AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

Taking food off your plate, especially without asking is awful behaviour. The nerve of her calling you selfish.

I do think you're being weird about people saying your food looks nice or asking what it tastes like though, surely that's just normal interactions at a meal out isn't it? No one is allowed to even look at your food? Wild. I think you just need to avoid eating around people.

I feel like it's normal to try a bit of someone else's dessert or something (as long as nobody minds) but trying someone else's scrambled eggs is really odd.

I’ll never forget - I was eating a bowl of cereal at my desk at work. I finished my cereal and put the bowl down, there was some leftover milk still in the bowl. Colleague tuned to me and said “can I finish that milk?”

I nearly threw up on the spot

Order the same meal as her. Every. Single. Time.

I am the same especially 'I wont order a dessert I will just share yours' no you won't

If people have food issues deal with it dont put it onto others

I'm from a family of tasters - however they're the offering food kind not the demanding food kind so saying no is absolutely fine - and I do say no!

To answer your question OP, tastes of food isn't about not having enough on your own plate or acting like you've never had a lasagne before, it's a way to get a broad view of the meals offered in a restaurant and how they taste when made there in particular, even if its a common food. (Much like you can order the same curry at two different restaurants and get wildly different spice levels and tastes but the base of the food is the same.)

This is particularly helpful if you have family members who do have issues with food and won't try "the unknown" the whole tasting thing (with clean cutlery) opens up their options for next time.

Sometimes they just like their food so much they want someone else to try it so they can talk about a shared experience of the life changing blancmange or whatever

There's two kinds of people I don't like eating with - the people who eat like they've been starved for days then start gazing at your food meaningfully, and the ones with FOMO- they're so afraid they'll miss out they can't deceide what to have, they're usually people like your friend Op, they want some of your dinner just in case they picked the wrong thing. As soon as I've had enough I'm done so anyone's welcome to my leftovers, but while I'm eating they can bugger off

I think I can answer this because with some friends I'm like a respectful version of your ex-friend.

Rack of lamb or fish + pots + veg: a "taste" would be of just the lamb or fish, with whatever sauce (and mostly for me, as I'm a pretty decent cook, it's actually just the sauce because I know what lamb and most fish taste like). It would be less than 1cm cubed. If it can fit on four tines of the fork, it's too much. Really it's to taste what the chef has done with it, which flavours in which combination. I'd use a clean fork AND knife, and take it from the side that hasn't been touched yet.

Mixed salad: I'd never taste this. Gross and disrespectful. Also, how interesting can a salad be?!

What's the point: to see how the chef has balanced flavours. Obvs I'm not doing this in Pizza Express or whatever chain. I only do this where there's new or interesting food available! For example, Ethiopian food: first time I tried it I didn't know what the spices were, how the bread was leavened but flat and savoury, what the used to make their lentils tart etc. Just a tip of a teaspoon of sauce tells me all this, in a way no description could. It's really interesting - but boring to people who don't think about food as much as I do!

I can pine for someone else's choice while regretting mine, but I'd keep those thoughts to myself and focus on my own food.

So really, it's about experiencing new flavours and I only need a small taste to do that. Not forkfuls or spoonfuls! I wouldn't even have a spoon of risotto, it would literally be whatever few grains of rice fit on the end of a fork!

ETA: obviously I only do this when offered!! I have one or two close friends and DH who I can ask. But that's literally it, 3 people. I wouldn't do it to my DC or my parents!

F for FORK OFF, presumably? 😉

Completely agree, this does my head in.

”Are you having a dessert too?”

”No, just a coffee. Ask for a second spoon though, I’ll try a bit of yours”

I mean, seriously, just F* OFF 🤣

I hate people like that. That's a fork to the eye needed for sure!

I'd start ordering the same fucking meal as her and when she says something, say well, it's the only way I can guarantee you won't fall on my meal as well as your own.

This is genius

Or, when she orders her food, just order the same as her, don’t tell her you are going to do that.

I wonder what she says about what his insistence on eating her food said about him.

Funny how many people think that they should be entitled to stick their forks in other people's meals because - they want to. Surely wanting to stick your fork into another person's plate is unfathomably obsessed with minor things and making a mountain out of a molehill if you are thwarted.

I get rage just reading this post. I am not even that precious about food but a friend shoving her fork into my dinner would make me feel ill. I would say “no I’m really not ok with that as I think it’s unhygienic” and if presses say “I’ll save you a bit” and just give her scraps at the end. Honestly though, if this happened more than once, I would tell her that you are happy to be friends with her but you no longer want to eat with her as you finding the food sharing incredibly off-putting.

YANBU, I hate this sort of thing as a general rule. Fortunately for me, most of the people I’ve eaten out with also don’t share, or at the very least are polite enough to accept no for an answer if I disagree with their proposal to share dishes.

The only people I’d share a dish with are DH and my DC, and even then I’d want them to be using clean cutlery unless I’d finished eating.

The exception to that is if we’re out at a tapas restaurant or similar, where there’s an expectation that dishes are designed to be shared with the table. Which clearly wasn’t the case in OP’s scenario.

You did want pudding in that case! You mightn’t have wanted the amount that was on offer but that’s neither here nor there. Your friend did want that amount and as luck would have it for her, a normal portion was what the restaurant served!

Your mother’s behaviour is utterly bizarre though. I would never eat out with her.

Enjoyed your dive-bombing seagull comment.

I didn’t want pudding but did want to try one particular thing (and this wasn’t somewhere I was ever likely to go back to) so asked friend, who was ordering the one I wanted, if I could try it. Was really taken aback when he said no.

So you did want pudding you just didn't want to pay for it.

I don’t mind sharing. I remember being out for a meal with my parents (who were paying) and a long term family friend. I didn’t want pudding but did want to try one particular thing (and this wasn’t somewhere I was ever likely to go back to) so asked friend, who was ordering the one I wanted, if I could try it. Was really taken aback when he said no.

In contrast, having become used to this first friend, I was then shocked when a new acquaintance not only offered me a taste of his food but handed me his spoon.

What annoys me far more is how my mother would behave around food when in a restaurant. She’d quiz me to find out what I was having and then order the same. She would moan if I dared to choose something she didn’t like and had to choose something else, and would whinge if she did choose the same and it wasn’t to her liking. The worse was when she stuck her tongue out and made gagging noises at a pudding I’d chosen (she wouldn’t eat pudding so this has no impact on her). It was really rude and strange.

None of my friends have ever asked to taste my food. I wouldn’t eat out with this person again, gross her sticking her fork into your food. Just eat what you ordered.

So what if she is? It still doesn't give people the right to help themselves to her food.

Either that or earlier today she stuck her used fork into someone else’s scrambled eggs and smoked salmon.

I only share food with DH like a curry that comes in a separate dish to serve yourself, I’d never allow someone to take something off my plate. I don’t do shared meals like ordering a naan bread between a group of friends as I can’t stand the thought of their hands ripping bits off or sharing from each others plates.

An ex boyfriends family had the table manners of pigs, stealing food off each others plates. I only ate there once and refused to eat with them again, it was disgusting behaviour and a complete lack of parenting to teach them some bloody manners. That relationship only lasted 2 years because when we moved in he would sit and look at me with doe eyes asking for food off my plate even although he had a full plate in front of him. Weird.

We have a family member who allows her child (10) to try and pick off peoples plates. He only tried it once with me and soon learned he was not welcome to touch my food as I whipped my plate away from him. We don’t eat with them any more and neither do a lot of the wider family which means they’re not invited to a lot of celebrations.

I don't think I could ever eat with her again, lovely or not!