Who should have been responsible for baby in this situation?

Literally the next morning on her weekend away

Errm I'm sorry but you're definitely being unreasonable. You're already getting child free time. You have the baby whilst you get ready, let him have the chilled morning before solo parenting all weekend.

I mean that's just common sense is it not??

I am not sure it's getting off lightly if your wife doesn't trust you and refuse to let you spend time with your own baby.

Can you imagine the other way round?Your husband never letting you out of his sight if you were with the baby? It's insane.

You don't know any divorced couple who share custody? Honestly?

You don't know any widower?

And actually, you don't know any gay couple where 2 men raise a child?

How could that be a rarity? Even if it's not for days on end, when parents have several children, it's not always mum who stays with the baby and dad who goes with the older ones?

Of course it's not practical with new born when mums who try to establish breastfeeding, but that aside? I even had work colleagues who came to the office to show off their babies, mum was nowhere nearby.

gosh these men really do get off lightly don’t they. I don’t get why woman are nervous to leave their bay with their own father!?

I don’t know any solo male parents no. I think you are a rarity to know so many. Good for you.

You had children with the wrong man. If you don’t trust their father you should not have chosen him as a father.

that weekend morning lie in was about the only sleep I got, so yes I would, since I’m a human being and would fall apart without it.

are dads nervous when they leave their baby with their mother?

I know plenty of fathers who solo parents? I don't believe you don't know any, it's just doesn't fit your narrative for some very strange reasons.

I know a couple of widowers, sadly. I know men who had to solo parent when their wives were in hospital. I know many divorce couple who alternate 50/50, so when it's dad's turn... they solo parent.

More importantly, most dads I know look after their babies and kids on their own as needed - and I know because their wives go with me when we book weekends or trips away 😂

Women work, women work shifts, women travel. Who else than the dad look after the children when they are not at home?

I can see reading on this thread that some women refuse to be separated from their child ever, and it's their right, but I don't know people like that in real life.

@EspressoMachiato

It’s the weekend. He’s now finished work.

what exactly would you be worried about ?

Not a child, a baby and overnight for two or three nights with a workaholic father, not a child-centered one - I'd be nervous.

What fathers do you know who solo parent???? Just out of interest, I’d love to know a percentage of solo mums V solo dads!!!!! Hahah can probably vote who comes out on top!!!!

what double standard?

Who said that it was on YOU to work 60 hours a week AND deal with house and childcare? If you had a partner, it was on them. WHO has told you otherwise?

If you didn't have a partner, you must have had help of some kind, or how would you parent during the 60 hours you were at work?

I certainly didn’t get to have time off from parenting just because I was the worker. you must have had 60 hours off, unless you dragged the kids at work with you which sounds unlikely, what employer would allow that?

all the home stuff that men seem to check out of because they have something dangling between their legs! yours possibly, and you are clearly bitter about it, not the experience of most of us!

I am the wage earner in my family when kid was young. I certainly didn’t get to have time off from parenting just because I was the worker. Doing 60 hours a week and also all the home stuff that men seem to check out of because they have something dangling between their legs! It’s a complete double standard. Plus it sounds like this dude is a workaholic and won’t switch off. Walking into a heart attack at 50 from stress. There is no point in martyring yourself at work. If you have an accident and die on your way to work. Your employer will have job advertisements out by end of week or sooner.

He’s gonna have a big shock seeing how much needs to be done to run the home and sounds like everything is prepped as well.

It's MN

If a mum says she's tired to be solo parenting a baby for 4 days, she only get sympathy and people rant a her partner who should drop job/ career/ postings and whatever is doing

If a dad is solo parenting AND run his own business at the same time dares pointing out that it's not super practical to be in sole charge for 4 days while his partner goes away on a leisurely very long weekend with friends, he's a lazy waste of space

Love the double standards on this forum

Not if it was “a minute or two”
with mine. Yes if it was the time it takes to get ready to leave the house.

DS would stay longer than DD.

a full on weekend starting on THURSDAY!!!

I wonder how often the husband asks Op to look after the baby when he gets ready to go away or to go to work? I'm guessing never.

No need to read the posts when you can just make stuff up to blame the dad!

like the OP who has to spend a couple of hours with her baby leaving for a weekend with friends you mean? 😂

Wtf did he have a kid if he views a weekend with them as being "tied down" oh boohoo he has to look after a kid he created.

In our house, if someone is away, or going out for the evening etc, they usually do as much kid time as possible before (and after) to make sure the other person doesn’t feel overwhelmed right before they’re about to be a solo parent for a period of time. For example, if I’m heading out for the evening, I’ll play with the kids and be “on” for as long as possible until I need to go. Last night, my husband was going out and he played with them while I had a shower and stuff, and I took over their bedtime routine 5mins before he left.

You’ve got a long parenting road ahead. Communicate more about your needs, but also be as kind as possible to each other. Sounds like it was a tough situation because you wanted to get ready without distractions, but he was tired and about to have the baby for a whole weekend so probably deserved some extra sleep.

She never said he wasn't pulling his weight. She said he works a lot.

That's very different. You've just put words in her mouth to fit your narrative.

She says he’s a workaholic who promised to change when baby came but hasn’t. That is clearly someone not pulling their weight on the home and baby front.