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AIBU?

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AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
RottenBanana · 22/01/2026 16:58

I had a colleague who used to help himself to my chips without asking. And he would never just take one, he would touch a load of them. The day I decided I had had enough, I reached over, stuck my finger in his bowl of soup and stirred, then licked my finger. He was horrified and disgusted. I told him that was how he had been making me feel for however long. He never did it again.

LindorDoubleChoc · 22/01/2026 16:46

I'm with you OP. I always find it odd and definitely yucky when people want to try what I'm having, or offer me a taste of theirs. I don't like being put in the position of having to say no, like I'm being unreasonable! I didn't even tolerate it from my children when they were younger.

C152 · 22/01/2026 16:43

You're hanging around with the wrong people, OP! I don't know anyone who shares food in this way, unless they're in the loved up stage of dating. It's certainly extraordinarily rude of your 'friend' to ignore your very clear wishes and just reach over to steal from your plate. I don't think I'd stay friends with her after that.

Greyhound98 · 22/01/2026 16:39

I agree 100%
Treat people like this like scrounging dogs with stern NO!! 😂
Anyone taking food off my plate better be prepared to be stabbed with my fork. Rude awful behaviour.

Laura95167 · 22/01/2026 16:38

I think the not liking someone ask about your meal a bit weird. Its conversation and they may try it next time

But with your friend its not about the food but the disrespect of saying im still trying yours after being told no. Id have walked out and left her to pay and said, if youre eating it you can pay for it. Thats horribly rude.

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 16:32

BMW6 · 22/01/2026 15:23

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.

So did she eat your food as well as her own??

No she said she “only wanted a taste” and I was selfish because I know she loves to try other peoples food when she eats out and “it’s part of the experience of eating out” and I clearly have food issues because my attitude isn’t normal.

I said smoked salmon and scrambled eggs wasn’t exotic and I wasn’t depriving her of some magical food discovery and it wasn’t up to her to decide she could help herself to other people’s food they had paid for because her wants don’t mean she has the right to trample other people’s boundaries.

We aren’t speaking but I’m proud of standing up for myself.
I was the least confrontational person ever and such a people pleaser, I’ve been having therapy because I was constantly letting people walk all over me so this was probably a big shock to her that I’ve argued back.

OP posts:
Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 22/01/2026 16:30

SpidersAreShitheads · 22/01/2026 15:54

So would you feel the same if you offered your leftovers? Is it just because they take it without asking?

Because I totally get the annoyance of someone taking food from your plate without asking, even after you’ve finished.

I don’t offer my leftovers routinely but I’d never mind if someone asked. I would actively offer if I had something completely untouched like maybe a naan bread, for example. I would feel quite irritated though if they just helped themselves, even if I’d finished.

Actually there's a bit of a side story, because if I've left food because it was basically crap, I sort of want the restaurant to see that it's half eaten. You can't make that (admittedly rather peurile) point if someone else has scoffed it!

To answer you more directly if someone has finished their meal but still wants half of mine I'd still not want them to; they should have ordered more!

BillieWiper · 22/01/2026 16:28

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 16:07

Do we have the same friends?!

This is exactly what gets my back up with my friend I met today, she is practically willing me to have something she wants and then says “oh I’ll have a taste of that” or “I’m looking forward to trying yours”

It’s always the men who are sat waiting like dogs to finish any scraps you might have left, you can tell the ones who haven’t been properly trained and don’t bother to hide it.

Haha, it certainly sounds like it! 😂

I have one friend, bless her, who was so eager to eat the remainder of my mussels that she ate them, then poured the cream sauce into a glass and drank it! I was pretty repulsed by that. Though I did offer her the dish.

But yeah it is usually the men who are worse!

magicstar1 · 22/01/2026 16:24

I find it depends on the person asking. I went to college with a lovely girl and we were great friends, but if she touched my food it turned my stomach. She asked for a sip of my drink once and I gave her the can as I couldn't bring myself to touch it after her. I couldn't tell you why, it's just some people.
Twice recently we were out in PIL and I got a couple of cocktails. FIL normally drinks beer and said that my drinks looked interesting. I asked did he want to try it (thinking he'd take a sip from the side), and he used my straw. It didn't bother me at all and I was actually surprised at myself.

CurryTonite · 22/01/2026 16:24

You are NOT being unreasonable! I will give my DH a taste of my food and have a taste of his but as we also share a bed I feel like that’s fine, anyone else can fuck right off!

My mum is awful for this, last time she went on holiday she brought the kids back these tiny little chocolate bars, about the size of a Club biscuit, and as my 4 year old was about to bite it she asked for a taste and then ate half! She could’ve had as many as she wanted when she was on holiday, there’s no need to steal from a four year old!

soupyspoon · 22/01/2026 16:17

Oh dear. I always offer someone a taste of my food as I want them to experience it and I love a taste of other people's.

Midgetgemsplease · 22/01/2026 16:15

MissCooCooMcgoo · 22/01/2026 13:14

I would not go out for food with her again! End of.

Same 💯%

NotMeAtAll · 22/01/2026 16:11

I remember someone posted on here once about going on a date to a pub with a man, he waited till people eating in the pub finished meals and left and ate any leftovers on their plates. I think I recall there was a sausage and some beans and it made me feel sick. I must try to find that thread because that must be one of the top food crimes!

I remember that. It was disgusting.

I think your friend needs a fork in the eye. "I wonder if eyeballs make nice lollypops..." 🤔

Timeandtune · 22/01/2026 16:10

I am totally in agreement with the OP. Cannot abide compulsory sharing.
it’s a) unhygienic and b) greedy.

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 16:07

BillieWiper · 22/01/2026 14:35

I do like sharing food but only when I'm volunteering to do so. I'm quite funny with food and eating out means I usually don't eat very much.

I have one friend who, as soon as I've decided what I'm having she'll say 'oh, I'll try some of that'. It's like she knows I'll probably offer but it feels kind of pushy to assume I'll have any to spare.

I had one male friend who'd just sit there eyeing up my plate, willing me not to finish it. He'd look crestfallen when I'd eat every crumb just to stop him being such a greedy sod.

Do we have the same friends?!

This is exactly what gets my back up with my friend I met today, she is practically willing me to have something she wants and then says “oh I’ll have a taste of that” or “I’m looking forward to trying yours”

It’s always the men who are sat waiting like dogs to finish any scraps you might have left, you can tell the ones who haven’t been properly trained and don’t bother to hide it.

OP posts:
GasPanic · 22/01/2026 16:07

Just don't eat with her again. Problem easily solved.

ThreeSixtyTwo · 22/01/2026 16:00

Quagmireschin · 22/01/2026 15:53

I am guilty of asking to smell dh food.

But I’m coeliac so my choices are very limited, or none at all when we go out as I can’t risk cross contamination.

I wouldn’t ask to smell a friends food though.

Asking to smell food / drink is quite similar- can be done with respect and bring joy, or can be done rudely.

In your case it is quite fine.
In the described case, with performative breaths and lengthy explanation to a friend how badly eating it would make the smeller feel, not so much.

Pomegranatecarnage · 22/01/2026 16:00

I hate it too. I have a friend who just reaches over to try my drink or food before I’ve had a chance to taste it. She’s an amazing friend in all other respects, so I live with it as I know she’d be offended. My DD does it too. It’s infuriating as well as unhygienic.

PinkTonic · 22/01/2026 15:59

No to used forks in my food. No to sharing chips or pudding unless agreed at the ordering stage. I think a Chinese banquet is all about sharing dishes (using the serving spoons), and a curry is a bit different in that we normally share sides but not the actual curry, although I don’t always eat the whole dish and I don’t mind people trying the various dishes, including mine after I’m done. I don’t like people commenting on what I’m eating, it’s rude, and I would be annoyed at being asked for something off my plate.

SheilaFentiman · 22/01/2026 15:59

Ask for extra menus and build a little wall between you before the food arrives?

JustAnotherWhinger · 22/01/2026 15:59

It annoys the life out of me as well.

My children have been brought up to know they can ask only me or DH to try something if it's something they've never had, and they must ask before they use their fork/spoon on their own meal so it's a clean fork going into my food.

It's as annoying as people who state they don't want any sides and then decide they'll "just have a bit" 🙄

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 15:58

BootMaker · 22/01/2026 13:19

Gosh! You sound unfathomably annoyed about minor things.

I find it unfathomable that you think this is minor 😂.

Have you read some of the other comments from others who have suffered through similar ordeals on here? There is more than one person who is still dealing with unwanted food sharing trauma many years on.

I can understand though that if you haven’t experienced it that it might be difficult to comprehend the rage and distress you feel when someones slobbered on fork is suddenly stabbed into a meal you were throughly enjoying and the perpetrator thinks it’s acceptable because they offered you “a taste” of their food that if you’d wanted you simply would have ordered.

I might set up a support group now I’ve discovered there are so many others out there who understand the struggle.

OP posts:
MyMilchick · 22/01/2026 15:58

ToddlerMumma · 22/01/2026 13:09

JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!!

Only came here to say this :p

She should respect your food boundaries OP. I love a food share though, tapas and sharing platters are what my group of friends usually do when we go out. My husband and I often order starters/mains jointly so we can have a bit of a few things 😁

Happyjoe · 22/01/2026 15:57

Nope, this kind of behaviour is a bit annoying with partners, let alone friends.
As someone else wrote, stab with a fork, lol.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 22/01/2026 15:57

RecordBreakers · 22/01/2026 15:45

I agree.

I am VERY surprised by the vote and the comments so far.

You sound quite irrational OP. Food issues aside, your inability to control your temper when out with a friend for a sociable occasion is quite concerning.

OP is not irrational at all, she's told the friend no, friend doesn't listen so she got angry. Good for her, the friend is lucky she didn't get a good forking