AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

You sit down to eat your food, and before you've picked up your knife and fork, someone asks if they can try it.

My mum would do this to me as a kid whenever I ordered pancakes and call me selfish for saying no. It was the only food I ordered while her meal was 3x bigger than mine and she could easily order some herself. Think she did it because she wanted to use part of my meal as a dessert for herself since she had a sweet tooth and didn’t want to look greedy by ordering a separate dessert for herself.

I don’t mind sharing if I’m informed about it before I order something, don’t drop the expectation after I ordered and am about to eat.

Feeling the pain. I like to have little bowls of nuts or snacks with the exact amount I want. DH invades them without warning and then says I'm selfish. Or asks to try my drink or meal before I've had a bite. I never want his food so his excuse that he likes to share means nothing to me.
He also serves himself first at the table when we're together as a family and got really put out the other day when I had the meat near me and offered it first to the children. He said I was rude but fortunately the children countered that he was the rude one actually.
My dad stabbed my mother's hand when they were uni students when she reached for something off his plate. He also liked to have little bowls of nuts.
I grew up with an older brother who was always taking my food off me.
Yet DH can't accept my deep feelings on this and just takes my food like it's his own.
He went crazy on me once for not wanting to share a latte after he'd bought me some earrings that day.
Like the gift made it OK. It did not.

But again that’s different, loads of sharing dishes is very different to helping yourself to someone else’s individual serving on their own plate.

im so bemused people don’t know the difference between sharing dishes in the middle where people take some and put it on their own plate then eat, and having invidual served portions which is served to the individual and someone then eating off your individual plate.

to help explain. You go out with a friend, you order steak and chips. They order lasagne, they then reach over, cut your steak in half and put it on their plate and eat it. This is what the op is talking about.

it is not let’s order lots of dishes, dishes put in middle of table, everyone has an empty plate in front of them, and then serves themselves from the middle.

I’d have been so annoyed and simply asked the waitress to bring another portion as most of mine was eaten. And smiled innocently like I wasn’t shaming him.

I have never asked or been asked for 'a taste'of my food when dining out. Expect maybe by my DC. Strange behaviour.

If you want to try multiple things, go for tapas or Chinese food etc.

Good advice, but if there is one side dish and four people, it doesn't take a genius to think taking 25% is more reasonable than taking 67%.

@Bleachedjeans , next time, serve yourself before offering.

Was it cauliflower cheese? the git,.

Went for Sunday lunch with another couple recently. I ordered a side dish. It was quite a generous portion. I asked if anyone would like some. The DH of the other couple immediately helped himself to two thirds of my side dish. Greedy cheeky bastard.

Went for Sunday lunch with another couple recently. I ordered a side dish. It was quite a generous portion. I asked if anyone would like some. The DH of the other couple immediately helped himself to two thirds of my side dish. Greedy cheeky bastard.

My EXHB used to do this, and it used to infuriate me, stop scavenging like some poor half starved animal, you’ve just finished your own rather large meal! 😂

I would be raging over this bit, she doesn’t sound like a nice person at all:

I clearly have food issues because my attitude isn’t normal.

Leaving aside that her own behaviour probably points towards her having issues there, if she really thought that she wouldn’t bring it up in that way surely? Shes saying basically if you don’t do things her way you’ve got MH problems?! I would want an apology for that bit of gaslighting alongside the disgusting used fork/boundary pushing behaviour.

My oldest, dearest friend helps herself to whatever is on my plate if she fancies it, and I’ve often done the same with hers…but we basically grew up together and would share our school lunches etc…

If anyone else tried that though, I’d be bloody enraged!!! Especially if it’s a bloke…drives me insane for some reason…like, “can’t you just let me have this ONE THING for myself??” 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

YADNBU, OP!!!

"fuck off Janice, we don't need two spoons" bloody well said. YANBU.

Seagulls and pelicans can fuck right off.

People that wolf down their food and then try to tuck into yours, same.

Greedy pigs that need to eat everything and see all food as communal and to be consumed asap, same.

I stopped going out to eat with my DF when their DM came too. Every single time their DM gleefully waited with a fork to carry out a royal tasting immediately their plate arrived. DF would ask them to knock it off, even said they would save some. It didn't matter. Horrible manners, unkind and controlling.

DP cannot abide that I save snacks and like my own larder. They are happy to run out and get more and will see all food as ours. I am eating healthy to lose and maintain. I have small bars which I hide because they have two or three at once and eat them. So we now buy two. They can eat what they want and leave mine alone. If I leave half a bar of chocolate, it drives them to distraction. I come from a big family, we grew up very differently. They cannot understand I want my own things to eat whenever I want.

It is something I sort of like to do, as in yes I would be the one saying 'lets get loads of dishes and just share' BUT only if I get to order lol. Because there are a fair few things I don't eat.

Your friend sounds rude though. I wouldn't ask to try a friends food it would seem weird to me.

My son asks a lot and I always let him he is 3 though and usually decides against trying before he even tries it so I want him to.

@Wickedlittledancer , they only skim-read the OP and don't think before posting. Or they're people unfamiliar with manners.

I don't mind sharing food within limits but I can still understand your POV and certainly your friend was out of order ignoring your clear no.

I’m genuinely surprised how many people can’t see the difference between sharing meals and individual portions

with tapas there are sharing plates, you take your portion and put it on your own plate and eat it, what the op describes is akin to someone taking their portion from the sharing plate, putting it on their own plate, starting to eat it and someone else reaching over and eating it from that persons own plate. No sharing meal involves this, and certainly not tapas.

@abbynabby23 Helping yourself to food on someone else's plate is quite different to eating a meal designed for sharing.

Your friend is right, you are overreacting! What’s the big deal? I am not usually asking to try anyone’s food but happy to share with friends anytime. I guess you haven’t been to Spain or Greece that tapas is part of the culture and everyone is sharing food!

Another moan.

You sit down to eat your food, and before you've picked up your knife and fork, someone asks if they can try it.

Same applies to something like a book or magazine (e,g when on holiday). You haven't even opened it and your companion says 'Can I read that after you?'.
It feels like 'Hurry up! I want it.

Give me some space.

When I was young my mother would bring home 3 cakes (there were 4 of us) and say 'I'll just have a piece off each of yours'.

It used to drive my sister and me mad.

I'd be tempted to order the exact same thing as her, no need to 'have a taste' of yours then!

I read some of this thread to dh last night (I was making the occasional “ewwww!” Sound and he asked me what was so gross.

He reminded me of an old friend of his who we used to go to an Indian buffet with a couple of Sundays a month.

He would always finish of plates of other people’s food. Bearing in mind it was a fucking buffet, so if something looks good, just go and get a bit of your own.

Anyway one time when I wasn’t with them all, our then toddler dd was sitting on dh lap and sneezed all over his half eaten plate. Dh pushed the plate to the side and his mate (not having seen dd sneeze and get all sorts of liquid all over it), grabbed the plate and started eating.

Dh was so pissed off of years of his plate being grabbed from under him, even if he was just having a breather and still going with his food, that he let him carry on without warning.

Something that annoys me is when I order something when out with a group and someone decides that it's to share.

An example might be a group goes out and everybody orders a pizza but I only order garlic bread. That is my meal not a side dish.

Similarly, group orders a curry each, everybody but me also orders rice but I order a naan. Someone will start pestering for a bit of my naan.
Order your own!