Who should have been responsible for baby in this situation?

Yes this. If his business is the sort that requires late nights (e.g. emergency on call plumber) or has busy periods with hard deadlines (e.g. mortician) then op is unreasonable. If, (and I get the feeling this is the case from ops post) DH was working late because he wanted to or hadn't organised his time well despite knowing op was leaving early the next day then HE'S unreasonable.

He should have made an effort for you. It's as if he doesn't care about your weekend away?

You are being unreasonable. He got in late from work. If it was my DH I would have gone him a lie in.

Completely agree! (Although the baby's even younger, only 5 months.)

@Peachepan, it sounds like we are very, very different people with vastly different priorities, so what I'm about to say will probably carry absolutely zero weight with you. However, I think the reason you have got yourself into this state is that you know, in your heart of hearts, that it is too early to leave your baby, and you are masking it with the primping and the sniping. You are already suffering, and your baby will suffer when you leave and don't come back for two days. I think you've made the wrong call.

As for the actual arrangements this morning, a little communciation and planning in advance would have sorted that.

This is the equivalent of someone (my dh) going on a business trip with a lovely solo hotel room to sleep in and a nice flight to close his eyes and daring to tell me he’s tired.

OP, yabu. 20 min absolutely, 2h NO. I usually take 20-30 min to get ready for a day out with friends and apologize profusely to dh because I know he already has a solid 8h ahead.

In this one situation, waking him at 7am when he only came home at 1.45am, yabu. Easily could have let him sleep until 9am and still have time for you to be ready.
Him working lots and not pulling weight is deeper issue that needs addressed

I think neither of you were particularly reasonable in this story to be honest. If you’re away for the weekend then it doesn’t make sense not to make sure he has as much sleep as possible before being on his own - I’d say this in the reverse as well. My husband travelled for work a lot when we had wee ones and he’d always make sure everything was as relaxed and easy as possible before leaving - take responsibility the night before and the night of his return, etc.

Are you both working or is he working these crazy hours so that you can pay your mortgage and bills and whatnot? As that’s an unreasonable schedule as well.

Hope you have a lovely trip!

He’s taking the baby for the weekend

I am surprised you didn’t have some separation anxiety

Sorry but you are being ridiculous. You have the full weekend to yourself. You both need to pull together and communicate more effectively tbh.

I know what she means. To switch from taking care of baby, house and dog to being in the mindframe to go and have fun with your friends, especially when it involves an airport trip, for the first time in god knows how long. She's explained she gets frazzled and anxious, and is currently self-concious after having her first baby. She wanted to feel 'ready'. She's not wrong for that.

Better to secretly have fewer expectations ….and then be pleasantly surprised if he pulls it out of the bag.

WTF?

Yeah your DH needs to pull his weight more. He needs to prioritise the humans in his life, over his work (a discussion i frequently have with my DH!). It is soul destroying being a single parent within a marriage.

Guess OP doesn't work.
So DH works all week then has to get up on the weekend extra early so you can do your hair before going away for the weekend.

Not sure why you two had a kid... seems like you're not that into it.

I think your expectations of him were too high OP.
He thought he had a lie in as you weren’t leaving till later in the morning. If he only came in from work at 1.45, you could have given him an extra couple of hours to sleep to ensure he was well rested, especially if it was his first time in sole charge all weekend.

But it was your first time in this situation and you live and learn.
Of course, you probably ‘deserved’ a lot more understanding and effort from him but in my experience that leads to disappointment. Sad I know.

Better to secretly have fewer expectations ….and then be pleasantly surprised if he pulls it out of the bag.

You lost me at needing to “mentally prepare”
yabu

This!!
If my DH knew i was headed off on a much need w/e away then it wouldn't be a conversation - he'd be hanging out with the baby downstairs while i was upstairs getting ready. No matter what time he got home, because weekends away on our own with our own group of friends happen so rarely!

“He’s obviously not thrilled being tied down for a weekend”

He’s not being “tied down” he’s parenting his son for one weekend. If DH was already awake then I think it was fine to want a leisurely morning getting ready for your trip. You have already done him a favour preparing the house etc. I assume you do a lot of the parenting as it sounds like DH would rather not

To me if not be fussed with doing hair and makeup that early. It probably won't look all nice and neat and polished by the time you get to the airport so you may as well just do it there or on plane?

It sounds like there's more to it though and he hasn't historically pulled his weight when it comes to parenting. I just think this might not be the time to have a battle. It could set up your holiday in a negative manner.

I cannot see why.

Whatever the ins and outs of this particular situation (I think there are cases to be made on both sides), it's clear that he sees you as the 'default' parent. Probably something you both need to address. I've seen many new fathers suddenly 'have to' work long hours, so it's likely he'll go back to that, unless challenged.

He's a 'recovering workaholic' so addicted to work.

He would rather be at work than with his child. He deliberately worked far, far later than he needed to and expected to be able to lie in the next morning whilst his wife got herself and the baby up, fed, washed and dressed, sorted out the dog, cleared up the house and wanted half an hour to herself to get ready before leaving for her one weekend away.

And people think he's a saint for this? The bar is low here people.

The first part of your statement is utter shite!

Actually I think the circumstances do matter. Did he come home that late because he had to or because he chose to?

I think YABU in this instance. If you’re leaving such a young baby to go away tbh I’m quite surprised you wouldn’t want to have a last few hours with them before you go!

Is DH working as well as looking after the baby today?