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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

607 replies

Tiredboymum22 · 22/01/2026 13:31

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

OP posts:
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Jade3450 · 24/01/2026 08:25

Francine84 · 22/01/2026 13:39

All the research suggests that screen time has a detrimental effect on children. If you decide to give your children screens then that’s up to you, but those parents who choose to follow the advice and not give their young children screens are not “hysterical” as you say. Just choosing to parent differently to you.

Exactly this.

Luddite26 · 24/01/2026 08:22

Umbilicat · 23/01/2026 23:20

Historically there wasn’t empirical evidence that billiards was actually changing people’s thought patterns and destroying their concentration

Yes true but it was still seen as a disgrace of a no good pastime up until snooker was popularised on TV.

Adult use of screens should be scrutinised too. Funny that only last week I was listening to a podcast which is now going live on YouTube because that platform feels like it's losing out on podcast revenue and has missed a trick. As I've already said I believe adult use of screens in the home is just as damaging if not more so

Uhghg · 24/01/2026 08:19

I am a gamer and so are my DC.
I actively encourage screen time because it has amazing cognitive benefits, builds resilience and develops social skills etc.

Surgeons and pilots are encouraged to play video games because of the benefits it gives them.

I don’t buy into the hysteria that sitting too close to the TV gives you square eyes etc.

However, like anything it’s all about moderation.

Screens can affect sleep.
They can also reduce the amount of exercise and fresh air you get.
They can be addictive resulting in less sleep, fresh air, exercise etc.

I have also seen many ASD kids who’ve developed deformed wrists or spines because they’re sitting in 1 position too long.

I have seen many school refusers who are allowed to just game all day and that really makes me sad because that is purely lazy parenting.

Screens are fine and are actually really beneficial - if used correctly and in moderation.

Kidsgotothatschool · 24/01/2026 06:55

As for toddlers/preschoolers and screen time there have been increased issues with speech and language that have occurred on the back of increased screen time (along with other factors). It’s a HUGE concern and not just in deprived areas but across the social spectrum. I don’t know a teacher who isn’t concerned about the changes in children in the last ten years or so, we can’t put our fingers in our ears about this.

Kidsgotothatschool · 24/01/2026 06:50

For all the parents of older gamers who are successful adults, gaming HAS become more addictive and problematic. Just a quick google search will tell you that, I personally don’t want an addicted child hooked on dopamine hits. There is a big reason why many parents who work in the gaming industry seriously cut down the time their own children are on screens. They know the dangers and don’t allow their own children unfettered access, while we stick PS5’s/VRs/ipads in our children’s bedrooms and laugh when we haven’t seen our kids all day other than to request food, and I have spent MANY conversations with other parents along these lines.

And then we wonder why our children are struggling in school or becoming school refusers?

It’s bonkers!

Todayismyfavouriteday · 24/01/2026 04:05

Sorry, there is no excuse for giving a toddler (or any child, really) an iPad for hours. Perhaps some TV with a kiddy programme on, and then play- draw- Lego -puzzles. Research is right. Placing a screen in front of a child is more difficult than organising other kinds of entertainment, but that's life if you choose to be a mother. My son is fifteen and still gets very little screen time. I have to nudge him frequently, and I often end up playing dice/cards with him, even if I have other things to do. It's called parenting. My choice. I wish more people thought about such issues before falling pregnant.

TempestTost · 24/01/2026 01:01

echt · 23/01/2026 23:02

So how do you think people managed in the workplace who never encountered a computer or phone in their lives until, I'm thinking of teaching here, about twenty-two years ago for widespread use, i.e. in every classroom? Even then that did not mean a laptop to work from at home, no email, all phones and pigeonholes.

I do quite a lot of technology assistance in my job, and I have actually found that the younger people and teens are not particularly computer savvy overall. They are quite good at using phones, apps, and navigating social media. But they are poor at really understanding how computers work, they seem less likely than even people my age (50) were to know programming languages or have used them, and most struggle with finding good quality information online.

TempestTost · 24/01/2026 00:54

It really doesn't matter OP if you don't think you could cope, all the research is really clear that it's a serious problem.

There is also a lot of indirect research correlating the increased use of screens with a lot of very negative social issues.

I suspect in 50 years people will look back on current norms the way we look at people who let small kids smoke or drink alcohol.

People managed their kids before without screens. Part of that being, the kids developed a lot more capacity to entertain themselves earlier because they had to.

Bestfootforward11 · 24/01/2026 00:04

The book The anxiety generation by Jonathan Haidt is worth a read.

Waspalert · 23/01/2026 23:44

Lovetoplan2 · 23/01/2026 22:27

Agree it is nuts. Some kids really benefit from time online and most are able to self regulate. Computer skills learned are valuable in the workplace. It's crazy to prevent usage.

This is a ridiculous argument. Children learn computing skills at school - hours spent
on mind numbing, addictive computer games do not contribute significantly to
learning skills needed in the workplace.

Waspalert · 23/01/2026 23:39

Obviously it’s completely up to you how much screen time you give your children, but the research is clear and easily accessible. I have been teaching for 30 years and have noticed a huge increase in concentration problems in my Year One classes, especially over the last 10 years. The impact of too
much screen time is so obvious - it hinders communication, language development and social interaction among so many other things, but for some parents, an easy life is more important than these things.

Umbilicat · 23/01/2026 23:20

Historically there wasn’t empirical evidence that billiards was actually changing people’s thought patterns and destroying their concentration

Luddite26 · 23/01/2026 23:08

Umbilicat · 23/01/2026 15:57

As someone else said, this whataboutery is so repulsively disingenuous. If TV caused damage in Hawaii, then why can't tiny handsets spouting algorithmic nonsense designed to be addictive non-stop cause 1mx more damage? If adults are hooked on screens, surely we want to do better for our children? It's like saying well, adults all drink alcohol so why shouldn't kids? Do better/

Personally I do do better. I haven't had a TV for 12 years as it was full of mind numbing programmes like can't pay we will take it away and soaps.
I don't have any kids in my household stuck on screens when my own kids were young I only had BBC kids programmes on because other channels were drivel and full of adverts which were forerunners to YouTube now.
All I'm saying is historically everything that is being said has been said about other technology or pastimes. Even billiards was held up as a sign of a misspent youth. And personally I think adults screen time should be blamed for lack of school readiness. We now have a generation of kids whose parents have been way more interested in Facebook than potty training or actually speaking to anyone in their household. No idea what that is like but that's not whataboutery it's piss poor parenting.

echt · 23/01/2026 23:02

Lovetoplan2 · 23/01/2026 22:27

Agree it is nuts. Some kids really benefit from time online and most are able to self regulate. Computer skills learned are valuable in the workplace. It's crazy to prevent usage.

So how do you think people managed in the workplace who never encountered a computer or phone in their lives until, I'm thinking of teaching here, about twenty-two years ago for widespread use, i.e. in every classroom? Even then that did not mean a laptop to work from at home, no email, all phones and pigeonholes.

GloriousGiftBag · 23/01/2026 22:49

Lovetoplan2 · 23/01/2026 22:27

Agree it is nuts. Some kids really benefit from time online and most are able to self regulate. Computer skills learned are valuable in the workplace. It's crazy to prevent usage.

I don't buy that argument at all.

Everyone my age and older grew up with zero screen time as they didn't exist until we were adults. We are all in positions of seniority, responsibility and use multiple complex forms of tech multiple times a day. The fact that I spent 20+ years including my whole childhood and adolescence without screens has not in any way prevented me from learning and productively working almost exclusively in a digital environment.

Indeed, it is very much the late teens/early 20s crew who have grown up with screens that are struggling in the workplace - particularly with face to face contact, social skills, other soft skills and executive functioning.

CoffeeCoffeePlease · 23/01/2026 22:47

GloriousGiftBag · 22/01/2026 13:41

Multiple things can be true.

You can be truly having a hard time with difficult kids and a lack of meaningful support

AND

Screens can be detrimental to children's development, eyesight, concentration, language skills, sleep and behaviour.

Yes, 100%!

Lovetoplan2 · 23/01/2026 22:27

Agree it is nuts. Some kids really benefit from time online and most are able to self regulate. Computer skills learned are valuable in the workplace. It's crazy to prevent usage.

Pieceofpurplesky · 23/01/2026 22:01

EggyCustard · 22/01/2026 20:47

Is the conversation stuff really about screens though? A lot of that comes down to shyness or not wanting to engage with random adults. I’d be more concerned about them not being able to interact normally with peers.

Yes it does come down to screen. Watching the kids at break as well as lessons they cannot hold a conversation with teachers or peers.

CypressGrove · 23/01/2026 21:14

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 22/01/2026 13:33

We have 3 adult dc. 3 spent ages online gaming. All in great jobs, lovely wives, girlfriends, children.

It’s like Luddism. I totally agree with you.

These kind of responses are just not understanding the current issues. Did your DC go out on prams holding a tablet or a phone instead of being engaged in the real world? Did every cafe and restaurant visit involve sitting watching a phone or a tablet? Did they know how to turn a page in a paper book when they commenced school? As toddlers and pre-schoolers did they develop hand-eye coordination and use their imagination in real world play of blocks and role play etc or was it all screen-based play?

echt · 23/01/2026 21:03

Aghhhhhhhhhh · 23/01/2026 20:46

So they have screens then? Unless theres been a new way to watch the TV invented?

It is clear what @Pineapplewaves means.

Aghhhhhhhhhh · 23/01/2026 20:46

Pineapplewaves · 22/01/2026 13:49

My DC do not have screens, they watch TV, build Lego, do puzzles (physical ones and puzzle books), read books, play board games, ride bikes, play in the garden etc.

You are using screens as a lazy means of child care and babysitting, you could easily find them other things to do especially the toddler.

So they have screens then? Unless theres been a new way to watch the TV invented?

Sadworld23 · 23/01/2026 20:38

MyHazelReader · 22/01/2026 13:33

It's backed up by research of the numerous harms.

How do you think people coped before they could give their kid a screen? Yet they did and society didn't collapse.

Hrft but pretty sure my mom put us in front of the TV. It was a long time ago and I can recall us getting our first computer game. It was the tennis thing, basically 2 lines and a ball that bounced between. I never really moved on from that so I can't comment on gaming.

I'm no genius but I don't blame the TV or the computer games.
I'm sure you can have detrimental effects from most things many of us do. Screens included. My little boy loves Danny Go and they dance to it at parties, really gets involved. I have no problem with that.

Goldenbear · 23/01/2026 20:18

Goldenbear · 23/01/2026 20:17

I was going to say...I had a boyfriend as a mid teen who was constantly playing Tomb Raider with friends when I went to see him. He did skateboard as well but he was gaming a lot - watching him game, a bit of electric guitar playing to show off was almost as boring as watchinh him do skateboarding tricks?

Equally my DH now who is mid 40s recalls how all his friends used to go one friends house because the parents were at work and they could go on the PlayStation. A couple of them still play on the PS and other gaming devices.

They are all really successful if we are basing that on conventional definitions!

Goldenbear · 23/01/2026 20:17

ObladiObladah · 22/01/2026 13:47

Of course some of it is hysterical.

My db is ND and he was obsessed with his computer in the 90s. Gaming, coding, watching sports on TV til late at night.

He got really good at it. Did a degree in maths then an MSc in computing.

He now lives a fabulous life overseas and works in IT earning more than me and dh combined. He has two kids, has no major problems, just a normal guy.

So it isn’t always harmful.

I was going to say...I had a boyfriend as a mid teen who was constantly playing Tomb Raider with friends when I went to see him. He did skateboard as well but he was gaming a lot - watching him game, a bit of electric guitar playing to show off was almost as boring as watchinh him do skateboarding tricks?

Equally my DH now who is mid 40s recalls how all his friends used to go one friends house because the parents were at work and they could go on the PlayStation. A couple of them still play on the PS and other gaming devices.

thedramaQueen · 23/01/2026 20:09

zigazigaaaing · 23/01/2026 19:04

It’s science based research. It literally re wires children’s brains and destroys creative play. It’s also highly addictive.

The nuance is screen time quality. Watching horrible histories on iplayer is a lot different to watching unmonitored videos on you tube.

Yes it is science based, but more often than not it is correlational and there lies the problem - you cannot infer causation.

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