Changed for privacy reasons, plus minor fact modifications.
I'd like to preface by saying this isn't about the money.
I'm one of 5 siblings. 4 of us did wellish, finished uni, working, married/to be married, 2 of us have 2 DC each. My DB (only son), however, is a typical (NON-SEN, it was thoroughly investigated) never-do-well. Still lives in the family home, failed GCSEs because he was caught cheating, on benefits (ostensibly due to bad back and IBS at 27, but no investigations ever yielded anything palpable), can't hold onto any relationships because he's an utter AH. He made all of our lives miserable growing up, always in trouble at school, screaming the house down if things didn't go his way, kicking off on our graduations and weddings because he wasn't in the centre of attention. You get the picture.
DPs are getting old now. DM has early stage dementia, DF is in a remission for a cancer that is bound to come back. The question of care keeps popping up with increasing frequency. Thing is, although the 4 of us are employed, 2 of us are under mortgage and childcare costs and 2 are renters and in the lower rungs of career. Meanwhile, the property our brother is sitting on is worth over a million pound, due to a central position in an expensive city in UK. My parents live in a tiny rural cottage my mother inherited (because they couldn'tput up with DB a day longer), but it's full of stairs, nooks and crannies and old-age unsuitable.
We tried to have an adult conversation to sell the city house to fund the care, but DB kicked off how we're dumping him on the street and how us who are working should pay for it and he keeps the house. The suggestion that he moves in and cares for DPs in lieu of rent, is, of course, unacceptable. DP, as always, cower in rather than confront DB.
I had enough, said either DB gets his $#/+ together, gets a job and a flat etc. or I'm not wasting another minute or penny putting up with this. I have a family, job and an early immunological problem already on my plate.
Trouble is, getting my other siblings to sing from the same sheet is another story. I feel like crap bailing out, but he ruined first 25 years of my life with his behaviour, and he's not getting a minute more.