School say they're monitoring lateness now and I feel sick about it

My all girl grammar school did this in the 70s - more than 5 minutes, in the book you went, more than 3 times in a month and 40 minutes detention!

Smile and say ‘I’m sorry we’re late’. That should be enough. All those people patronisingly suggesting you try leaving earlier are missing the point. You have a small baby, disturbed sleep and you’re doing your best. If you could leave earlier you would!
Take a deep breath, congratulate yourself on getting your child to school every day.
As for ‘monitoring’ your lateness? That’s BS! Schools are under pressure to improve attendance not punctuality. They should be giving their attention to the non-attenders who are missing out on their education.
You sound like a caring, concerned Mum. It will get easier and you will be on time more often; just not yet.

We arent disagreeing its a time management problem, because it is.

What we are trying to get across is that for some people, the problem IS time management, and for some people no amount of fixes or tips or tricks will work, because their brain does not process time or it's passage, or judgement of how long things take.

They dont have the kind of neurology that can backwards engineer what time they need to arrive, to get a leave time, and then a routine/schedule to be ready to leave on time and with contingency for things going wrong/causing delays.

For some people, no amount of lecturing will ever change that.

Hope you've had an easy morning and arrived on time today OP (if you return)

but the point is ALL the children are the same - there might be some perfect children somewhere, but I honestly do not know ONE parent who hasn't struggle or battled often or regularly to be on time. That's the point.

I don't know many people who have 2 parents on hand either - if one manages to be available to do the school drop off, the other is long gone to work.

That's why people have no sympathy: a one-off, a real problem once, fair enough. Everybody has them.

Being regularly late? It's a choice.

It's even more obvious when the school opens LATE (it does very rarely happen, sometimes because of snow for example) or there's a school event of some kind. It's again the same people who turn up late! 😂

Don't worry! Just try your best to get there on time. We have had emails about this before. We have also had emails about absences (dd had to miss a week of school due to a fever in the first term). I just shrugged it off, as nothing we could do. She would never have been able to go to school. She did not have energy to walk, had 40.5 fever, not eating etc. The school will send emails or talk to you about this....as they want to have good attendance on record.

They also mention about how being late or missing school effects the children negatively (got this in email before) and yet my dc got GDS in everything and ended up going to highly academic secondaries that you have to test into. They just send a standard email out to everyone who is late a few times.

Anyway, you are in the thick of it...not easy with two young ones. My first two are 20 months apart, so totally get it.

did you call me "an hysterical mental case?"
Sorry, I am not quite sure from your post 😂

The rest of the class isnt my concern. My child and my mental health are.

And as I said, from experience of the 5 different schools ive worked in, makes no difference to them either.

The OP isnt talking strolling in 15 minutes after register, they're a couple of minutes late, time kids are still hanging coats up getting drinks out their bags, milling around, chatting to friends and being ushered to sit.

You're all going on like she's waltzing in at 9:15, not a care in the world and expecting everyone to stop and praise her arrival.

If the problem is because they don't respect the school's policy then maybe. But if it's because they cannot effectively manage time, then no - incentives or sanctions do not lead to the outcomes you think they do.

Not better for EVERYONE. Better for the people in your house. But worse for the class they are going to.

As I said, if you don't get it you don't get it.

You don't have to try and understand that people are different, it can be hard for some people so don't worry about how it reflects on you. Just stop trying speaking for everyone based on your individual experience and you'll be fine.

If it were just for me, I'd make it. When it involves my son, we still wouldn't.he gets a £50 bonus for full attendance and less than 5% lates. He is STILL LATE.

I was ready to leave home at 8:35
We left at 8:47. With the luck of the gods and all 3 sets of traffic lights on green, I got him to college at 8:59.

It isnt as simple as "leave earlier" i was ready. HE was NOT.
And if anyone has ever tried to rush someone with autism who has to follow his routine regardless of the time, and not caused a meltdown, tell me how.

I learned the hard way not to sweat being a couple of minutes late. Not worth my mental health, or his.

I work in an AP, so I have met plenty of children of whom you speak of, ive been teaching for 20+ years. Ive yet to be completely failed in my methods.

There are always reasons why anyone (child or adult) doesnt want to do something. The art is finding out why and trying to help.
Its not about forcing someone to do something.
Its also understanding that in life there are things we dont want to do, but need to do.

Yeah the standing around in the playground bit is an integral part of the circle of hell that is the school run. Especially if it's cold and/or raining. You won't be the only one with a buggy covered in a rainhood that's being kicked from the inside by a furious toddler.

BUT. It's also where you make mum friends, where you get to see your child's friends, where your toddler gets to run around and feel like a big kid on nice days... They might enjoy the school run more if it's when they get to play a bit.

Good luck soldier.

What time does the school open to pupils? I think with our primary, you could drop off from 8.45 onwards. So you need to be aiming for the time that they open and then if you are a few minutes late, you still won't be late.

Try and create a routine and aim to get there well before the time that school starts.

When you give instructions to your children, start with their name so that you have their attention - Susan, put your coat on, not put your coat on Susan. I was told that they only start to listen to you at the point of hearing their name.

Toddler has to go on buggy board on way, but can walk on way back.

It is just a moment in time, but the school are right to be talking to you about it.

The wall clock in our dining room is 5 minutes fast and as its the only visible clock in the morning it keeps us on time most days.

Solidarity though, even when you think there cant possibly be anything to hold you up something always happens 🙄

I remember doing those school runs with a toddler and baby and it is hard . They will understand that . I had one child who would cry all the way to school and not want to go in (asd) . And one who wanted me to carry them constantly. One in a pram. And I swear it was always raining .
It will get easier.

Your situation is you have 3 kids. That's not unusual and I wouldn't start a conversation with the school if that is your only mitigating circumstance.

Just aim for 15 mins earlier and hopefully you'll be fine.

For all those parents insisting that regularly being a bit late for school is no big deal - if you were guaranteed a monetary bonus of £100 each day you arrived on time, would you make sure you were punctual?

Can your partner not get the kids ready whilst you’re sorting the baby’s feed and getting them dressed. You’ll likely need to get up had an hour earlier and just get in front of this. It is bad to inatill that lateness is ok for your kids, it really isn’t ok, but a bit of organisation from your side could help

They have secondary school for that. Its why I specifically mentioned primary school in my posts.

It isnt about not valuing education, its about realising that as a parent of several small children, who is temporarily at a point of struggling in the morning, realising that not getting stressed and upset over a couple of minutes lateness is better for everyone.

You're proving the point I made earlier in the post. Many parents no longer value education or have any respect for it. So how are we going to look after their kids when they become adults then? Is it fair that they will end up being funded by the growing minority of parents who have worked tirelessly an actual work ethic into their kids and taught them that life can't always be comfortable and life doesn't just revolve around them?

There are plenty of situations in which you would get equally punished for minor infringements as an adult. Many jobs would discipline/sack you if you're persistently late. Parking fines are issued if you ignore parking rules. Debts are passed to debt collectors if you're disorganised and miss credit card payments. There's plenty of examples and school aged children are plenty old enough to learn that actions have consequences.

I’m unclenched and on time. Have had my fair share of mornings from hell with trying to get kids to school and me to work (previously did a long commute too) but I stand by this being very disruptive. Of register, assembly and carpet time, or anything else that is happening. Assembly in particular must be a nightmare if kids are late as the class and teacher have left the classroom when the late ones arrive so who is fetching them? And then they come in late to disturb the whole school. What if it was 50 kids in the school doing that?

Who has to do the school run with two small children 5 days a week. It's a way to spread the load.

This is a comment you could have just thought and moved on, but instead you took the time to type it. How delightful.