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AIBU?

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AIBU to be really pissed off about their behaviour at my graduation?

137 replies

Nodramalama85 · 22/01/2026 22:54

It's the day after my graduation. Five years of study completed. I didn't want to go, I knew it would be emotional and I'd find it overwhelming. I also knew my family would be a nightmare but they all insisted that they wanted to celebrate my achievements and go.

Initially, my parter was great, bought a new suit, cuff links with my intials, held an umbrella over us both to collect my gown. My eldest son, turns up 30 mins before we are due to leave hungover, no dress shoes, fine whatever. My partner lends him a suit. Crisis averted. Mum arrives all good.

After the ceremony they tell me how boring it was, how they almost fell asleep once I'd been on, how my mum had asked how long it had left every 5 minutes and got really arsey towards the end. She even became irrational in the queue to get into the venue. My partner spent the entire day reminding my mum that the day was not about her. We then go to the reception. My partner is being really spacey and monosyllabic, he had taken some tramadol for his headache. These tablets makes him drowsy and absent. My son was constantly complaining about his hangover and my mum just complained about everything all day. Apparently, she didn't enjoy the ceremony but is happy she saw me graduate. They all acted like miserable wankers at the reception. I couldn't introduce them to anyone at the university. It was just an horrendous experience, they didn't look like they wanted to be there at all. We ended up leaving early even though I'd bought the tickets and the venue had a bar. They only had to behave like normal people for about three and a half hours in total. I feel so hurt that I was pressured into doing something I didn't want to do and that they then went out of their way to ruin it.

AIBU - at least they came!
You are not being unreasonable WTF?!

OP posts:
JockTamsonsBairns · 22/01/2026 23:20

I'd be most pissed off with the partner, taking Tramadol for a headache. He must have known what the effects would be.
What does he normally take them for?

SlayBelle · 22/01/2026 23:19

Not the point, I know, but who the fuck takes Tramadol for a headache? That is one heck of a hardcore drug. Does he have a substance abuse problem?

MyBrightPeer · 22/01/2026 23:13

Not unreasonable to be disappointed. They all behaved poorly - even DP taking a tramadol for a headache ?! Did he not realise that he would completely knock him out? Congratulations on your graduation.

Lamelie · 22/01/2026 23:12

I’m so sorry. Nearly 40(!) years ago I graduated. I’d been in a car crash a few weeks before so my face was puffy and covered in some weird pancake make up, my dad couldn’t come and it was so massive I only knew 2 people- one a lovely friend who’d come alone because her dad was dying. It was a very flat sad day. And then last year I got my Masters. I took my mil who lives locally to the very bougie business school, it blew her mind- the string quartet, food and how she was treated like a Queen, she’s very elderly and was looked after when I was processing and queuing. I wore an fab dress and had a mortar board this time and great hair- I looked objectively better than I had looked in the initial photos.
I hope that doesn’t sound tone deaf! There will be other hopefully better similar occasions. My first DD’s we went all out and had family photos- so pleased as my the time the others graduated it was flat no bells and whistles covid.
💐

0hmydayzzzz · 22/01/2026 23:12

You are not being unreasonable. Your mother especially sounds utterly rude and unsupportive. Massive congratulations, it's an incredible achievement, you should be really proud of yourself x x

SarahAndQuack · 22/01/2026 23:11

I'd be really hurt too! It sounds as if your partner did his best (poor him having to constantly monitor your mum! No wonder he ended up with a headache). And I suppose your son is young. But your mother has no excuse!

I would be absolutely furious.

Graduation ceremonies are boring. I mean, they are. You want to go, you do it knowing you'll see 30 seconds of your beloved special person graduating, and then a long old slog of watching other people trudge across a stage. But this surely cannot have come as a surprise to your mum?!

If I were you I would leave it for tonight, then ask your partner to take you out for a special meal so the two of you can celebrate (and maybe commiserate about how awful your mother was!). Your mum should be ashamed of behaving like a rude child, though.

Huge congratulations on your achievement.

RueChercheMidi · 22/01/2026 23:11

Look, OP, you allowed yourself to be overruled when you didn’t want to go because you knew you’d find it overwhelming and your family would be a nightmare. And both those things happened. Next time trust your instincts.

BornSlippie · 22/01/2026 23:09

Your DP sounds nice but I’d be pissed off by dm and DS and I say that as someone who watched my mum become a priest and a bishop and that is such a long ceremony, think 4+ hours of Christianity in Welsh and Latin

DameOfThrones · 22/01/2026 23:08

I can't understand why they all insisted they wanted to go.

Have they never been to one before because let's face it, they are mind numbingly boring once the person you know has been and gone.

But they've only got themselves to blame for insisting they wanted to go, so they shouldn't have spoiled it.

Fortunately every graduation I've ever known have been limited to two tickets per person.

GoldbergVariations · 22/01/2026 23:06

Congratulations on graduating OP. That is what will serve you well and stay with you in the future, not their poor behaviour. I hope you get to meet some more pleasant people as you go through life. 🌹👩‍🎓

myfavouritemutant · 22/01/2026 23:05

I’m sorry op, it’s really disappointing that they couldn’t put the effort in to make it a positive day for you. It sounds like your dp was at least trying, but made a mistake by taking the painkillers. I’d be pissed off with your ds and dm though. Congratulations on your brilliant achievement.

Pinkladyapplepie · 22/01/2026 23:01

I didn't go to any of my graduations, not really my thing. I have been to 3 of my 4 kids graduations, yes I was proud but they were boring to be honest.We went out for food as a family afterwards and also got lovely photos but the main thing was my kids DID enjoy it, it was their time and I am sorry that you were unable to enjoy yours. Congratulations and I hope your future is everything you want it to be.💕

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