Absolutely worn out, two bed wetters - please help!!

My nearly 6 year old son has just stopped nighttime bedwetting. What made the difference for us was looking into retained reflexes and engaging in a programme of treatment for this. Within two weeks of starting the brushwork treatment he was totally dry at night, having previously been wetting and using nappies every night.

As it was explained to us: whilst the hormonal aspect of nighttime dryness is important, if they have retained their moro reflex then anything stimulating their spine (pyjama bottoms, lying on their back) will stimulate their bladder.

Pull ups and then medication

DS9 has never yet been dry at night. We have been referred to the incontinence service and have to keep a 12 week input/output diary of drinks and wee before they'll suggest anything else. In the meantime, we have found nundies are good for night time wetting.

I’d recommend absolutely no squash or juice. Water only.

My 4 year old is still inconsistent but has been out of nappies day and night since 2.5 so it’s not an issue with toilet training….but similar to your DS has eczema that irritates his genitals so we only use a pull up on the odd night e.g in a hotel where we might be in the same bed and can’t easily change the sheet. I actually think his bed wetting comes from two things - when he’s congested (he has allergies) or when he’s very itchy so his sleep is disturbed. It’s these two things I’m trying to sort and I’m pretty confident that he wouldn’t wet the bed if sleeping well and normally. I think there’s lots of cases of bed wetting that are a symptom of something else - apparently mouth breathing and bed wetting are linked.

His sister who required no potty training at all and just switched to the toilet aged 2 wore pull ups at night until around 4.5.

My friend had issues with her 10yo and she said the alarm was brilliant

Also these pants for a bit of extra protection when you’re on holiday / sleepovers / school trips (my DC refused to wear pull-ups after age 6). shop.eric.org.uk/products/cheeky-wipes-childrens-pants-1

I know it’s exhausting for
you (sympathies, I know what it’s like) but remember that 4 and 7 is still very young. With my youngest DC it was only when they had a tonsillectomy that it resolved - aged 12.

I put a waterproof mattress protector (from IKEA) on my son's bed, a normal sheet, then a brolly sheet on top. The brolly sheet wraps under the mattress so it is less likely to move around in the night (or you can place it under the normal sheet). I bought sheets with pictures on that he would like, but you can also get adult side brolly sheets if your kids don't like the child ones, have a bigger bed, or you find they move around so much that you just need more coverage.

It doesn't mean you won't still be tired, as you'll still be woken up in the night and have to change, possibly wash, your child(ren); but at least if you can whip the brolly sheet off and put a new one on, it's quicker and easier than having to remake the entire bed.

Also, DS still wore pull ups at night. I don't know if or when he would have grown out of it naturally, but it only stopped when he developed a serious ilness at 7.

https://www.thenappylady.co.uk/brolly-sheets.html

@pandarific I think you need to shop around for different pull ups and maybe discuss a barrier cream with the gp. Then water proof the bed 😊

Highly recommend these mats - get 2 or 3 per child and they can change them themselves during the night. They wash brilliantly and were a game changer for us.

www.peapodmats.com

My DS, who is 10, still wets the bed. We were referred and given some things to do which do seem to have helped. Things like no drinks for 2 hours before bed, double voiding etc. The thing we use the most is getting him up when we go to bed, we don't go to bed until maybe 1am so get him up then to go for a wee and sometimes its surprising how much he can wee when we get him up.

Bet sheets which stop the bed getting wet are a godsend.

My 11 yo bewets all the time and my 3 yo is dry all night and has been since 2, so I don’t think it’s a something you can train. We use pull ups at night as otherwise the mess and cleaning is just too much.

Ah bless you. It is very hard. I would definitely try different brands of pull ups. My sons were also very tall and the only ones that worked the best was the Huggies Dry nights which goes up to aged 14. They are more expensive but Sainsbury's often have them on offer for half price.

Huggies Spider-Man bedtime pants (they come in age 4-7y and age 8-12y sizes) and Huggies stick-on drynites bed mats hugely decreased my laundry load. They’re in Tesco and on Amazon.
also speak to the charity ERIC if you haven’t already.(they advise not to lift children from sleep to do a wee)

Also lots of ND kids have sleep-wake phase disorder where they struggle with sleep transitions (getting to sleep/waking up) and sleep very heavily once they get to sleep which is also a factor. My 12 yo has slept through fire alarms!

this also means that their body clock can be different which in turns means their body functions don’t switch into sleep mode when they should

you can self refer to an enuresis clinic via the school nurse in many areas so start there.

cut out any red/purple food/drinks as riboflavin can irritate the bladder

drink lots during the day but nothing after dinner to help with bladder capacity and getting the bladder used to feeling full and knowing what to do

make the bed prep as easy as possible with layers of protective things

constipation can definitely be a factor

having a really solid bedtime routine to train the body for bed

and don’t do dream wees as that’s training the body NOT to wake up when you need a wee

2 ND kids here - youngest has been night dry since 3, the eldest still has occasional accidents at 12 (1-2 times a month, but sometimes months apart). The eldest has dyspraxia as well as autism with adhd traits and his brain-body connection has always been a challenge.

It’s very hard, use pads and plastic sheeting underneath the sheet, even use a thin quilt in between, there is nothing wrong with wearing a night pad/nappy though I know it’s not a regular thing.
Edit. I pee’d the bed as a child in the 80’s.

People just didn't discuss it back then. 7yr olds didn't go for sleepovers so how would you have known?

There absolutely were plenty of kids bedwetting back the just nobody talked about it, plastic /rubber sheets were used under bed sheets to protect mattresses and a whole load of kids were 'lifted' to go to the loo when their parents went up to bed at 11pm

DS (who has ADHD) was a bed wetter until he was 10 and I totally understand your frustration and exhaustion with it. We went to the GP, we tried everything on the ERIC website and none of it worked - limiting drinks before bed, getting him up to pee before we went to bed, alarms which didn't wake him, pull ups, no pull ups, you name it, we tried it.

What saved at least some of my labour was bed mats, which I used to buy in bulk from Amazon (not the expensive ones for kids - these ones were for adults). I'd put two of them across his bed to cover all the area that might get wet and if I was lucky then I just had to wash the sheet.

Then, at age 10, and truly at the end of my tether we went back to the GP and asked to try Desmopressin. He was on it for three months and that seemed to train his bladder, because when we took a two-week break over Christmas he was dry and he's been dry ever since. Hallelujah!

I don't know if they would do his size, but there used to be a product called peejamas, which are washable pyjama bottoms. They will be a lot more breathable than a pullup.

Not sure if it’s been said but I used to layer a waterproof sheet then bed sheet then waterproof and bed sheet. It mean when you get up you just need to whip off the top 2 layer

or kylies are great

@AuldWeegie I hear you. My lovely mum was born in the 1940's. Things like periods and continence were certainly NOT spoken about then. My poor mum could barely discuss periods with me. It was almost seen as shameful. I was too scared to talk to her when my periods started, and I learned about period products (like tampax) from friends and teen magazines (which friends bought - I wasn't allowed to have them). And that was periods....let alone continence issues.

We do need to talk about it more. I've met people who have been too scared to leave their homes, and plan/avoid routes because of continence problems. If talking about it more it makes kids and adults feel less rubbish about themselves, and less alone. If it stops parents somehow blaming themselves (when their kids aren't dry etc). If it helps to inform people and make them feel more empowered/confident to address and manage things...then talking about it can only be a good thing. :)

@FallowF your post was very interesting to me as we are nearly two months into using the alarm and finding it so exhausting. It's rare to see people say they used it for the full period and I have been getting very dispirited by all the posts saying it worked for their child in a week!

Have you sought a referral to paediatric incontinence specialists for your 7yo, OP? We have done that and finally at 8 our DD is seeing someone. Contrary to the "it's just hormonal" stuff you see a lot of, there are other factors and other things you can do. (Constipation, day-time drinking of sufficient fluids so the bladder learns to stretch, overactive bladder medication etc etc.) They are great IMO and even if there's a long wait it's worth seeing them. When mine were 4 they both wet and it didn't occur to me to be an issue tbh- pull-ups all the way!

If this is exhausting you then just put them in nappies at night. Your GP can prescribe them to you too if cost is an issue x