought they would be uncomfortable but having slept on one myself I was surprised at how comfy they are.

Sounds very tough. I know it would probably seem like a step backwards but I had my eldest in pull ups at night until he was 6 going on 7. He’s NT but just needed longer for the hormone to kick in. Whenever we tried to get him off the pull ups before that he would wet the bed several times a week. Would you consider that? Especially for your youngest, 4 is still relatively young to be dry at night.

Oh OP, I remember this phase very well, you must be shattered. My DS and DSS are a similar age. Both NT but both were bedwetters up to about age 10-12. I really beat myself up about it, until I actually stopped, thought about it and remembered that hormones do play a part in night time continence (I should have remembered that from the start as I'm an HCP!).

I will never forget one night around Xmas time. It was years ago and at a time that I didn't have a tumble drier (can you see where this is headed?). DSS was staying with us. DC2 was a baby (a very sicky baby!). I'd got ALL the laundry done and was all happy/chilling out in the evening. Boys went to bed. Everything was lovely and chilled. DS then came in to tell me he'd wet the bed. No problem, I changed it all (and I had plenty of clean spare bedlinen), and started a load in the washer. Then DSS had an accident. Ditto. They then each had a couple more accidents that night. And then - to top it all off - baby DC2 did a projectile vomit all over my (kingsize) bed and her cot at circa 4am. My flat ended up looking like a bomb site with all the laundry. I remember sitting in the living room, surrounded by laundry that I was desperately trying to dry, and crying my eyes out.

What I did:
-buy in loads more spare sets of sheets/bedlinen, buy in a load of kylie/draw sheets (you put on top of normal bedsheets to protect them, tuck down sides of mattress to hold in place), oh and more mattress protectors.
-I would layer up mattress with protector, then a normal sheet....then another protector and a normal sheet. Far easier to whip top layer off and then bed ready made already (and just add a Kylie sheet for extra security).
-buy in "night time pull up pants" for older kids (and get the kids to use them!).
-got on to the Eric website and bought an alarm for DC1.
-spoke to GP and he eventually prescribed desmopressin for DC1.
-explained to the boys that night wetting isn't their fault, that it is caused by a hormone that we ALL have, that needs to "switch on". And while we wait for our bodies to switch that hormone on, there are plenty of fab things we can use to make things easier and more comfy at night, so the boys can get better sleep (and feel confident/not blame themselves).

-oh and I bought a tumble drier!!

Also...with respect to people not really hearing about it 2-3 decades back...here is a thing about continence in general: it isn't talked about enough - not amongst older kids or adults (I've found). When I was young (and I'm mid 40s now), I never heard anyone talk about it. It used be seen as a shameful, babyish or dirty thing (probably that's why we didn't hear about it so much 20+ years ago!). Of course it would be talked about a bit within my work setting (I'm an HCP), but not amongst the public. Yes it is private, but then there is a very high prevalence of continence issues - a Matron once told me that 1 in 4 people have a continence problem (either occasionally or frequently)...and her telling me that made ME feel less alone - I have a hypertonic pelvic floor (which causes all sorts of issues with urinary incontinence), but it took me time to get (well, gain the confidence) it checked/assessed and then have things in place to manage this. When assessing patients, a lot would say that they had no toileting/continence issues (they were embarrassed) but then we would find out that they did. So I do think it needs to be talked about more, and recognised more. I remember asking a lady about continence and she cried because she had suffered for so long and blamed herself. I sat her down, we talked about options, she allowed me to refer/signpost her and give her info on how to manage it. I also told her about my issues (to make her feel like she wasn't alone with it). It did help her. So I now don't make my problem a secret. It happens, I know how to manage it and it happens to a lot of people.

Then again, I remember periods weren't really talked about, and then being a bit shocked (as a youngster!) at seeing period products being advertised. But really I think we all need to embrace these things, and talk about them more so we can get help and feel more empowered to manage them. Sorry...I went off on a tangent!!

haven’t rtft so apologies if already mentioned but when Ds went through this stage we used puppy mats, you can get a pack of 40 for around £5 in home bargains and they’re big!

Ds was about 9 when he stopped completely but was an early developer so I’m guessing the hormone kicked in quicker for him

Reusable incontinence pants and try the older one again in the summer when washing isn’t such an issue.

An alarm worked for my 8yr old who was soaking every single night, sometimes changing the bed and then doing it again same night. We tried everything else - mats / lifting vs not / drinking lots in the day and then cutting him off early. I’d given up hope and this was a last attempt as it felt cruel to know he was going to be woke in that way - the first night it went off and there was a patch of damp. The second night was completely dry and that was it - he’s only ever wet it once since and is now in high school. I couldn’t understand it but it’s worth trying!

4 year old is completely normal to still be wet, and so is 7, but at 7 you can get a referral to community enuresis if that’s something you’d want - it was very helpful for my DS - main reason for most kids if not the hormone is their liquid intake during the day to strengthen their bladder for overnight - they need to have enough liquid and then have long enough between wees in the day so their body gets used to holding it. Apparently if they’ve not had enough their body holds onto it more too. But I used nappies and bed pads before we were referred and it was sorted in a few months.

This is not unusual, the peapod mats are great.