School say they're monitoring lateness now and I feel sick about it

Weetabix. Surely you cut top left to bottom right in half and have 2 triangles

We are usually on the late side but get away with it due to SEND needs and being one of the furthest from school families.

I have been the mum of 3 struggling to get there, at the time we were a 5 minute walk away ! Its hard getting out the house with young kids. I told myself that school started at 8.30 not 8.40. Only thing that worked.

Do you have another school parent who lives nearby who could take your child in a couple of days a week to take the pressure off? I wouldn’t mind if someone with young children asked me for help!

I haven’t read all replies but have a meeting with the teachers and explain. I am sure they’ll understand and give support.

Ah, I feel for you here. A decade ago we had a similar situation with our son. It really irritated me as I felt the schools was tackling the visible stuff. I always ensured my child ate breakfast, remembered a jumper and PE kit, etc. but monitoring whether children have eaten and are thereby 'ready to learn' would be difficult so the school had someone stand at the gate and comment to people who were a tiny bit late.

And now - post COVID, different head - the school only mark kids as late on the register if they arrive after 9am! School officially starts at 8.45. There are reminders of the start time in newsletters but we just get a nice friendly good morning from staff at the gate, whatever time it is.

So - I think take it all with a pinch of salt! Sending good wishes your way x

I know you've said you're not coming back, but incase you do, or for anyone else. My advice (from personal experience) is to ask the teacher for a quick word, and tell them you are really struggling with the mornings because of XYZ reason (yours being a baby that is awake in the night AND a toddler as well as a very young school child and no car-I would say that is not typical and everyone manages with that so ignore those snotty comments). In my experience teachers are empathetic and reassuring when you are open and honest. They are usually only concerned if you don't care or are in denial. I've been told homework was optional for one of my children when I explained why we were struggling. I have one left in primary and we are running in last nearly every day, frequently just miss the classroom door, but when I've brought it up to apologise I've been told it's fine, they aren't worried about it because their attendance is 100% and they consistently do their homework. So as long as they know you are trying they usually cut you some slack.

As an aside, what time does your partner leave for work? Is it possible for them to take them to breakfast club when they leave for work? Also if you are embarrassed about being early (and I think you will be surprised how many turn up half an hour early) then maybe you could use breakfast club.

I had a new born, a 12 month old and a child that was at primary school.
I didn’t even get the 2 babies dressed before the school run and the 12 month old may have had a couple biscuits in the pushchair and the new born would have a feed if she was awake early enough but come 8.15/8.30 then she would had to have wait, that would have been from a few days old.
no one else noticed they were still in there bed clothes and they then would have been washed, fed and changed when I got home

Well not all of us are perfect, unfortunately. For me organising more than one child would be a Herculean effort. I also prefer to comment with encouragement rather than scorn when people ask for help. So I guess that’s two things we differ on.

Some of us have lives that are sent to try us and make sure we are always chasing our tails. You clearly have your hands full. Is there another mum you could drop them off at in the morning? Make it a quicker time away from home and easier for demanding babe and toddler. 🙂 Don’t stress it. You’re clearly a great mum to be so concerned.

Absolutely grumpy mum here. Ask to speak to the member of staff who brought this up. Explain just as you have to us. Ask for support, suggestions? Explain how the perceived criticism has made you feel. Schools speaking to parents in this way causes stress, your child will pick up on this stress about school. This should be the last thing school want to achieve.
Good luck, be brave, ask them to support you and massive hugs and love to you.
People judging on here should be ashamed of themselves, some of us mums are not perfect!

Having read all the OP’s posts, the OP has already realized what the problem is - she’s been trying to arrive at the school bang on start time instead of aiming to arrive a bit earlier to give herself a window for any issues.

I’m very much the opposite of this and it took a while for me to realize that not everyone aims to arrive early to make sure they are definitely on time.

I probably waste way too much time in the opinions of some people waiting for the start of things after arriving early but I always overestimate the timings and then add another 15 minute window to be sure.

I’m usually always the first one waiting for anything like trains, theatre performances, school bells etc.

@oBoltFire in your shoes for example - if school starts at 8.30, I’d aim to arrive for 8.25 and then work backwards - walk going okay takes 20 minutes so give it a bit of room and say 22 mins plus 5 for any unforeseen issues so leave the house at 7.55 ish.

Kids breakfast and dressed routine takes 30 mins usually so give yourself a 15-20 minute unforeseen issues and start getting at 7am-7.15.

As you said, it a few mins, not even a half hour. Hats off to you for managing what u do every day, it isnt easy.
Go easy on yourself and dont take it personally, its probs just a tick box that she has to mention it to you x

I'm sorry but reading " making weetabix triangular' made me howl. I forgot how awkward my DS could be over his weetabix 😆 this gave me a spot of PTSD 😆

Better up at 7
an hour with three kids is tough and gonna be stressful
x

For the love of God, how low is the bar? A hero for having her child only a bit late every morning. I've heard it all.

Haven't rtft but honestly get a double buggy, you won't get anywhere fast or in time with a toddler on foot. Be as organised as possible the night before right down to breakfast ready to go for the toddler in a snack pot to eat in the buggy, uniforms ready on a Sunday night for the week in a wardrobe organiser so it's just grab and go along with an outfit for each day for yourself, if you don't have to think about it every morning it's one less stress. Get up 15 mins early it makes the world of difference, tell yourself you have to be there 15 mins before you actually have to be, it allows you to have that 15 mins grace period for any unexpected chaos in the morning without being officially "late". Don't worry about getting a baby and toddler ready, get them both in the buggy in their PJs, stick a puddlesuit on the toddler nobody will ever know. And lastly, cut yourself some slack, getting 3 kids out the door in the morning is never going to go smoothly and stress free, I have one toddler and one school age and even that is chaos some mornings but the tips I have shared help massively.

Just start everything ten minutes earlier and release all guilt and worry. You are predictably late so can be predictably early. All will be well, and no one is neglected.

Quick thought- can a local friend or parent walk your child to school?

I’m surprised how many people
saying it’s all fine and relax…. It’s your kid that’s having the embarrassment of being late everyday. It’s not you that has to walk through a classroom full of kids having already started their lesson.

it’s not easy op but it is manageable. Sort your stuff the night before…. Get up a bit earlier… so what if your baby cries as you leave the house… your toddler doesn’t need shoes if in a buggy the whole time.

good luck.

You’re doing great lass don’t worry . If you’re only a few minutes late it’s not the end of the world. I’m sure you’ll find a routine soon enough that’ll work for you and the family. Personally the schools have far too much to say . You’re getting your child to school at the end of the day .

My children’s school now has a gate monitor for anyone who arrives after 08:30, they also put about it in every school newsletter (weekly) about how much missed learning time children have if they’re 10 mins late every day.
I think it must be all schools! You’re doing a great job, it’ll get easier 🫶🏼

If your child is in reception or year 1, they could be doing phonics and reading groups during morning registration with a ta. It is disruptive if one child in a group is continually late.

I’d talk to the school and explain, I worked in a small village school and our head used to offer to pick kids up in the school mini bus with the school business manager if parents were genuinely struggling to get their kids to school on time.

I was the school bursar and a long time governor and I still took one child to school in their pjs once because I could not BA to argue any more.

I was a TA for KS1, mostly working with SEN students with Autism & ADHD. I was also an MHFA for the schools i worked with.

The OP said she's there within 5-7 mins on the days she is late, its not terribly, disruptively late, they'd still be doing register and settling in.

Ultimately my point is the OP is experiencing a short term problem based on having a baby and a toddler for getting her young, school age kid to primary school, it won't last for ever, it won't impact the child's learning and it won't teach them bad habits.
Everyone going on like she's being a terrible mother and damaging her child for life needs to behave themselves.

Op I sympathise with you totally. The school run is hard work!!! I have had 2 under 2 twice and let me tell you no one has struggled like I have! I get to school just as the kids are going in usually. Im not late but never there early waiting for doors to open. The youngest is now 3 and oldest 11 and I'm sorry to tell you it is still as hard. I don't have many tips, and negotiating with a toddler is truly hard work but I'd try for your own peace of mind just to at least get your child in on time so you don't worry about it.