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Original poster

To have said something about unsafe car seat straps

36 replies

Dinoswearunderpants · 22/01/2026 12:57

I've just seen a reel on Instagram of someone from my NCT class with her two children aged 18 months and 4 years in car seats without the straps done right. The youngest had no visible straps at all and the oldest had her straps so loose they were on her upper arm.

I was so surprised I decided to look at her other reels and they all show the same. As it's videos you can see they're driving along the motorway.

I wasn't sure whether to say something but I couldn't forgive myself if she had an accident. There's no way the children would survive if it was a bad one.

I politely said I hope she didn't mind me messaging but the car straps were not safe. I said I hated to be 'that person' but I couldn't forgive myself if anything happened.

As excepted, the response was highly emotional and defensive. Saying her kids do lots of feral unsafe things, that car seats were only made legal in 2006 and she never had one as a child and she's perfectly fine. She said I was mum shaming.

I replied politely and said that was never my intention and I'm sorry she felt that way. She replied very abusively and then blocked me.

I know no one wants to be criticised (I literally have a post about my boss doing it) but I only said something out of concern. I know now to never say anything again but it just got me thinking are we really that defensive we can't see how unsafe it is to be driving on a motorway with your children not secure.

OP posts:
MTOandMe · 23/01/2026 07:15

Whilst I do think you were right to mention it to her and I think your heart is in the right place I do find your comment that you would never call her out publicly a bit disingenuous being that you posted about it on your relatively successful insta platform of 17k followers - it wouldn’t take a genius to work out who it was if they wanted to!

Owly11 · 23/01/2026 07:06

Although she has blocked you she may later reflect on what you said and change her habits. You have done the right thing and she probably will start strapping them in more safely in the future.

Bearbookagainandagain · 23/01/2026 06:28

If I understand correctly you sent the message privately and not on a group chat. In this case, in think you were right to say something. I think her reaction shows that she knows she's wrong...

Sunnysidegold · 23/01/2026 06:21

This would really bother me op. Do you have a mutual friend you could speak to? I suppose now she has blocked you you can't see the videos anymore to use as evidence.

I would ask myself "if the worst happened and she had an accident and something awful happened to the children would I feel I had done everything i could have to prevent it?". I really overthink things though, but at the end of the day, two little lives are at stake.

I'd reach out to the other NCT members first. And then think about reporting g to police. Sorry it's such an awkward situation.

JayJayj · 23/01/2026 06:09

I have done the same thing. I don’t understand why some parents just don’t take their children’s safety seriously.

I messaged a work friend about their infant car seat, the handle was in the wrong position. They didn’t mind me saying anything and told me it was just for the purpose of the video and it’s normally pulled forward. No hard feelings.

Just last week I said something to my friends son and his girlfriend. Their baby has an oxygen tank as was 15 weeks early. 7 months old but the size of a 3 month old. The car seat wanted binning, looked so old probably expired, no inserts for support so was chin to chest. No chest pads, no head cushion. If they had crashed the baby would be dead. I think it’s everyone’s responsibility.

All you can do is try and move on. Unfortunately some people just don’t care. I do tend to share a lot on car seat safety and extended rear facing. Hopefully might get through to some people.

Original poster
Dinoswearunderpants · 22/01/2026 13:48

Idontspeakgermansorry · 22/01/2026 13:18

I would report her. You tried the nice way, but she's endangering her children's lives and breaking the law.

It did cross my mind to do this but then I thought I'm just interfering. I tried to highlight it and god forbid if anything happens, that's on her conscious.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dinoswearunderpants · 22/01/2026 13:47

Bitzee · 22/01/2026 13:14

If she sees nothing wrong with the youngest having no straps at all and is happy to post that then she obviously doesn’t care about car seat safety at all. It’s not an unobvious error that she would have appreciated you pointing out is it? You’re not wrong, it was dangerous, but I think the reaction you got was pretty predictable. She doesn’t sound like the kind of person I’d want to be friends with though so maybe good riddance??

You're completely right. She obviously doesn't care but that blows my mind.

She's blocked me now so all good.

OP posts:
Idontspeakgermansorry · 22/01/2026 13:18

I would report her. You tried the nice way, but she's endangering her children's lives and breaking the law.

Bitzee · 22/01/2026 13:14

If she sees nothing wrong with the youngest having no straps at all and is happy to post that then she obviously doesn’t care about car seat safety at all. It’s not an unobvious error that she would have appreciated you pointing out is it? You’re not wrong, it was dangerous, but I think the reaction you got was pretty predictable. She doesn’t sound like the kind of person I’d want to be friends with though so maybe good riddance??

Original poster
Dinoswearunderpants · 22/01/2026 13:08

TheEponymousGrub · 22/01/2026 13:01

It depends entirely on whether your messages to her were public or private.

100% private. I'd never call out publically.

OP posts:
TheEponymousGrub · 22/01/2026 13:01

It depends entirely on whether your messages to her were public or private.

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