Am I in the wrong or is my partner?

What a dickhead

Op sorry you are going through this alone. Op your dh is a selfish manchild it’s not depression it’s worry and he’s acting like nothing is going on with you and your feelings he’s very disrespectful towards you and your mum. Has he got parents because imagine if the shoe was on the other foot you singing your head off it’s like saying fuck you im glad she’s ill its fucking disgusting behaviour tbh. I would be fuming you are not with a man who can offer you any support sympathy or empathy he’s really cold and heartless. It might not be his mum but it’s yours and unless he hated her guts he’s vile.

Sorry about your mum OP. That's joy normal and threats to leave as relationship are juvenile.

The singing is the least of it imo. Your partner sounds cruel. To send you messages threatening to break up with you over an argument when you're going through so much already is really putting the boot in when you're on the floor. He is taking advantage if your vulnerability and his belief that you need and want him around to excercise power over you. He's not a nice person.

Yeah this sums it up really.

What your housing/financial situation? Do you and DD have somewhere safe to go? Is she his child?

What a graceless, emotionally unintelligent boor (and bore) he sounds. Ugh, get rid of him. Luckily he suggested splitting up so all you need to do is say yes please!

So sorry about your mum and how you are feeling x

Best of luck, sounds like you deserve better! Let us know how you get on x

He is an absolute cock! Does he show emotional intelligence anywhere else in the relationship?
I couldn't be with someone so thoughtless... Sending you a big hug xx

Sorry your partner isn't capable of being more supportive at a time you need it.

At a time when you need him the most, this is his behaviour! As a PP said, when times are hard, people show their true colours. Get rid. Hope your mum is improving.

He sounds extremely strange.

First post nails it.

Apart from anything else that's happening, anyone singing football songs outside of an actual football stadium is a twat.

First post nails it.

Apart from anything else that's happening, anyone singing football songs outside of an actual football stadium is a that.

What an utter dickhead he is your not asking him to be depressed with you your asking for some empathy and compassion that’s not too much ask for. Are you 100% sure that you really need this knob in your life?

It seems like an odd daily ritual to pop on headphones and sing football anthems as an adult.
plus he really seems to lack empathy, recognition of your distress- or the situation that might cause distress. It s worrying that you might want to choose someone who could choose such disregard for your emotional state and your loved one’s status.
it s said too when someone shows you who they really are then believe them.
it s unlikely you will change him.

what made you choose to be with him and does it outweigh this behaviour so much that you could forgive it and resign yourself to a lifetime of this in similar scenarios.

or do you choose to have a partner who knows that emotional support an empathy goes two ways in a relationship ?

"He is an imbecile" nails it.
LTB

For comparison, I am currently seeing my ex in a FWB (friends with benefits - we hang out and do dating type stuff and have sex, but no commitment) situation - we aren't even exclusive and certainly not officially back together or anything. (Though I am starting to look more favourable on this as an option).

Through my dad's recent traumatic end of life journey he has been an absolute model of support. There every time I needed him, giving me lifts etc, collecting things from the shops, doing my laundry and washing up, anything to make my life that little bit easier so that I could focus all my energies on dad. And when not physically with me, checking in regularly by text or call, and told me I could call him any hour of the day and night (and meant it). At my worst moments he even cried with me (and this is not a sensitive man who is given to openly crying - pretty much first time I have seen him do so in fact).

If a FWB can do all this, how much more would one expect from a husband?

I mean, to give him the most massive benefit of the doubt imaginable, maybe to start with he didn't realise his singing would upset you. Some people can be dense about things like that.

BUT the minute you raised it, he should have shut up, and asked what he could do to help. Sit and listen?.Do some housework for you? Make you a cup of tea?

The fact that you felt obliged to leave the house AND he then persecuted you with cruel and manipulative voice notes, truly beggars belief.

Can you easily leave this man? If so I would make plans to do so. You would derive way more support and benefit from his absence than his presence at this point.

That’s dreadful OP, talk about kicking someone when they’re down. The singing during such a difficult time is bad enough, not checking in on you and now behaving like this when you dare to say something.
His behaviour is disgusting. What’s the point of this relationship? Our partners are supposed to live and care for us. What a cunt.

If someone I didn't know belonging to dh was as ill as that I'd be respectful of his mood. To be honest - we all have low days, and even if it's a random low day I'm respectful of his mood and won't go for a boogie around him.

Another awful man.
Hopefully you don’t have children with him and you can just leave.

What an insensitive prick 😡 you're not asking him to be depressed, you're asking him to show a little consideration for what you're going through. Honestly, it sounds like you'd be better off without him in your life! I hope your mum is improving 💐

I'm sorry about your mum OP.

Move / kick the BF out. Seriously, what a twat.

Before I even read your post, I knew he was going to be in the wrong. Reading your OP, he sounds like a little kid and you must have the ick.

Get rid. You need someone with more maturity, or to be single for a bit. Either choice is preferable to what you have now.