School say they're monitoring lateness now and I feel sick about it

There's some mean bitches on MN, aren't there?

If that means packing your babies / toddlers into the car screaming and hungry and in their pyjamas then so be it. They won’t be hurt if their breakfast is delayed by an hour.

from pollymere reply at 13:00, which is what Opolope was replying to.

Of course she isn’t damaging her child by being late a few times. However, the parents I found were always late when I taught a class are very often the same parents who are late repeatedly the years after that. Either you were a TA a while ago as time is really so precious now in schools or your schools were less strict but in my school a child 5-10 minutes late will have missed part of the input to the first lesson. Many of us have had small age gaps and can remember how hard it is.

Many, many of us have been there and there's lots of good advice here. Assuming toddler and baby are in a double buggy or buggy and sling, does the school age child have a scooter? At least that way the walk will be quick.
Yes, change your mindset to aim at 5 mins before then if you're a couple of minutes late, you're early!
One thing - if you're flustered, the toddler will pick up on it and is likely to play up more. So a more organised and relaxed start to the day will become an easier start to the day.
I would talk to the teacher to let them know your situation and reassure them that you know that school is important, that arriving on time is important, and and that you have a new plan in place to tackle it, but could they cut you some slack in the meantime. I think they are trying to prevent a recurring and possibly worsening problem.

Not read all the replies, but the younger two don’t have to be dressed for the day.

Coats over pjs in the buggy is fine. You can deal with them once you are home.

Just concentrate on getting the school child ready.

Thats what I used to do.

Breakfast could be a bagel and a banana that can be eaten on the walk in.

I remember these days only too well. My eldest started school in the January, youngest was born 2 weeks later. 2 year old in the middle refused to be rushed for anything. He's still the same at 30! I just used to shove the small 2 in a double buggy, toddler in his pyjamas, coat and wellies. Wrap the baby in a blanket and put the rain cover on. We all survived You will too - honest!
BUT - that baby is now a Reception teacher. She loves her little ones and likes to greet them all as they arrive. She was hauled into the head teacher this week and given a dress down for 40 minutes because she is starting her register late. Late because she wants to greet every child - including the persistently late. She was sobbing after work this week because she doesn't know how to resolve this. So... I suspect your teacher may be in a similar position and is trying to get her day started promptly. I'm sure she doesn't feel you are a bad or failing mother. You've had loads of really good advice on here. Big hugs. It gets easier xx

why would anyone leave a baby screaming hungry for one hour

That's what the pp i was replying to said. If you've got a problem with it, take it up with them, not me.

why would anyone leave a baby screaming hungry for one hour? It's the school run, not a trek to the Amazon?

It's rare that babies are that full up in the morning that they refuse to feed full stop until they suddenly change their mind the second you put your coat on 😂

No, I don't need to take a look at myself, because I am organised so I don't need to make my kids late for school because of their siblings, but thanks.

Regularly leaving a baby screaming hungry for an hour IS neglecting their needs. That's the quote from the pp I was replying to, that's non negotiable.

The rest is up to your standards as a parent - I agree none of them is going to do significant harm as an occasional thing but for it to happen regularly to prioritise getting to school on time above all else? Nah, you have to take a look at yourself.

but you don't "neglect" the needs of your other children because one has a later breakfast and the other one get dressed later too.

No one is "neglected" because his nappy is not changed within 30 seconds, a baby is not picked up the second he's crying or the toddler is left having a temper tantrum. Otherwise, no one would ever go on the motorway, board a plan, have a shower, go do the food shop or do anything than stay home *which would be far more neglectful

What on earth makes you think I don't???? That's EXACTLY why I don't think neglecting the needs of some of my children should be a priority to make sure one of them always comes first.

What an odd thing to immediately assume that I don't have kids / don't do the school run!

😂 No... In Ireland anything up to fifteen minutes after the suggested time is acceptable. In fact, it's preferential.

She says its 3 to 7 minutes. In Ireland thats on time!

Stop calling other women bitches. It stinks of internalised misogyny 🤮

The school needs to monitor lateness and then work to HELP people who are obviously struggling. It sounds like you're having a few difficulties with being punctual for school. They may have suggestions to help, or understand it's a temporary blip.

Unfortunately, your child can't continually be late for school. It genuinely affects learning. Hopefully they can help you work out a resolution.

I sincerely doubt it.

Do you have 3+ kids that you have to ferry alone for the school run? If not I wonder why / how you feel qualified to judge what actual parents living OP’s experience do?

I hate this reply! No, your other children's needs are just as valid. I'm not suggesting punctuality isn't important and not to try, but to continuosly neglect the needs of your hungry baby / upset toddler so you prioritise one thing above all else and 'tow the line' of authority - that's a bit performative to me, good little sheep.

Ah OP I really feel for you: I’d find this really upsetting. I do not think it’s a big deal, but when you’re trying so hard as mum it would sting to be pulled up.

You will definitely be able to improve your punctuality. I can really understand why your heart is sinking at the thought of having to do MORE when you are already doing SO MUCH. But you can do it! You’re only a few mins late so clearly managing to run somewhat on time, so just a small shift needed.

Also, it sounds like you need a break! Things will get better as your little one sleeps more.

Good luck! You’re a loving mum, just juggling a lot, and you can do this.

Okay so this is about how you manage your morning priorities. The school aged child should ALWAYS be priotised. If that means packing your babies / toddlers into the car screaming and hungry and in their pyjamas then so be it. They won’t be hurt if their breakfast is delayed by an hour.

I say this as someone with three kids, youngest is a baby. I will literally change the baby’s nappy in the carpark after the school run.

God, this place is fucking horrible sometimes.

Hope you’re ok Op - bear in mind that some teachers are jobsworths who will quite enjoy taking a parent aside and telling them off for being a few minutes late a couple of times.

There is a right way for them to go about this if they’re concerned but it really sounds like that teacher just wanted to be a bit snarky. “Monitoring” you ffs?

I had 4 dcs to get to school on time and usually managed it but I had very well behaved kids and lived 2 mins from the school - I’d never judge another mum for being a bit late & harassed in the morning.

I knew you’d get all the bitches on here wanting to stick the boot in - it’s best not to post on Mn about these things when you’re upset as you’ll just get a load of sad individuals enjoying your misery to make themselves feel superior in their own pathetic little lives!

What are the school going to do about it? A public flogging in the town square? Honestly, I have realized over the years, my kids are in their 40s now, that schools think they have more power than they actually do. I had very little respect for arsehole teachers who tried to wield their power, if they don't get 100% , so bluddy what. I would ask her next time, so what would you suggest with the baby blah blah blah and bore her with all the tiny details, and then tell her to fuck off (in you head only of course) and then walk away - seriously, what are they going to do about it???????????

don’t feel bad. If all that’s happening is you’re a few mins late to school each day with dressed and fully fed kids I think you’re doing an grand job!!

yes they have to safeguard this stuff but I’m sure now you’ll up the buck and do whatever it is you need to do

honestly you’re doing super good mama. It’s the hardest job in the world and your kids are dressed. Fed and happy. Can’t be worse than that ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

The only thing that worked for me was pretending I needed to be there 15 minutes before I actually did. That meant while I was usually 'late', I never really was.