Cost of husband’s 40th party

You can be generous and loving and kind as well, you do realise this?

What a weird response. I'm sure OP will inform their neighbours of the plans and apologise for the noise in advance. Its a 40th party, so not something they're doing every weekend 🙄 If I was their neighbour, I'd hope for an invite and bring pudding and booze!

This kind of gave your situation away!

Oh my goodness. MN certainly highlights the them and us culture doesn't it?

It’s from your first post on here.

It genuinely sounds great, and a lot of fun, OP.
£50 per person isn't too bad, you're going to have plenty of food and drink and the inflatable nightclub sounds great! I'd never heard of that before.

This is what we mean about you being unkind. And (me) sanctimonious.

You can’t afford it, as your original post stated! Nothing to do with having the moral high ground at all!

How do you know what i can afford?

It's a question of values as far as i'm concerned.

Money and ostentation is not important compared to real things like love, caring and affection.

It wasn't a criticism, just a query! It sounds lovely, and 13 guests nice and intimate. I didn't realise registry offices cost so much! However, you had the wedding you wanted, which is the important thing. I suppose it's only £115 per head, and you had good food 👍 sounds great!

Why would she care what other people spend, or that 'you' think it's not necessary?

If they can afford it and makes her husband happy that's all that matters!

If that what is important in your life fair enough.
Spending huge amounts on birthday presents/ Christmas presents/ anniversary presents etc isn't a life style I embrace.
My feeling is it's the feelings and affection and love that is the important thing. Not the money spent and the ostentation and the razzamatazz

I'd probably DIY food / get friends to bring a plate. This would be way cheaper and just as much fun

But £50 per head sounds a reasonable price if its catered

The venue was my garden and house, though the cost included the registry office at an eye watering £440 for a simple ceremony with just 8 guests. It all added up when I included the flowers, tablecloth etc. We went overboard on the wine and had loads left over. Got the food from Waitrose Entertaining. I didn't think it was too bad actually.

it was my wedding. A pretty cheap wedding. But there will always be someone who wants to be a cunt and criticise!

You called her entitled and privileged, that’s unkind.

You did that because you can’t afford such things, that’s a you problem.

I don’t think anyone is saying that loving someone equals chucking money at them. But you must also be aware that people throw parties from time to time and for various reasons and those parties cost money. From the OP’s breakdown, it’s good value and not crazy money.

Lolz it’s a milestone birthday and a one off

my husband and I are spending thousands on a child free holiday for our 40th & 50th joint pressies to each other

we wouldn’t normally do something like this

but we wanna splash out and we saved for it and fuck it we deserve it

and the ops husband deserves his party

Your posts are very critical and antagonistic. Are you intentionally trying to derail this thread? Your posts are not in the spirit of the thread's OP. You didn't even answer her question - all you did is post your opposition.

When it has been pointed out to you, you post snarky replies. Don't hide behind MN guidelines. We can see you for what you are.

" unkind"???
To point out that the amount OP is spending is, in a lot of people's world, the amount she is spending on this birthday is excessive?
It is a fact.
In what world is that" unkind". What sort of world cushioned from reality do you not recognise that as a fact?
Why does stating that fact make me unkind, judgemental, envious etc etc. This thread is absolutely unbelievable.

I think it's a lot to spend on a party in your garden - but if you can afford it and it sounds like your DH will love it, why not?

No gifts? Nothing at all? That was mean of him

I think it sounds fab

im sad as my DH dodnt organise anythjng for me birthday and didn’t buy me a gift it’s so bloody sad

Your comment was not unremarkable, it was unkind!

All of you chill!

I needto know if the food @naavaaira is planning is already booked.

Stop the distractions! 😂

On a serious mote this is exactly how threads get off the rails and some posters know it very well.

Are you for real?

I made a comment about the amount of money OP is spending on this birthday.

And to give OP all credit she posted a very reasonable reply to me and the point I made.

Really what world do you live in that labels someone who made a very unremarkable comment as " bitter and judgemental" just because it is a different point of you from yours?

Oh my goodness no wonder Trump and Farage are having a field day.