School say they're monitoring lateness now and I feel sick about it

OP sorry to ask again but is it very late you are or a few minutes late but it’s every day?

Think teacher was just giving you the heads up so you are aware. The baby and toddler do not need to be ready for the day, just the school goer. Go straight home , calm things down and get ready at your own pace . Baby old enough to have something in its hand in buggy ? Wellies will do for toddler . Thinking it doesnt matter isn't working in this school. Don't feel bad it happens a lot , mornings can be horrendous with small kids . Solidarity.💐

My son's school tried that with me. We are often half an hour late but he is autistic with an ehcp and a sister on the autism pathway at secondary school who I struggle to get to school so my mornings are sheer hell (and a baby and we live 9 miles away from school). They soon stopped giving me grief when it became apparent I was struggling so badly. Just explain things to the school they should support you rather than penalise

((HUG))

Sometimes life is tricky!

Nothing bad will come of it - SS aren't going to rock up & take your kids. The school isn't going to expel your child. Not sure what else you're worried about, but you need to stop, because nothing bad will happen.

However, as you have said yourself, you do need to get your child to school on time. This is for your child's benefit (it's horrible being 'the late kid', to stop the disruption to the rest if the class (it's not fair in the other kids or the staff ( t's disruptive whether it's 5 minutes or 50) AND. Importantly for YOU. You don't need the stress either.

I know it's hard when you're up with the baby in the night, but getting up 15 minutes earlier will make a huge difference and won't make any difference to how tired you are.

Feed the baby earlier & if they won't take it they'll have to wait until you get another opportunity to feed them, they'll soon get used to the routine.

the toddler, can have something in the buggy if they need to, toast, banana etc.

it won't last forever, but you do need to prioritise getting your eldest to school on time. As well as not disrupting everyone else, you need to be teaching them that it's important.

set your alarm earlier for tomorrow 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼the baby sleeps better tonight 🤗

Oh goodness do tell the school that you have a small non sleeping baby and toddler and mornings are tough! They will know that the situation will likely get easier in a month or two. For sure take some of the steps suggested if they are feasible but I really wouldn’t stress about this right now.

If you are often a few minutes late - you need to aim to get there ten minutes earlier - as I think you have realised

everyone know babies don’t sleep and toddlers can be difficult , you don’t need special allowances for normal life

but they don’t, do they? Some people don’t even take their children to school if it doesn’t suit them.

hope you’re having fun spreading your joy to the world!

OP - you’re doing your best. Now they’ve raised it (and could have been a bit gentler), you can figure out how to cut corners.

ask yourself ‘how can I get eldest to school on time in anyway way possible whilst keeping the rest of us alive?’!

and think of as many ways possible, from friends, getting there in PJs (you and babies, not them!), breakfast club, partner, etc.

might not be pretty but I bet you can do it 💕💕

(and remember - one day, these kids will be picking YOU up.. I promise, it will happen 💕💕)

Try not to worry, but you do really need to try and get to school on time. It’s horrible for children to be late for school all the time. For the children themselves I mean.

It’s not your eldest(?) child’s fault you kept having more, you need to meet their needs too

It’s because it shows that you are struggling with normal everyday tasks, which is often a sign of neglect so they are just doing their job.

A shoeless toddler raging at the world from a very securely fastened buggy (add reins and clip those onto it at well) and a baby either in a sling or in the second part of a dual/tandem buggy whilst in the school playground for ten minutes is absolutely fine. Stick socks and an extra blanket in the hood so that when the raging fades or cold toes focus their mind somewhat, you can put them on, leaving your school age child to enjoy walking and talking to you or running off to meet their friends.

In addition, feeding the baby slightly earlier to get out of the door sooner will really help.

I’m a November baby and my brother had just started school two months earlier, my sister was 20 months old. My mum says she had to push me screaming in the pram every day and get looks from other parents because otherwise she wouldn’t have got out of the house.

It will get easier, but I would prioritise getting to school on time for a while to avoid the stress of further comments (although I think school should cut you some slack!)

It’s hard, even with contingency built in, especially when there are things you can’t control e.g. one of them needing a poo/having a poonani.

If you are only a few minutes late, could you start your day 15 minutes earlier to take some of the pressure off?

It's difficult with children at that age, but it does get easier.

Everything @icallshade said!

I set an alarm on my phone to go off 15 minutes before we need to leave to get DD to preschool. That’s the “drop everything, shoes on” alarm because in my head “we only need shoes and coats, it’s a 2 minute job” but it always ends up being 10.

I also have a bag for life carabiner clipped to the pram and anything I haven’t got time to juggle gets chucked in that and dealt with at the other end, eg water bottle, jumper they say they don’t want but you know they will later.

Also you’ll just get into a routine then the baby’s pattern will shift and you’ll be on the back foot again 🙃. Good luck!

Everyone else does NOT manage it. Don’t be so bloody glib.

Forgot to say - very very occasionally we did get there for 8:30am (it happened at least twice in 10 years! 😂) which meant I got to hang around looking smug with all the early arrival parents. It was most gratifying!

It's not going to come to anything but im a big believer in starting the day right for children, and going forward it potentially teaches your child that tardiness is acceptable.

Im sure you do all of this but in case any of it helps, these things work for me!
-always get up and sort myself before the kids get up

• sort drinks and lunch boxes (where possible) the night before
• bags packed and strapped onto pushchair the night before

• clothes out for everyone ready (although nothing wrong with just chucking a coat and blanket on the littles!)
• make sure the kids are up by a set time
• simple breakfasts- toast, fresh fruit, yoghurt etc
• take easy 'snack breakfasts' to tide over the little ones- eg banana, yoghurt pouches etc

Hope you get there on time next time 🙂

So, the discussion they have it, “we’ve noticed you’re struggling to get in in time, how are you doing, is there anything we can do to support you”

You don’t go straight in with “we’re all watching you….”

If it's a few minutes late each time, that's promising because that in itself is kind of regular.

So if you regularly get up earlier and leave earlier, you should be on time.

When I used to walk back from the school in the mornings, I'd often see exactly the same families at 9.05am when school started at 9am.

I couldn't fathom how they could be so regularly late.

I mean you could set your watch by them.

Sorry but everyone else manages it. Leave earlier, it’s not difficult.

The trick is to convince yourself that you MUST get there 10 to 15 minutes before you actually need to be there.

That was what I did when mine were in primary. Doors were open between 8:35 and 8:45am. I had 8:30am as my “time I must be there”.

We were “late” pretty much every bloody day because someone always needed a poo or lost a shoe or couldn’t find their book bag or was having a tantrum about my lack of ability to make Weetabix triangular.

So I was stressed on the way to school every day.

But that meant we got there at 8:37am which actually was just fine.

I feel for you op. Tiny baby and managing the school run with 2 kids is rough. Try waking up 20min earlier and get there earlier instead. The kids might still have the tantrum etc but it will be a new earlier time

Does the school know about your family? Certainly at ours they would have cut you a little slack.