I need a sense of humour?

YANBU. That just sounds strange on her end, and I speak as someone with a weird sense of humour that people don’t always get.

Ah, you bumped into Mad Mandy from This Country, bad luck 😕

She's saying don't be sorry, you can't have known I was there (since you don't have x ray vision)
Bit of a weird way to say it, though.

Maybe she's got a thing about people that say sorry for no reason. It can feel a insincere when it's not warranted. I'd have said sorry in that situation too but I'm an over- apologiser

Not an unkind comment. A realistic comment. I come across many elderly people on a daily basis who I often think have a touch. Or more than a touch and can actually be rather rude or inappropriate. It can also present as a sharpness. Not realising that the woman wasn't understanding and then continuing on the same line again and again is what is described by the op. It lacks the social awareness that your joke has missed the mark. It's important to recognise it as sometimes you have to make allowances for people like this when they are rude, act slightly oddly or lack filter. I understood the exchange. How it was conducted was typical of an older person in the early stages. I'm sorry if you were offended by this, seems to have struck close to home. Have a nice evening.

When you get a bit older you realise that women constantly say sorry for just taking up space. In a clumsy way, she was pointing this out. Women naturally de-escalate every situation. It wouldn't do our grand/daughters any harm if we stopped it. Women are the biggest consumers, especially those with children. Men should be the ones moving out of our space and apologising, although they are getting better.

She's telling you you had nothing to apologise for. Neither you nor she have x ray vision to enable you to see through a closed lift door that the other was there, so the fact you were in each others way was no one's fault, so not apology worthy. It was clumsily phrased and not clear, but I think you were predisposed to assume she was being rude because she's an 'elderly lady' with a facial expression you read as 'unimpressed', and you assume she will be a stereotype if a rude intolerant older woman.

Stop saying sorry! She is funny, sounds like an Irish granny, you are just weird 🤣

It sounds like a friendly way of saying "Don't worry about it" up until the last sentence, which is a bit pass agg.

I wouldn't really classify the situation as needing a sense of humour, either; more a sense of proportion and of what does and doesn't really matter... but humour?!

Not a very nice comment. It was a very sharp quip so very unlikely dementia!

Anyway, the lady's small effort to make a bit of conversation and share a little joke to pass the day has clearly gone right over your head (the OP's and a few others on this thread!).

I assume to get out of the way of the door after pressing the button

I wouldn't worry about it. I would assume she had dementia and move on with my day. 😅

I wonder if we’re in the same area or if slightly terrifying lifts are just a standard feature in every branch.

Sounds like she’s either a bit socially clueless or she’s done the thing we’ve all probably done at some point of completely fucking up a casual social interaction because what you meant to say came entirely the wrong way.
Either way I wouldn’t linger on it or take it personally.

I’m guessing OP was moving backwards to give the woman space to get out the lift.

OP I think she started off trying to make a joke but then got annoyed that you didn’t get it hence why she became rude at the end. (I think most people would have been just as confused as you)

I know I’m confused too.

i want to know as well

They’re a strange lot in the M&S lifts I tell ya, when my son was a very small baby a lady took his dummy out in the lift and said he didn’t need it. She looked like the type to make a joke about x-ray vision to be fair.

I get what she was trying to say, but you don't really need xray vision to know that there was likely someone already in the lift that you have called.

Well, hence why Op was already moving back!

Was she like, Mary Poppins brusque? Is that what she was going for?

I think you may have met my mother in law.

Wasn't an especially funny joke tbh, when you've got a pram or pushchair the default is usually people tutting and moaning lol so you we're more than likely preempting that, especially if her face or body language didn't match the fact she was trying to be funny 😂😬

bit weird but she was only trying to say you didn't do anything wrong. Don't think about it!

It sounds odd, if she was making a joke why wasn't she smiling, laughing, having jokey body language?!

I mean it wasn't really very funny but most people when making jokey comments to strangers it's usually obvious by their delivery and manner.

The lift in my m&s seems to bring out the worst in everyone though. It has a mind of its own, makes terrifying screeching noises and seemingly traps people inside for several minutes. So it could be the vibe of the dodgy lift?!

I have Parkinson's Disease. We often lose facial expressions and vocal inflexions. She was trying to be humorous and saying you didn't need to apologise.