Who should have been responsible for baby in this situation?

You are being unreasonable. I’d be livid if my partner asked this of me when he was already going away.
If one of us is going out for the day we make sure we help the parent staying at home as much as possible before we go.
I had a night away in the summer, I washed my hair and packed the night before then did my make up quickly in the morning and went. The night away is already the treat 😂

apart from working and earning the money to pay the bills you mean? how dare he 😂

hard disagree on this being about a woman wanting free time. I genuinely think if this was the other way round - DH is going away for the weekend and demanding she gets up at the crack of dawn so that he can take his sweet time getting ready - then the votes would be way less even. It would be all ‘LTB’!

Mums have been minding babies on little sleep forever. A dad can do it for one day. We also don’t know if the late night was even necessary or just bad decision making on his part. Also, what difference would having the baby have made to the husband. The baby could stay in bed beside him while he rested or, like mums always here, he can sleep when the baby does.

I actually don’t bash men but I’ve seen enough relationships were women break their backs for their husbands and kids, and when they ask for one thing in return, like a quiet morning to get ready for a holiday, it’s met with resistance and and argument. This is not fair and we deserve better.

Sorry I think if he was looking after a 7 month baby alone for the rest of the weekend you should have let him have a lie in.

Could you not have done quite a bit of this last night and/ or done your make up on the train/ plane etc?

Sounds like neither of you actually like spending time with your baby.

If I was leaving my baby for a whole weekend (well, I wouldn't for starters), I'd want to spend the morning with her and get as much quality time in before leaving.

Your baby sounds like a chore to you, just another thing off the to-do list. Poor baby

I completely understand OP and don't think you are unreasonable at all. Maybe because I had a husband that said all the right things about taking time for myself etc, but really resented it when I actually did. You 'feel' that even when you actually follow through and it puts a damper on it.
He knew you were leaving. Whether people think it's reasonable to take that time getting ready, he KNEW you wanted to and I assume had plenty of notice of that. 5 hours sleep isn't the end of the world, we've all done it, some run on much less.
Where's the encouragement and support, the wanting to make this first, important weekend easy and enjoyable from the start. Don't listen to anyone telling you that leaving your baby is wrong, they're the weirdos, not you and clearly only want to make you feel worse. 😊
Like I said, I had a husband that, on the surface and to anyone else, "didn't mind" if I did things but was very clear that it was inconvenient. Actually, the last time it happened, I had a work conference and I could not go unless I arranged for the kids to stay with my parents.

I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

I was ready to be on your side but I think it’s unreasonable given the time he got in and that he’s having the baby all weekend. Also, if you’re anxious about leaving the baby wouldn’t you want the last few hours with the baby / getting everything ready for baby? I’m struggling to understand though as I couldn’t have left either of mine for a weekend at 5 months.

I think he sounds a bit selfish and obsessed with more work tbh. It's not like you are asking this every day! He has a family now to consider too not just himself. Some narky comments towards you on here. Hope you can sort things x

God, I miss the laughing emoji 😂

When she's away at the weekend I'd assume!

If DH expected me to look our baby while he got ready after I hadn’t slept much and was parenting baby alone for a couple of days I’d tell him to get lost!

I think you should say when you get back now that I know having baby shouldn’t stop you getting ready for the day even when it’s a one off like going away, I’ll be taking an hour long walk before you leave for work, you can prep and look after baby, it’s just your regular work day. And do that - he needs to treat you the way he expects to be treated.

If I’m going away for a weekend for the first time since having a baby, and my dh chooses to stay out till 2, im pretty fucking unimpressed. He was already booked to look after this baby, including while I get ready in the morning. So he sucks it up and parents.

Not being unreasonable. The problem in this world is the woman tearing down other woman for wanting her own time and the men get a free pass bcos he is a man and there is no expectations for them. Woman sleep 4hrs a night broken sleep, still get up at the crack of dawn, work a full time job, do the full time hrs in the house, do all the child minding and activities while the man gets to do what he wants and has a spat about having to get up early to look after their own kids. In my opinion, he should have gotten home earlier from work knowing your going away, he chose to stay out all night not you. You are ABSOLUTELY ENTITLED to your own morning especially when you got up and did absolutely everything anyway to make his morning easier. You woman saying she is being unreasonable need to wake up to yourselves and be ashamed or maybe look at your own relationships and see where things are going wrong if you think a mother is not entitled to her own time and a father gets off Scott free. Your the problem with why woman are burnt out and too afraid to reach out for help or feel ashamed for wanting more from their partners.

He’s not babysitting. He’s looking after his own child. Why does he get a chilled out morning? You’d done everything. He doesn’t do anything when he goes away and doesn’t come back until early morning.

He should have stepped up. His choice to work until thd middle of the night. You've done your bit.

100% YABU

A) What the heck is a recovering workaholic
B) It's Thursday and you are heading off for a weekend away from your 5 month baby? When did the weekend start on Thursday? You are getting 3/4 days away and you are frazzled because you demand more?
C) Presumably he's working to contribute towards the household and the baby? And will not be working for a few days since he's minding the baby... so yes it's understandable he might need to work late. I certainly always seem to be working late before a few days off.
D) He wasn't out drinking or socialising... he was working. Absolutely his extra few hours sleep are more important than you doing your hair and makeup. He is now minding a child (probably for the longest period he has) on a few measly hours sleep so you can enjoy a few nights away. Absolutely you're entitled to time off (personally I couldn't do it but that's not to say anything wrong with it so ignore anyone slamming that idea) but he's entitled to be as well rested as possible so he can parent to the best of his ability.
E) How did you get all the housework done in advance.... but yet you arent able to brush your hair, or have a coffee with the baby around?

I think you both need a serious discussion about what each party expects if the other. If you think he works too much but you still had a baby with him... how would you expect it to change?

Why can’t a mother go away for a weekend if the other parent is minding the child ? I find this attitude pretty wild.

I’d expect her DH to want to ‘soak up’ as much time with their son as she would, considering he probably sees far far less of him day to day. Did he really need to work so late or was he avoiding the alternative at home?
If someone would have offered me a weekend away at five months I’d have taken their hand off.
i’m with you OP. Have a lovely weekend.

He knew I wanted to have the morning to “prepare” myself mentally.

Prepare mentally?! This isn't a job interview or a presentation to the board of directors!

You don't need leisurely child-free time to do your hair and make-up in preparation for a leisurely child-free weekend of doing whatever you want!

Did he know before working so late that he would be responsible for baby while you got ready? mean, I don’t think yanbu for wanting some peace to get ready, but you needed to make your expectations clear eg
’DH, I don’t have to leave until 9 but I’d appreciate some time to get ready, finish packing, to look nice etc…. so you’ll need to look after baby once he wakes up, although I’ll feed him’.

Completely agree! And for those saying she shouldn’t be having a weekend away as baby is only five months - I mean ffs!!! Five weeks maybe but five months?!! Dear god. Are fathers not supposed to look after their own children?!

Personally I love having a break from my kids. And if it involves an overnight then all the better 😄

I really hope OP had an amazing and well deserved break! Sounds like the dad probably does naff all anyway if he’s a “workaholic”. Which to me sounds like he’s not flat out because otherwise the mortgage doesn’t get paid… More like chooses to be at work until silly o clock.

I was extrapolating info from the Op's posts, if i got it wrong then I'm sorry, certainly didn't intend making anything up. She gave the impression that he was working long hours needlessly, i thought that him coming home in the small hours knowing she was going away the next morning was a bad decision on his part.

Anyway can we move on now pls?