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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

607 replies

Tiredboymum22 · 22/01/2026 13:31

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

OP posts:
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11
DemelzaandRoss · 26/01/2026 17:44

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 22/01/2026 13:33

We have 3 adult dc. 3 spent ages online gaming. All in great jobs, lovely wives, girlfriends, children.

It’s like Luddism. I totally agree with you.

Completely agree.
All DC gamed, had phones.
Now adults & nothing strange has happened to them!

JonesTown · 26/01/2026 17:36

I agree. However, I don't think it's helpful to conflate all 'screen time' (hate that phrase!) together.

There is a big difference between watching a high-quality TV series or film and mindlessly scrolling crap on TikTok. One develops concentration and focus skills and the other is rotting attention spans.

It's the same with the whole nonsensical hysteria around smartphones. They are just a tool- and can be used for good and bad.

Jade3450 · 26/01/2026 17:06

Givemeachaitealatte · 26/01/2026 15:47

I'm curious, did you work full time? Have children with SEN? If so, I tip my hat to you.

I have two ND kids and I am ND too, I work full time in a very stressful job, I'm a single parent and absolutely not a chance I could cook a meal from scratch that both of the kids would eat, while they sat colouring at the table. It just wouldn't happen, not for lack of trying - since they were toddlers I enforced quiet time, play time etc. but unfortunately their brains do not work like that.

I worked 3.5 days a week. One child with AuDHD, although they were actually my easiest in terms of getting absorbed in something while I cooked etc.

Now they are older I am so glad I didn’t give them a screen. It would have made everything so much harder.

What I can’t get my head around is that parents who give their children screens to keep them quiet are making their lives so much harder in the long run. It’s utterly daft.

trappedCatAsleepOnMe · 26/01/2026 16:48

Lmnop22 · 26/01/2026 15:42

Of course. And then the dog will mow the lawn whilst my two year old washes up!

I did often get the kids to help with cooking - but some meals hot fat and boiling water and clingy kids round feet are a hazard and some days everyone just too tried.

20-30 minutes in front of alpha blocks while you get something hard to do round kids done quickly so the rest of the day can be focused round them seemed then and seems now a good trade off.

It's very different to 10-12 hours in front of midless drivel on a screen as soon as kids can open their eyes which TBH I'd class as neglect. That's why many of us think there a huge amount of nuance being lost in this debate.

I think OP you just have to ignore the negativity and get on and do the best you can - same with most aspects of parenting.

Redpeach · 26/01/2026 16:20

Tiredboymum22 · 25/01/2026 22:23

My kids probably do have too much screen time but I’m very selective about what they watch.

My eldest son can only watch DVDs on his TV. It’s not a smart TV, he has no unsupervised access to YouTube or TikTok or anything like that.

We have a spare phone that’s used as a tablet. I’ve uninstalled TikTok and YouTube. He can’t use an internet browser. All he does is make silly videos (that he can’t share) and play things like Bluey or dinosaur games. There’s no SIM card in it. He also plays Minecraft on his switch but he doesn’t have it before bed or after waking up at half 4 in the morning.

As for the family TV… it’s usually CBeebies. I understand what people are saying, but I just want to reiterate that not every child with a tablet or phone is watching brain rot on TikTok or engaging with social media. I don’t even allow my 2-year-old to watch Cocomelon.

6 years old is young for a switch

unbelievablybelievable · 26/01/2026 16:04

Givemeachaitealatte · 26/01/2026 15:47

I'm curious, did you work full time? Have children with SEN? If so, I tip my hat to you.

I have two ND kids and I am ND too, I work full time in a very stressful job, I'm a single parent and absolutely not a chance I could cook a meal from scratch that both of the kids would eat, while they sat colouring at the table. It just wouldn't happen, not for lack of trying - since they were toddlers I enforced quiet time, play time etc. but unfortunately their brains do not work like that.

I did. I worked 60 hours weeks, 3 children, 2 of them ND (1 severe) and DH often worked away for weeks at a time. The only way I managed was to get them to help. Bought a toddler set of knives so they could chop. They washed veg, stirred the pots, got ingredients out for me....

As babies id sit them on the floor with a pot, a potato and a wooden spoon and they had a whale of a time!

It really isn't a big task to get them to help. Loads of parents do it day in, day out. And as a bonus, you end up with kids that can cook so you don't have to do it every evening!

Givemeachaitealatte · 26/01/2026 15:48

Lmnop22 · 26/01/2026 15:42

Of course. And then the dog will mow the lawn whilst my two year old washes up!

🤣 and the cats will do the sewing/patchwork in front of the roaring fire, regaling us of adventures in the wild.

Givemeachaitealatte · 26/01/2026 15:47

Jade3450 · 26/01/2026 10:43

OMG, it’s really not that hard.

A home cooked nutritious meal takes half an hour.

My kids played while I made dinner, or sat at the table doing colouring or a puzzle so they could also talk to me. When they were babies they sat in a high chair next to me watching me cook and I talked to them.

If they cried or whinged then they just had to while I was busy. It’s really not that hard.

Oh, and I was a single parent of three under ten and this isn’t even that long ago so screens were available - we just didn’t use them.

I honestly don’t know why people think this is so impossible.

I'm curious, did you work full time? Have children with SEN? If so, I tip my hat to you.

I have two ND kids and I am ND too, I work full time in a very stressful job, I'm a single parent and absolutely not a chance I could cook a meal from scratch that both of the kids would eat, while they sat colouring at the table. It just wouldn't happen, not for lack of trying - since they were toddlers I enforced quiet time, play time etc. but unfortunately their brains do not work like that.

Lmnop22 · 26/01/2026 15:42

myglowupera · 26/01/2026 08:44

Didn’t you know you’re supposed to do BOTH?!
Both the nutritious dinner and them have no screen time. Just get the kids to help you cook. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Of course. And then the dog will mow the lawn whilst my two year old washes up!

Yopoy · 26/01/2026 14:40

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 14:01

Well @Yopoy she never laid a finger on me when she could plonk me in front of Spiderman cartoons and Tiswas.

Well, there's the definitive proof we've all been waiting for. Thank goodness that's settled.

unbelievablybelievable · 26/01/2026 14:40

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 14:01

Well @Yopoy she never laid a finger on me when she could plonk me in front of Spiderman cartoons and Tiswas.

So... It's ok to plonk a child in front of a screen because otherwise we'd all be battering our children???

Or... people could actually try to be decent human beings and not only not abuse their children, but also try to do what's best for them and interact/talk/play with them!

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 26/01/2026 14:19

Tiredboymum22 · 25/01/2026 22:23

My kids probably do have too much screen time but I’m very selective about what they watch.

My eldest son can only watch DVDs on his TV. It’s not a smart TV, he has no unsupervised access to YouTube or TikTok or anything like that.

We have a spare phone that’s used as a tablet. I’ve uninstalled TikTok and YouTube. He can’t use an internet browser. All he does is make silly videos (that he can’t share) and play things like Bluey or dinosaur games. There’s no SIM card in it. He also plays Minecraft on his switch but he doesn’t have it before bed or after waking up at half 4 in the morning.

As for the family TV… it’s usually CBeebies. I understand what people are saying, but I just want to reiterate that not every child with a tablet or phone is watching brain rot on TikTok or engaging with social media. I don’t even allow my 2-year-old to watch Cocomelon.

My son loved educational programmes like Blaze and the Monster Machines and Alpha/number blocks

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 14:01

Well @Yopoy she never laid a finger on me when she could plonk me in front of Spiderman cartoons and Tiswas.

Yopoy · 26/01/2026 13:20

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 10:41

Pre TV screens. And the thread is about a mother coping with home life and whether her kids have too long on screens or how would she get her jobs done otherwise.

Yeah, it's still completely unrelated to screens.

The lack of screens is completely irrelevant to your grandmother's behaviour - she wouldn't have been a model parent had she had a TV or iPad to help her out.

Jade3450 · 26/01/2026 10:43

myglowupera · 26/01/2026 08:44

Didn’t you know you’re supposed to do BOTH?!
Both the nutritious dinner and them have no screen time. Just get the kids to help you cook. 🤷🏼‍♀️

OMG, it’s really not that hard.

A home cooked nutritious meal takes half an hour.

My kids played while I made dinner, or sat at the table doing colouring or a puzzle so they could also talk to me. When they were babies they sat in a high chair next to me watching me cook and I talked to them.

If they cried or whinged then they just had to while I was busy. It’s really not that hard.

Oh, and I was a single parent of three under ten and this isn’t even that long ago so screens were available - we just didn’t use them.

I honestly don’t know why people think this is so impossible.

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 10:41

Yopoy · 26/01/2026 09:41

It's completely unrelated to screens.

Pre TV screens. And the thread is about a mother coping with home life and whether her kids have too long on screens or how would she get her jobs done otherwise.

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 10:39

Nevermind17 · 26/01/2026 08:29

You could use the argument that kids didn’t have time for screens as they were too busy working in the mill or down the pit.

I had my children in the 90s/early 00s. I didn’t smack them. They weren’t sent out to play. They weren’t left alone, and they never had to ‘watch’ their siblings. I worked full-time, even when I became a single mother when my youngest was 2 years old. Our life wasn’t so different to life now, except there were no tablets or smart phones. It’s not impossible. More difficult maybe, but not impossible.

Yes you could say that it is all the evolution of technology.

Randomlygeneratedname · 26/01/2026 10:10

MiddleAgedDread · 22/01/2026 13:36

he wouldn't be obsessed with minecraft if he hadn't been introduced to it on a screen.....

My son was introduced to Minecraft at school by friends and encouraged by teachers. He is completely obsessed with it and doesn't even have the game.

Yopoy · 26/01/2026 09:41

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 08:17

Just saying what some mum's did before plonking in front of screens.

It's completely unrelated to screens.

unbelievablybelievable · 26/01/2026 09:20

myglowupera · 26/01/2026 08:44

Didn’t you know you’re supposed to do BOTH?!
Both the nutritious dinner and them have no screen time. Just get the kids to help you cook. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It's shocking that letting your children help make dinner is somehow a novel idea. How do you learn to cook if not at home helping your parents?

myglowupera · 26/01/2026 08:44

Lmnop22 · 22/01/2026 13:36

I so agree with you. If I didn’t give my 6 and 2 year olds screen time as a single mother, I couldn’t cook dinner at all because there’s zero chance they would play nicely with toys together alone or help me cook.

Obviously there are limits but an hour of screen time so dinner can get cooked is so much better, in my opinion, than an easy oven cooked UPF dinner of pizza/nuggets etc because I am trying to mediate arguments or let my 2 year old “help”

Didn’t you know you’re supposed to do BOTH?!
Both the nutritious dinner and them have no screen time. Just get the kids to help you cook. 🤷🏼‍♀️

MumOfTeens6789012 · 26/01/2026 08:33

Watch “The Social Dilemma” on Netflix and you’ll think differently. Both my teenagers have phones but we have parental controls and screen time so phones don’t interrupt at bedtime. I still think they are on them way too much though, especially my DD13 who seems obsessed with TikTok scrolling.

Nevermind17 · 26/01/2026 08:29

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 08:17

Just saying what some mum's did before plonking in front of screens.

You could use the argument that kids didn’t have time for screens as they were too busy working in the mill or down the pit.

I had my children in the 90s/early 00s. I didn’t smack them. They weren’t sent out to play. They weren’t left alone, and they never had to ‘watch’ their siblings. I worked full-time, even when I became a single mother when my youngest was 2 years old. Our life wasn’t so different to life now, except there were no tablets or smart phones. It’s not impossible. More difficult maybe, but not impossible.

Luddite26 · 26/01/2026 08:17

Yopoy · 26/01/2026 07:20

Absolutely none of this has anything to do with screen time, or lack of it.

Just saying what some mum's did before plonking in front of screens.

Yopoy · 26/01/2026 07:20

Luddite26 · 25/01/2026 21:02

I suppose my gran was a prescreen mum as they like many others bought there first TV in 1953 when my mum was 6. Well her way of keeping her two DDS in order while she worked, cleaned, cooked saw to elderly relatives well she would turf them out for the day roaming about and when they were silly and giggly she would smack their legs with a wooden panel. When my mum was disobedient and wouldn't eat her meat , well gristle as my grandad got all the meat she would get her arm twisted round her back till she ate it or gagged then maybe have those 'screaming ab dabs' a pp mentioned then she'd get smacked and sent to bed till the next day. Then it would start again. When my Grandma had to take my mum to school she would leave her youngest DD at home alone twice a day as it was too much faffing about to take her too. When visitors came my gran would make my mum play piano and if she missed a note she would get the wooden paddle out again. And my gran would never have seen herself as a child abuser she was just a mum coping, bringing her kids up.

Absolutely none of this has anything to do with screen time, or lack of it.

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