To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

Our kids are quite spaced out so it was easy to avoid iPads with the older one and to an extent the second one. The third was an older toddler during lockdown, with me trying to work from home and home school the other two (who were also bbc bite size and times table rock stars ing on tablets at home) so the tablet did feature in her life much more at that formative time. I have used phones/tablets during potty training, at times when she was difficult to get in the buggy to do the school run, and when I’ve met up with a vulnerable friend for a coffee and needed to give her all of my attention (probably getting lots of judgy looks in the cafe). I’m not particularly proud that I didn’t have better methods than that, but here we are.

We did have to “lose” the tablet at one stage because we noticed it does become addictive as others have mentioned. She was awful for a few days but got over it and was nicer/more engaged after that.

i think i see the tablet a bit like sugar or UPF, something we know our kids don’t need and definitely shouldn’t be having a lot of. But I also know I am not a super parent who can run a home on Montessori toys, home made snacks and the wheels on the bus, and some days it is about being pragmatic. I don’t feel guilty about it and wouldn’t want to make anyone else feel judged either, but equally I don’t think we can go the other way and wave it all away as if it doesn’t matter. Limiting our kids access to lots of things is part of our job as parents and it is good that parents are becoming more aware of it. I also think it’s a bit like diet, not just cutting things out but also making sure their lives are educationally “nutritional” getting outdoors, holding conversations, playing with others, role play etc.

Nailed it in one sentence 👏

Screens etc are just lazy parenting, i understand the why's but its all excuses... engage with your children, encourage independent play - yes there will be specific examples why this may not be possible but theses are the exception.

Now its just easier to give a child a device at 18m or 2 years (sometimes even younger) and very soon its an addiction.

Then when older, we have all the other issues of on-line bullying, grooming etc and calls for the Govt to "Step in" with bans etc

But the arguments and you telling them how to behave is how they learn how to behave!

Not having a smart phone doesn't make it harder to be independent, it teaches you not to be reliant on being spoon fed. Not having an smart phone doesn't mean you'll never be able to catch a bus and all hope is lost, I hate this attitude and so many kids have it.

The rest I broadly agree with you.

Oh weaponised incompetence and the wife making excuses. Seen it time and time again sadly.

We both worked full time since our kids were 8 months old. We dropped them and picked them up from nursery. I am a hospital consultant so also had oncall shifts. We still both cooked at home and didn’t have phones to hand to our kids in the early 2000s. It was hard work but that’s young kids. They are functioning adults now and both the boy and girl can cook! One has started a grad job in the city and still cooks. It’s not impossible for some of us!

I agree!

Yes. I've seen and read most of those studies and reviews.

But really they all say similar things - that excessive passive screen time can be a marker for/predict a number of negative outcomes - but that is not the same as screen time 'causes' those issues. The issue also occurs when the 'screen time' is not even consumed by the child - but by there being a TV on in the house.

The issue isn't 'the screen' - it's what the screen time is displacing elsewhere - so reduced peer play, book reading, reduced interaction time with caregivers, positive engagement and learning opportunities.

This is why dosage dependent advice on age is so important - obviously the development of children is linked to to their environment and how they are interacted with. Using a screen to consistent excess is mostly just stealing time from them doing other things, it is a symptom that indicates something is not right elsewhere..

Studies show that even just reading half an hour daily to a child can negate most of the vocabulary differences of 'screen use' at the early stages, as does being in good quality early years childcare.

So it's not so much a child on screens issue as a human interaction issue.

We need to support families to have the type of environment where children thrive - not by banning screens, demonising families with excess usage and becoming so fearful of technology - but by building a society that supports children's development at all stages of their life and offer structures for those families that need extra support.

@Lmnop22
I agree that moderation is the key and 30 mins a day is fine. It’s excessive use that is the problem. Government guide now state no screen time for under 2’s unless calling relatives on a video call and no more than one hour a day for under 5’s. I think there is new advice coming out soon actually too

@NeoName see studies/reviews below
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8905397/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38014571/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39786801/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38436942/

More screen time is linked to less parent child talk and interactions. The screen can’t talk back to the child if the child says something. Children are having less exposure to those vital parent child interactions which help to develop language and social communication skills.

Quite a few of us with none addicted kids in that age range or older have been told the fact our kids are fine is irrelevant as techs all different now.

It's ADHD in our family but kids have under our roof learnt to regulate time spent on screens and other aspects of their lives - which is good because older two are at uni and I have no input on what they now do.

I do think there are valid concerns round screen but I don't think it new. I remember being lectured by a few other parents as my kids didn't have hand held screens their kids did or play computer games as they wouldn't be preapted for programing and tech jobs - I had to point out DH and I were in that sector and had found our way there despite not having that and that coding games would be better than just any game.

We used sure start and I remember by bemused by a mother who just didn't talk to her DS becasue he wasn't speaking yet - me and another mother had entire conversation - also at home the TV was on all the time. Apaprently two mothers saying what staff had been telling her for months made a huge difference. That all gone now and that and cuts in speach thearpy services won't be helping.

So I'm not in camp tech bros can be trusted or that unlimted screen time is a good idea - I'm saying there are issues but the moral panic is obscuring them. I think moderation and a lot of input on what is being consumed is vital.

It's like posters who don't want under 16 to have smart phones - here all public transport timetables and tickets is on apps now apparenty that's irrelevant but I think making it harder for teens to be out and about independenly does matter as if it happens less and less it starts to be like playing out as kids less socially acceptable and it's starts on a downward curve.

I am just saying that I find screens a useful tool SOMETIMES to keep them occupied for 30 minutes in an evening when they’re tired whilst I cook dinner.

Obviously my children do crafts, colour, play with their toys, play together and are not always glued to a screen. I think there is a hysteria around using screens ever as if it will automatically damage your children’s development if you put Bluey on the tv for half an hour, thats all im saying.

The author of the Anxious Generation and their new book to help reduce screen time for children (and why)

What research are you talking about? As far as I aware there is no definitive 'proof' and still correlation over causation (biggest confounding factor being what actually constitutes 'screen time' here.

If it's the from the 2020 cohort study - it also shows that children's language development is much more affected by socio-economic factors and the mental health of the main caregiver (which given that of the 4500 respondents to the survey were women - should also worry us.)

Obviously young children need adult input to thrive and develop language - that is pretty obvious - but the 'blocks' to that are not as simple as just 'reduce screen time'. That's far too reductive a response - again we need high quality early years intervention and support systems - this is not about individual parents - but about how we reduce inequality and improve the health of our society.
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Long term effects of sure start

Rather than individuals passing judgement on other parents (and in whose interest is it that we all spend our precious time arguing with each other?) that we work politically to actually force the tech companies to make tech and the online world 'safe' for children - whichever age they are. Technology via screens isn't going away (unless we get hit by an asteroid). We need better regulation, more effective parental controls and built in safeguarding.

This whole 'debate' is a lot more nuanced than 'screens are bad'. This is quite a good article.

Screen time limits not enough

Screen time in moderation is the key. Research has now shown that excessive screentime hinders children’s language development and attention span. Children are finding it more and more difficult to concentrate and their language development is affected.

There is another way you know.

Kids don’t need to be (nor should be) constantly entertained.

Jigsaws, toys, books, colouring books, a bit of playdough, hell - even a box of clothes pegs and some card. There are a million things that keep them occupied for the half an hour needed to make dinner.

It’s what parents have done for centuries.

Not even a bit of cucumber or carrot sticks? They're pretty universal toddler snacks.

No, I didn't make the salad suggestion, that one was someone else.

We're not trying to shame you. You're saying you can't see it being feasible and we're giving you ideas. You're just choosing to take it as an attack.

Assume by “everyone’s”, you mean yours…

And I conceded it was a good idea for Sunday lunch or a day with more time.

I’m simply trying to make the point that people aren’t bad parents because they use screens sometimes with reasonable boundaries to get household chores done. And not every 6 or 2 year old is interested in or capable of helping in the kitchen and to attempt to shame mothers for making it work in single parent families when they work 50+ hour weeks and do their best only reflects badly on you.

Well done for finding reasons to everyone's suggestions for how to get your kids helping with dinner. It's quite a skill in itself.

Well it’s just me and my kids and we eat the same meals so no green salad for one chopped up by my kids unfortunately 🙃

They could still prep it for the people in the household who would eat it though.

DD won't eat red onion (can't blame her, not a fan myself) but if we're cooking for everyone then she helps prep for everyone. She knows it's "daddy's favourite bit" or that "mummy loves avocado" for example.

DH doesn't eat cheese but he'll still slice it for my sandwiches if he's making lunch.

At risk of being accused (again) of being a bad parent, I’m afraid I also wouldn’t be able to get my kids to eat a chopped salad no matter who chopped it….