AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

Your friend is incredibly rude. She knew your boundary and trampled all over it for her own selfish reasons, while at the same time making out that you were the one in the wrong and being unreasonable for not giving her your own food. It’s really fucking cheeky. It doesn’t matter whether people think sharing food is a good or bad thing; it matters that your friend knows you don’t want it and did it anyway. It’s like bringing kids to a childfree wedding - they are clearly saying, ‘My wishes are more important than your needs and I although I know I will, don’t care if I make you angry and uncomfortable, because I am selfish and greedy.

The old technique of licking everything first to ward off predators was my preferred method. Tricky with scrambled eggs I suppose but not impossible.

It’s perfectly reasonable to be bothered by a friend repeatedly ignoring your wishes and taking an odd pride in doing so, whatever the subject of the wishes might be.

she put her used fork in anyway - violating and disgusted

It's not unreasonable to find it mildy irritating. The extent to which it bothers you though is unreasonable.

I fucking hate people asking for a taste. I will sometimes off DH or my best friend, but not often. I’m the youngest of 6 so I’m used to people snatching off my plate. I developed some pretty weird food habits to stop this like covering everything in brown sauce when I was a kid.

@SingedSoul germs aren’t the main point. Doing something to a friend or colleague who has told you no, because you want to, regardless of what she wants, is the point.

@SingedSoul

other peoples fork germs are simply not necessary in my food. Whereas using public toilets is hard to avoid. Also I’m not going around licking surfaces in a toilet whereas with food it people have deposited their germs in it I’m gonna be consuming it aren’t I and therefore more likely to get ill. No thanks. Greedy people can just back off and eat their own food, and learn some manners whilst they’re at it.

People are very uptight about germs. Apparently you leave the tube with at least 5 different people's fecal matter on yours hands. If you used the bathroom in the restaurant, unless you antibaced the taps etc, you're covered in bacteria. Fork germs are the least of your worries.

@Francestein

what a greedy selfish gluttonous prick you’re married to. Stuffing meat down your neck like that?? Why?! Ick.

Tell her just to order two starters. Then she can have two different things. And to steer clear of your grub. If she tries it again, just take her whole plate of food and eat the whole lot as fast as you can. Then carry on with your own.

Very rude behaviour - you chose your food, you want to eat it yourself!

As an aside, who are Joey, Smithy and Nessa?

I also agree with you op and I can’t fathom why people think it’s part of the Eating out experience to have some of other people’s food. It is not. Be it starter, main or dessert.in my view these are just greedy people who want some of your food.

im happy to let my husband have anything I left, but dont want him diving in whilst I eat so he’d never do that, and im happy to let my daughter try some whilst I eat, I think that’s a parent thing, but past that it’s a no.

the worst two things I saw were.

out to dinner with couple friends, one woman said she wasn’t that hungry, she had food issues, ordered a starter for her main, when the mains came she said to the person opposite her, can I try your steak, when she said yes, she proceeded to cut it in half and take half of it. Literally, with no exaggeration she split it fifty fifty and sat it on top of her starter, she then started eating chips off everyone else’s plates.

having dinner with work colleagues in hotel, two said they weren’t hungry and going back to their rooms, one person had burger and chips, as soon as it came they both dived on his chips, I was eating quietly and watching, when it got to he had a small handful of chips left, no more than ten, I spoke up and said stop thay you’ve eaten all his chips, he’s nearly none left, that’s his dinner, he was all polite and saying it’s ok, but you could see he was incomfortable. They did look shamefaced.

i never ever take food off someone’s plate, and if someone offers I always say no thanks but it looks delicious. As very few people want their food eaten by someone else as they are eating.

now when I am with people I know do this, I order sides for the table, extra chips etc, so they can eat those as well as their main meal it nearly always solves the issue, because it is just pure greed.

My husband and I do this sometimes, but I wouldn't do it with anyone I didn't already have intimate contact with. If someone else was insisting on trying my food, I'd take some and put it on their plate.

I’m in the minority here. I disagree with everything other than using her own fork and people who take food without asking/being offered. The rest I find excessive.
i eat out a lot with the same people. We almost always share dishes or taste each others food (never with used cutlery and never without previously agreeing) It’s part of the experience for us and we deliberately order different dishes to try different things.
im a massive foodie and love talking about flavours etc.
Id say just don’t eat out with her again.

What? Other people's germs cutlery nicking food from your plate after you've said no?! Minor? Really? Do you just let people do what they want? Do you not have any boundaries?

After she had stuck her fork in your food why didn’t you just scrape all your meal on top of hers and walk out? Revolting I know but it might teach her to not trespass at the dinner table.

Completely with you. Its rude and deserves being stabbed in the hand with a fork. If you want to taste something order it.
Its some kind if weird insecure bonding attempt.
Annoying too when people go on about both ordering cocktails. If you want one just order it, your friend doesn't gave to want one too.

YANBU but you seem to be very unfortunate in the people you encounter when you are eating food.
i have only met one person like you have described and that was my SIL who, if I put my fork down between mouthfuls would say ‘ if you don’t want that I’ll have it’ - we’re now NC ( for other reasons) but it did used to annoy me no end.

It's indecisive people versus decisive people I think 🤣
My partner goes as far as to say
Can we swap?
No!
As much as yours looks lovely,
I chose this becaise I like it.
If you like it, you could've chosen it too.

Next time you go out with her let her order first thrn just order the same thing

By the way, in case no one has mentioned it, there is a word for when people ogle your food like a hungry Labrador: groaking. Sounds like you'll get a lot of use from this word in your life. 😂

Ah, a food post. Where to start?!

I grew up with 'food issues' - well, I didn't think it was an issue, but my mum always worried. I only liked a few specific things, and refused to eat anything else - no SEN issues or eating disorders. I was perfectly healthy, just very picky.
I expanded my palate as I grew older, but even today I have very definite likes and dislikes, and I refuse to apologise for that. I still won't eat something 'to be polite'. I will politely say 'no thank you', but it really pisses me off if people then feel free to comment on what I do or do not want to eat.

Those settings where it's 'normal' to share food eg, Indian, Chinese... I still don't really want to share. I order what I know I will like, and I don't want to share my chicken tikka with your prawn whatever....

The hovering seagulls - really fucking annoying. My DP is the worst, although I have trained him to wait until I either offer some of my food, or I have finished eating and he can have what is left ,although this annoys him because it's probably cold by then. Not my problem. I don't know when my food arrives exactly how much of it I will want or manage to eat, so I don't want to give any away at that point.
He is a big man, hates wasting food, loves trying different things (and is a great cook), but he is also greedy. He will finish everyone's leftovers, not just mine, if we're out with friends.

Someone mentioned not eating a whole bar of chocolate in one go, and wanting to save it for another time - that's me. I have to hide it, though, or DP will eat it.

People commenting on how much/how little/how many the calories etc etc I've ordered - rude!! Just don't.
And I won't tolerate any food shaming about not eating certain things - I'm 66, I'm an adult, I can and will make my own choices, and I will not be ridiculed for them.

People sticking their used cutlery into other people's food without asking - just shoot them now.

I think I have a pretty healthy relationship with food, and I enjoy eating out with friends, but I have firm boundaries and that's just how it is.

And yes, I'm a lot of fun at parties 🤣

Some people are really odd and grim around food. A woman at work sticks her dirty fork into any stared dish or others plates, rather than using the clean utensils placed in dishes for this purpose!

I refuse to share with her and just order my own stuff.

I dint understand people wanting to ‘taste’ others food especially when it doesn’t complement what they’re eating. You should stop eating out with her, it sounds stressful.

I’m really close to my friends but wouldn’t want to share food from each others plates. Thankfully they are the same! I do sometimes share with my partner but I see that as completely different. When younger, our children would share our food sometimes but thankfully they’ve since developed better manners and social norms. 😬