AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

So would you feel the same if you offered your leftovers? Is it just because they take it without asking?

Because I totally get the annoyance of someone taking food from your plate without asking, even after you’ve finished.

I don’t offer my leftovers routinely but I’d never mind if someone asked. I would actively offer if I had something completely untouched like maybe a naan bread, for example. I would feel quite irritated though if they just helped themselves, even if I’d finished.

I am guilty of asking to smell dh food.

But I’m coeliac so my choices are very limited, or none at all when we go out as I can’t risk cross contamination.

I wouldn’t ask to smell a friends food though.

Yeah. I’m with Joey. I don’t share food.

I had a friend once who always wanted to buy a starter or a pudding “to share”. NO. Buy your own.

I have an uncle that always does this because he can't stand waste. So even if he's not hungry and me or my dc or dh has left a half potato he will finish it 🤢. It doesn't bother me because it's not that he's sitting there lusting after my food- that I absolutely hate! With you OP- can everyone just eat their own food. And stop looking and commenting on it. DH is italian so we're never going to "get" each other's attitudes to this but he knows not to pester me- he would just get a miserable grunt in response😅

I will only share with my kids or my OH at an absolute push. Everyone else, I'm Joey and I do not share food.

I agree.

I am VERY surprised by the vote and the comments so far.

You sound quite irrational OP. Food issues aside, your inability to control your temper when out with a friend for a sociable occasion is quite concerning.

I agree with all of this wholeheartedly. Only DH is allowed to put his mucky fork in my food because his mouth has been on mine lol.

Sharing can be lovely, but it depends who you’re sharing with. I’d split two meals with a friend if we were both equally torn over two choices. If I’m eating or drinking something delicious I often offer a taste to people I care about because I want to share a really nice experience with them. It’s never with the intention of getting a bite of their food.

Usually etiquette suggests that the other person ought to offer. I’d feel very differently if a friend was constantly eyeing my dinner plate or offering only with the intent to get something back.

It does sound like you have high hygiene concerns though. Does it bother you to share food with a partner, hygiene wise (presuming you also kiss your partner)?

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.

So did she eat your food as well as her own??

People can be weird about food and eating as a group. I'd just accept that they might think I'm rude and tell people that I don't like sharing my food. Same thing with subsidising someone else's meal. Unless I've announced that I'm paying for it all, I will only pay for what I've ordered. I don't see why it should be otherwise.

You think this is bad…I have a friend (who to be fair has an eating disorder) who asks if she can smell my food just as I’m about to start eating.
There is no way she would eat any (calories/ allergens/ toxins) but she wants to basically nose taste it.
She puts her nose right up to it and inhales really deeply then says something about how she kind of wishes she “could” eat it but how ill it would make her feel etc.
The first few times I let her because I was sort of stunned, then I started saying no.

I never share curry, unless it's a side dish that DH and I have agreed to share when we order.

I hate this. Grew up with lots of brothers and several of them would snatch food right off my plate as I was eating. It got to the point we'd instinctively put an arm around our plates at the table. I feel this is a big part of why I have a weight problem and scarf my food unless I focus on slowing down.

None of my friends or family do this now thank god, it would bother me a lot. Also its nasty unless the person used a clean fork then took no 'tastes' YANBU

I have an ex good friend (now acquaintance) who we allowed behave like this for years; we would go to a tapas restaurant, she'd say she couldn't afford it, we would say fine bye then she'd join anyway 'for chats' and as soon as the food came stay and 'have tastes'. The bill would come and she would have ordered nothing so would pay nothing. We were the muppets allowing this.

I'm always on high alert with her now but do still occasionally forget and include her on a round, you never get a drink back. It's crap because you can't relax around her, have to remember '"stay out of rounds, she's here". My DH always ends up buying her drinks then says to me "What's the big deal, it's a couple of drinks" but it enrages me decades later.

Not me - ever - but there are some crossover with social groups but use recreational drugs and I know the exact same thing goes on; she won't 'go in on a bag' (as in pay for her own cocaine) but when she sees them heading off for a line she will trail after and wait for someone to share with her. The exact same thing with smoking. GRRRR.

I wouldn’t like the expectation element of this. Fine to share and DH and I will often swap half round but we agree first. If it’s something I love I won’t share. He doesn’t get the hump, if he wants some he’ll order the same. I am veggie and I’ve had people ram their meat polluted forks into my food which has ruined my meal or use their cutlery to serve shared food, (tapas, curry etc, usually already fewer dishes for me, and now I can’t eat the polluted one either) it’s vile. Serving spoons exist. These type of people usually get really huffy with me when I object so I don’t go for dinner with several people any more. I think it’s just lack of consideration and acknowledging someone else’s boundaries may not be the same as yours. YANBU

Not to mention those people who ‘don’t want’ any chips, and then
proceed to nick half of yours….

My mum does this and it drives me mad. Never orders a pudding or chips etc because they are “naughty” and then proceeds to want some of mine, or to finish it when I’m done. I don’t know why it bothers me but it’s annoying as fuck!

I don't know how to vote because you're definitely NOT being unreasonable about your rude friend but in general you sound really OTT about this.

I have literally never had anyone take or try to take food off my plate. You know some weird people.

In some places your curry doesn't come on a plate, but in a small hot/heated pot and you move it on your plate with a dedicated spoon.

This serving style means your food is never cold and it makes hygienic sharing really easy, it's actually expected in that setup.

In a group of four we would get 2-3 safe portions and 1-2 more interesting choices for tasting.

We do it similarly when ordering pizza for a group.

I appreciate it is harder/not worth it/impossible to arrange with some of the allergies.

I hate it when people stick their used forks in my food to try it. I don’t mind cutting a bit off and putting it on their plate if they’re so interested in it.

It’s the weighing straight into my plate like it’s another part of their own meal, that’s rude and unhygienic. See also the entitled family members who take what they’d like from communal plate food with their used fork, or even worse their fingers. Yuck. I pointedly put out serving spoons yet they don’t use them. I don’t even want to get on to handwashing standards. It’s really not nice.

I retired a couple of years ago and joined many groups and have been to quite a few lunches and dinners now. I was surprised by the food sharing as no idea this went on unless agreed up front with curry, tapas etc. I’ve been offered food but always declined and never offered mine. Maybe they think I’m weird but nobody has said anything. I do occasionally share desert but we ask for an extra plate and fork and divide it up

I’m here for this!

Once after a night out I bought chicken nuggets, chips and cheese. A friend asked if she could have a chip so I offered the polystyrene box, and she took a nugget! I was fuming 🤣 you only get six and I wanted all six of my nugs. Must have been about 15 years ago but I’m still annoyed thinking about it!

Also a few years ago, a group of friends got together for a takeaway night. One of the girls said she couldn’t afford a takeaway as she was skint so shed already eaten at home. But then when we’d all finished, she started picking at our leftovers! I was quite quick to get mine and say I was going to take it for my lunch the next day, but because everyone else let her have their leftovers I felt like a bit of a tit. But I was annoyed as I genuinely think she ended up having the most food and didn’t pay a single penny.

Well if there are food allergies etc then of course you get your own meal. But where there aren't then using a serving spoon to help yourself to one of the curries in the middle of the table isn't that outlandish amongst my friends...(with a few exceptions) and often food orders will be sorted out so there's a choice...