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Original poster

Cost of husband’s 40th party

416 replies

naavaaira · 22/01/2026 16:23

Posting here for traffic.
I am organising a surprise party for my husband’s 40th. He is the kind who loves being centre of attention and would love the surprise! I have never ever organised a proper event like this so have no idea of average cost and your input would be appreciated. I’m looking to cater his favourite Turkish food, inflatable night club in the garden, alcohol, cake, nibbles, and other bits all coming to around £1200 for 16 adults and 8 kids. Does that sound average or a lot?

OP posts:
HelpMeUnpickThis · 22/01/2026 20:51

naavaaira · 22/01/2026 16:41

Monstrous thing made me chuckle! £550 for Turkish catering, £320 for inflatable night club, £70 cake, and the rest for alcohol, nibbles, plastic plates, decor and other bits

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For the night club (sounds fun) what are you doing re: music?

Original poster
naavaaira · 22/01/2026 20:51

Mumtobabyhavoc · 22/01/2026 20:43

@naavaaira How many alcoholic drinks per person are you budgeting for and what are you serving?

White wine, Gin, JD, vodka. I actually have no idea how much the guys will drink. Is a special occasion so I will probably get more than I anticipated

OP posts:
Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:50

jbm16 · 22/01/2026 20:44

Perhaps because she asked a valid question and all you could do was come back with a snidey comment about privilege and entitlement, then chose to assume that it was immoral, materialistic and not from a place of love or affection...

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It was an opinion.
It differs from other pp's opinion
But obviously the thread police are dictating that any opinion that doesnt coincide with theirs on this thread has to be shouted down.
My goodness. What price individual thought and ideas? They obviously count for nothing amongst the pp on this thread Lets all be sheep.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 22/01/2026 20:46

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:43

Actually I thought your reply to my original post was very reasonable and I wasn't arguing with you.

However some of the pp who have attacked me for posting a very innocuous comment are a different matter.

If we are talking nasty and judgemental and unpleasant then just look at the posts on this thread attacking me for posting my original comment.

You crack on OP and enjoy the occasion. But it's quite an eye opener reading some of the nasty jibes that my opinion has elicited from the pp on this thread.

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That's a good thing, then. 👏
Maybe you can reflect on how you come across and why you feel the need to rain on the parades of others, so to speak.

jbm16 · 22/01/2026 20:44

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:35

The title of the thread is Cost of husband’s 40th party

That is what my post was about. Why are you taking me to task because my answer was what the OP said the thread was about?

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Perhaps because she asked a valid question and all you could do was come back with a snidey comment about privilege and entitlement, then chose to assume that it was immoral, materialistic and not from a place of love or affection...

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:43

naavaaira · 22/01/2026 20:26

“Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection”

Thats a really unfair blanket statement to make. My husband works EXTREMELY hard, and like other posters have said it’s a special occasion, not every birthday, party or anniversary is like this. As I mentioned in my original post we have never done something like this before. Not that I need to explain myself.

I feel you are being judgemental.

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Actually I thought your reply to my original post was very reasonable and I wasn't arguing with you.

However some of the pp who have attacked me for posting a very innocuous comment are a different matter.

If we are talking nasty and judgemental and unpleasant then just look at the posts on this thread attacking me for posting my original comment.

You crack on OP and enjoy the occasion. But it's quite an eye opener reading some of the nasty jibes that my opinion has elicited from the pp on this thread.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 22/01/2026 20:43

@naavaaira How many alcoholic drinks per person are you budgeting for and what are you serving?

BlanketyBlankBlank · 22/01/2026 20:41

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:38

When you haven't got anything intelligent to say use an emoji.

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😆

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 22/01/2026 20:40

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:38

When you haven't got anything intelligent to say use an emoji.

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🤣🤣🤣

MNHQ
ClaraKMumsnet · 22/01/2026 20:38

Can we please stop the bunfighting and keep the conversation on topic? Thanks.

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:38

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 22/01/2026 20:32

🤣

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When you haven't got anything intelligent to say use an emoji.

KittyEckersley · 22/01/2026 20:36

I think it sounds like a great deal.

Not cheap but probably cheaper or about the same as hiring the local social club, mobile dj, buffet, cake and some money behind the bar. And, I’m sure if you were doing that people wouldn’t be saying it was extravagant.

I’m from a very working class background and that was fairly standard for a big birthday.

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:35

jbm16 · 22/01/2026 20:32

You seem to be focused on the amount of money, rather than the fact she is doing something nice for her husband, that she knows he will love with his friends and family, that to me is real love and affection.

And is really not that much money for a milestone birthday...

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The title of the thread is Cost of husband’s 40th party

That is what my post was about. Why are you taking me to task because my answer was what the OP said the thread was about?

jbm16 · 22/01/2026 20:32

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:19

My original post said nothing of the sort.

I said I couldnt envisage a world where spending this amount of money on a birthday would be considered normal.

Why you and other posters are making assumptions on my financial status is beyond me

If you really care about someone why do you need to spend unnecessary amounts of money on them? Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection.

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You seem to be focused on the amount of money, rather than the fact she is doing something nice for her husband, that she knows he will love with his friends and family, that to me is real love and affection.

And is really not that much money for a milestone birthday...

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 22/01/2026 20:32

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:26

Of course you can.

But as far as i'm concerned the "loving and kind" is the important thing.

I will hold my hands up to being anti materialism.
And admit to being egalitarian. And a socialist.

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🤣

user1473878824 · 22/01/2026 20:32

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:30

Sorry but what has that got to do with anything? Apart from you wishing to feed the agenda on this thread that i am consumed with envy and jealousy.

I find the natural acceptance of materialism on this thread extremely sad. As is the fact so many posters are trying to portray anti materialism as just envy and jealousy

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OP didn’t ask “should I spend this much”. She is treating her husband to a birthday party he deserves because she wants him to have a fun time with friends on an important birthday. And you’ve told her how horrible it is and that it’s not real love.

No one asked.

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:30

HavingABitOfAMare · 22/01/2026 20:26

Just out of curiosity, do you get invited to many parties yourself like? 👀

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Sorry but what has that got to do with anything? Apart from you wishing to feed the agenda on this thread that i am consumed with envy and jealousy.

I find the natural acceptance of materialism on this thread extremely sad. As is the fact so many posters are trying to portray anti materialism as just envy and jealousy

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 22/01/2026 20:29

Sounds cheap tbh.

Briegirl · 22/01/2026 20:26

user1473878824 · 22/01/2026 19:08

It’s a grand. Get a grip. What a very bitter response. Them and us? I’d say the majority of people can spend £50 a head on a 40th birthday.

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😂 maybe the majority of people you know.

Original poster
naavaaira · 22/01/2026 20:26

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:19

My original post said nothing of the sort.

I said I couldnt envisage a world where spending this amount of money on a birthday would be considered normal.

Why you and other posters are making assumptions on my financial status is beyond me

If you really care about someone why do you need to spend unnecessary amounts of money on them? Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection.

Edited
Show quote history

“Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection”

Thats a really unfair blanket statement to make. My husband works EXTREMELY hard, and like other posters have said it’s a special occasion, not every birthday, party or anniversary is like this. As I mentioned in my original post we have never done something like this before. Not that I need to explain myself.

I feel you are being judgemental.

OP posts:
BlanketyBlankBlank · 22/01/2026 20:26

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:19

My original post said nothing of the sort.

I said I couldnt envisage a world where spending this amount of money on a birthday would be considered normal.

Why you and other posters are making assumptions on my financial status is beyond me

If you really care about someone why do you need to spend unnecessary amounts of money on them? Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection.

Edited
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You said

Oh my goodness. MN certainly highlights the them and us culture doesn't it?

What did you mean if it wasn’t “that’s out of my league”

If you really love someone and you can afford it, why would you not share your wealth? Why is keeping your money to yourself such a good thing to do?
Why not be generous and enjoy your wealth together and making memories?

Are you saying OP doesn’t love her partner as much as you do, or she wouldn’t be going to this much effort and expense?

Odd view!

HavingABitOfAMare · 22/01/2026 20:26

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:13

How do you know what i can afford?

It's a question of values as far as i'm concerned.

Money and ostentation is not important compared to real things like love, caring and affection.

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Just out of curiosity, do you get invited to many parties yourself like? 👀

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:26

BlanketyBlankBlank · 22/01/2026 20:16

You can be generous and loving and kind as well, you do realise this?

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Of course you can.

But as far as i'm concerned the "loving and kind" is the important thing.

I will hold my hands up to being anti materialism.
And admit to being egalitarian. And a socialist.

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 20:19

BlanketyBlankBlank · 22/01/2026 20:13

You can’t afford it, as your original post stated! Nothing to do with having the moral high ground at all!

Show quote history

My original post said nothing of the sort.

I said I couldnt envisage a world where spending this amount of money on a birthday would be considered normal.

Why you and other posters are making assumptions on my financial status is beyond me

If you really care about someone why do you need to spend unnecessary amounts of money on them? Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection.

Livingthebestlife · 22/01/2026 20:17

That's a brilliant price. Yeah definitely more alcohol.

The inflatable nightclub sounds brilliant and so much fun.

For all you're getting it really is a great price, We've spent way more on less when hiring venues .