To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

No it isn't. That's a ridiculous blanket statement. Every child is different.

My youngest (now 14) autistic/learning disabled/ADHD impulsive profile) has had age appropriate access to an iPad since he was 5 - We set careful limits on content/apps/etc. All devices downstairs overnight and not after dinner but have never limited his usage outside of this.

The result seems to be that he uses it when he needs it and his usage changes depending on his regulation needs (eg will watch train announcements when he feels overloaded or old Peppa pig episodes) and looks for new content when he is interested in something. Or logs into his school accounts to catch up on some maths or English.

We have had no arguments over his usage at all (and he is now 14) - he will happily put it down to join in a family game, go for a walk, empty the dishwasher or engage in a creative activity) - he puts it down when he's had enough and heads off to find something else to do - or asks someone in the house to engage with him for something else - his access to his iPad has only ever been a positive thing for him.

He uses it to take photographs, to take videos of himself practising role play dialogues, to play with Google maps and street view and explore the world, to plan imaginary journeys or find out about trains all over the world. To watch videos of kids doing kid things (the ethics of that is a whole other discussion though) - sometimes he will flick through shorts quickly, other times he will watch the same video multiple times and can recite pretty much all the local train announcements.

He can access music and a wide range of audio books whenever he wants (given his reading skills are still developing this has been vital in terms of developing his literacy - literacy being a wide range of storytelling mediums not just the reading type which is a very myopic version of true literacy

It has given his access to 'social currency' in the form of train information to bond with peers and also wider cultural trends eg kpop demon hunters - which gives him a point to connect with others away from the screen. He has learned the foundations for basic coding, how to plan journeys across London, make a photo book with Canva, digitally manipulate photographs and even basic password management.

We have recently given him limited access to a mobile phone to teach him how to use it - again with strict parental controls on times - and after an initial period of over indulgence - he has settled into a pattern where he self regulated his usage and the checking of messages etc.

His use of 'screens' has only ever been a positive for him

I think there is hysteria over TV, we watched TV in the 90's and it didnt cause lasting damage. But I dont like tablets. As someome who myself is prone to becoming addicted to video games I know how much that sort of device can take over your brain.

Absolutely.

(And absolutely to your post above too but I can only quote 1 post).

Sorry for the typos- can’t find my glasses!

Depends on the screen time. A bit of tv is fine. Games like Roblox are brain rotting, concentration rotting rubbish and no young child should be playing them.

I was a kid over thirty years ago and it’s a bit of a myth that we were all running free in packs. I went round to neighbours and we did okay out but timings were strict and we were mostly in mine or the neighbours garden. What I actually do was spend enormous times with both parents and grew up garnering with them, shopping with them, going to church with them, going to work with them on days when I was off and they weren’t, going to their friends with them and doing jobs with them - all sorts from spraying weedkiller, mixing window putty to polishing the woodwork. And while we’re were doing all this we were chatting away.

“How do you think people coped before they could give their kid a screen?”

All the research shows that parents, including mothers, spent far less time each day with their kids 30+ years ago than now. There wasn’t the expectation to be your kids entertainer back then. So if they were 6 or older you’d throw them outdoors for the day or expect them to get on with their own fun and leave you alone to do the chores. Younger than that? Play pen. Nowadays you’re a bad parent if you’re not sat playing board games with them all day, but in reality this was not the norm in the old days.

clearly it can be helpful particularly if a child has neurodiversity

This is where so many people go wrong. Using screens is the WORST thing you can do for a neurodiverse child.

The point is, of course children fight and argue. But if they are put in front of a screen to stop this they never learn vital social skills like compromise, arguing, advocating, making up, discussing etc.

How are you teaching your kids life skills if they’re on a screen to prevent any kind of conflict?

I would regularly have to mediate whilst cooking dinner/trying to get ready etc, but that’s part of being a parent.

Honestly, if you aren’t prepared to do this then don’t have kids. It’s part of raising children, you’re responsible for their wellbeing and for raising them to be good adults.

A lot of online spaces are unsafe for children and ND children are far more at risk of exploitation online. I appreciate what you say about the need for kids to be tech literate, but there is a big difference between kids learning computing skills and social media.

We had to remove DS2's smartphone a couple of years ago because he was talking to strangers online despite multiple attempts by us to educate him about the dangers and his sports club's online safety sessions, he still did it, because ADHD and impulse control. I'm ashamed to say that he also participated in online bullying of a girl in his year, which although we know he did under peer pressure we came down very hard on. He is 16 now and has a smartphone again, but despite his age there are strict conditions on it because his ADHD means he is more prone to dopamine chasing and his autism can make him believe what people say without questioning.

We also sadly had many, many ND kids come through CAMHS who had been groomed online while their parents thought it was all safe and harmless.

Be very careful with ND kiddos and online socialising.

It's youre life if its causing issues you can do something i think social media is the problem with kids

Still, have you got any evidence to back up that most bad behaviour is caused by moderate use of screens these days, compared to in the past when it was just siblings fighting?

It's a very big claim if there's not actually anything backing it up.

Some bad behaviour, sure. Most? Unlikely to be just screen related.

Colloquial use of 90%. It means "a lot of" or "most".

Thinking about this in Aldi last night - there was a boy of about five sat in the trolley, eyes glued to a cartoon all the way round the shop. It is just a snap shot but actually the whole screen thing is so overly indulged . It is so poor compared to the alternative - chatting, reading labels, counting, fetching and learning to be quiet and to behave and to wait a minute. Both were missing out and sure it could have been a random fifteen mins and he went home and helped unpack and put away then helped lay the table or chop some veg but I bet he went and sat alone while his mum did that. I think we tolerate phone and iPads with games and scrolling content way too much. A bit of watching is no bigger than issue but the endless pacification as nd disengagement from live and chat is appalling.

Please can you quote your source for the 90% figure because that seems high.

Kids have always behaved badly. Blaming screens for 90% of it seems like a bit of a cop out.

There's obviously a correlation between too much screen time and some problems in children. I'd be very surprised to see a study that proves that moderate screen time for educational or downtime purposes is causing 90% of behavioural problems in children.

90% of the time, screens are the reason for behaviour, particularly angry/aggressive/unregulated behaviour.

That doesn't mean siblings never fought before the iPad was invented. Siblings have fought since the dawn of time.

The two things are not mutually exclusive.

How on earth is that what you took from that!?

This was in response to someone saying that screens were the reason kids behaved badly. I was pointing out kids behaved badly before screens were a thing.

Please learn to read. There's some useful apps on tablets for that 😜

So screens are to stop kids nearky killing each other!

No, it's not.

My MIL tells us stories constantly about how her three boys would regularly have "silent fights" so she couldn't hear them. And the occasions where one of them nearly killed another.

The eldest of them is 50 this year so clearly didn't grow up with screens like they are these days.

My mum and her brother would fight constantly. Also no screens and barely any TV as they grew up very poor.

DD has screen time, not constantly and the type is monitored (because of content on things like YouTube, so she's not allowed that and so on). She's delightful. She can entertain herself beautifully. She helps me cook, we're outside a lot, she reads/is read to. She mostly loves to paint.

The tablet is a really useful tool for her to learn things like her numbers, letters etc and has some games that she loves which will mean if I really need ten minutes (toilet or shower maybe), she's happily settled in the corner of the sofa while I do this.

Screens are not the root of all evil in kids. Like most things, too much can be bad, but some can be good.

They absolutely can play nice but the witching hour after a full day at school and nursery they struggle to and that’s when I have to cook, plate up and serve the dinner. So that’s when we have our screen time. Then screens go away and dinner is eaten and there aren’t screens before bed. It’s about a balance not making your life harder because you are terrified that an hour of screen time will developmentally destroy your children

Honestly, you’d think I’d said I tie them up in the basement 🙄

Some screen time clearly isn’t an issue. Reading some of the comments like not being able to cook/clean/calm/do anything unless their child is on a screen can be where the problem starts. Kids can become reliant on it. Then they expect it and often parents are oblivious to the amount of time it’s being used. You look around and some kids need it at restaurants or they can’t finish a meal, clearly it can be helpful particularly if a child has neurodiversity but for many it’s that reduced ability to be with their family and enjoy that social interaction. Once they hit teens they need it for social activities and it we are being honest kids get phones a lot younger because we want to keep them safe. Yet I walk down the street and see so many walking with their eyes glued to a screen. They don’t look for cars or people and their awareness is gone. Then it leads to the apps where people bully, parents often are clueless about what their child is accessing on line and kids think their lives need to be lived through likes and videos on social media, posting their most vulnerable moments for the world to judge, which we do and sometimes unkindly. They watch content where people can say what they want and regardless of the danger that could be there or the brainwashing involved (like toxic masculinity) they believe it wholeheartedly because that’s what they saw on the screen. So yeah screens aren’t a problem generally but that innocent screen time can and does turn into something far more complex.

You are thinking of yourself and not your kids.

This is very true and very interesting.

The single parent card is ridiculous. I was a single parent to 3DC ages 9, 6 and 3. One has AuDHD. Worked almost full time.

I cooked, tidied and did everything else without resorting to screens.

You do realise the reason they can’t play nicely and amuse themselves is BECAUSE of the screen time?

I understand that the old way has worked for you which is great. However our children live in a different world. Just to get a job post uni for many careers means endless online testing before making an interview. I strongly believe that greater familiarity with screens, keyboards and online applications has helped those who have this experience to progress. Of course when they go to work they will learn new skills as you have done but I believe pre-existing online skills can give them early confidence and lead to faster development. From my own experience, I am not convinced that spending time online adversely affects social skills, in fact it can provide a safe space for those with for example ADHD to engage with others. I am sure there are some examples of issues online affecting children badly but there are also issues on the streets. I am concerned that we blame going online for everything and we then take draconian action which will have a negative effect. To be honest that fact that we managed it without computers is not really a fair comparison with the world our children are in now.