School say they're monitoring lateness now and I feel sick about it

but it's that simple, how do you think other parents manage?
Do you think everyone else is superwoman (or superman) and magically get obedient children click their fingers and be ready in 30 seconds?

dont like standing at the school gate WHO does?

We ALL struggle ,and most of us don't have a partner who has nothing better to do in the morning than getting the kids ready.

The difference is the mindset, if it's non-negotiable to be on time, you are on time. If you think it doesn't matter, and you are more important than everyone else so they can fit around your schedule, then you are late.

I really won’t. Take a good look at what they teach, it’s not really up to much.

As a primary school teacher, it’s actually quite disruptive to have a child come in late to the class room every day. You’re half way delivering the input for the lesson and a child walks in. It interrupts everyone, because they then have to out their things away and get their equipment from their drawer. You can lose the flow of the lesson, and so can the other children in the class. Then instead of helping other children, you have to go over the input all over again with the child who missed it. We don’t mind when it’s once or twice, but when it’s every day it interrupts valuable learning time.

Oh my goodness, stop being such a judgemental bully. What an awful person you are. Do better.

Get up early, set out early. I have 3 children all breastfed and I had to walk the older 2 to school/nursery still feeding the youngest. You just need a better morning routine and start earlier. Breastfeed the baby on waking, leave enough time to top them up right before leaving, so you have everyone shoes on ready to go. You can also leave the baby in their babygrow and wash them when you get back (obviously change their nappy!). Have the pram sorted, bags done (my husband used to do packed lunches and packed their bags, he also did their breakfast too before he left for work at 7am), so all you do once you finish that feed is put baby in pram and round everyone up to leave. There's no excuse for being late if you walk other than not getting up early enough and poor planning. You can nap when you get home if you can't manage to get up earlier (assuming you are still off work). I used to arrive at least 10min early as I always left extra time. I actually find it much more difficult getting 3 kids to school and myself to work than when I had to do the school run back then, I have to get up much earlier now.

You just need a better routine and if you have a husband have him do some jobs before he leaves for work. Aim to arrive early everyday, my kids have never been late ever.

My three year old seems to time his poo in a nappy just as I am about to leave. Very annoying!

I really empathise and only have two kids!

We'd be about to leave and be 5 mins early, and then preschooler would poo their pants or run away and refuse to get in buggy, or one of them would have a huge tantrum and we wouldn't be able to leave because I couldn't carry a tantrumming 4 yo all the way to school on foot by themselves, let alone with a younger child in tow. The rigidity of school hours doesn't work for some families / kids so cut yourself some slack.

Breakfast club actually worked well because that way 1. They were never late 2. Didn't have to make breakfast 3. There was a lot more flex on arrival time so no standing around in the pouring rain etc.

Is that something you can consider?

I disagree. When I had PND and a baby who cried constantly at night it was all I could do to drag myself out of bed in the morning .
I was doing really well to get up and get my preschooler there by 9:30.
I couldn’t have got up 30 mins earlier . I did pack bags the night before and train my preschooler to be incredibly independent - he had to be.

Don’t judge until you have walked in these shoes. Thank god for the teacher who hugged me when I sobbed on her shoulder for being 15 mins late again and told me I was doing a good job. So are you OP . This will get easier.

I think anyone that gets three children of different ages out of the door everyone morning on a walking school run and gets them there within a few mins of the official time is an absolute hero. I take my hat off to you. One child here and live extremely close to the school, and it’s still a struggle. You’re a superhero in my book!

Better late than never. It is very difficult when you have little ones too, plenty of good advice on this thread. Good luck, you can do this.

Op, I was the kid who was always taken in late. It's awful, you feel a right twat, everyone else is pissed off and it draws so much attention. You're being cruel to your eldest here.

Thing is though the vast majority of parents will have a baby or toddler as well as a school aged child at some point while doing the school run. it sounds like you’ve got into a routine that doesn’t quite work time wise. You might find when the clocks change you’ll reset a bit anyway but you need to do something different to shake things up a bit.

I have very rarely been a gate opening person but I’ve only been late once or twice in nearly a decade of nursery/school runs. One of my neighbours is the most punctual person ever. I don’t think she has ever been there anything less than 5 minutes early even when she had 3 under 4. You could set a watch by her
.

You're trying your best, it'll take a few goes to nail the perfect routine for you although I actually think every year throws up something 😅

Mine are grown, I've experienced every scenario possible, I found the best things that worked was to have as much as physically possible done the night before, a checklist on the door of everything I had to have leaving that morning, I've 5 kids so there was a few different things needed each day.

The main one after having everything done was, work out how long it took me to get ready, shower etc whatever you do, include a drink, snack for yourself, breakfast on table for kids, then whatever that amount of time was I set my alarm to the time before I needed to wake kids, so if it took me an hour and the kids had to be up by 7am I set my clock for 6am, you get used to getting up earlier, when you're ready things will move more easily as you can focus on them as you're ready.

It can be so difficult at times and honestly the amount of things I stressed about over the years really wasn't worth it when I look back.

Sleepless nights are fuckers x

Are you quite well?

I wasn't being rude when i suggested you might want to see a doctor OP, it just sounds like you are suffering with a lot of anxiety.

What helped me a friend taught me this. Lay up for breakfast the night before. Put their clothes on the radiator so they're warm to put on.

Could you look on marketplace for a cheap collapsible double buggy and strap toddler in. My grandson was a little beggar with the board. I bought some old fashioned reins and strapped him up. I soon lost them to his mum. 😄

A teacher is being paid to be there, an adult, and responsible for looking after numerous young children. A child is a child, and goes to school (supposedly) for his/her own benefit. It’s not the same at all?

Your worry tells me you are a great mum . I think any school not giving a mum with a newborn a break are vile ! Honestly I can’t grasp why anyone would make this such a formal thing !

Is there a breakfast club your partner could drop off at or you could drop off at if it works better for your routine? Hopefully there have been a few helpful suggestions amongst the criticism. Getting 3 young children out of the house when you are lacking in sleep isn't easy.

It really shouldn't have taken to the second page before someone asked if your partner could help in the morning? Or is there a friend or neighbour who could take your child at school until the baby is in a better routine?

I did the school run many a time with a screaming baby in the pram and a toddler having a meltdown about no shoes/wrong coat but we got DD1 to school and then I focused on them.

I found a double buggy was the biggest help - we had a pram with a toddler seat over the top, it was a godsend as toddler didn't need shoes etc and could go under the raincover with the baby on cold winter mornings. Saved my sanity for that 1st year with the baby as whatever the toddler was doing, she got strapped in and was safely contained! It gets easier, honestly.

Such a gracious post OP.
Clearly you listened. You understood what people were saying and you considered and took that on. Good for you!
This is where the thread should have ended. At least,this is where the rude, unhelpful and nasty posts should have stopped. It really, really highlights that people just want to be unpleasant just for the sake of it.
I have my fingers crossed for you. I know it's not easy when everything feels so overwhelming but I can 'feel' your resolve 😊

Another daft example of school in the uk thinking they’re the police. I would be so annoyed at this - surely the teacher has other more important things to worry about. how often are you late?? I can’t believe it’s three/four/five times a week. If so then you do need to leave earlier. If it’s once every few weeks I’d just apologise and carry on with life.

having said that, our school the gate shuts at 9:05. We have to drop off at gate and aren’t allowed in at drop up or pick up- and if you’re late you have to come back at break time!!!
My friend once dropped her kids over the gate when she was late, the next week we had a letter to all parents specifically asking us to not do that. I think it’s really unwelcoming of the school that they don’t let us in, but it does keep it quick and everyone knows you absolutely cannot be late or your day is a mess.

I'm sorry but I think that might be the most unhelpful thing I've heard today. And I've been listening to Trump!

This! I've been there, done that and it's bloody hard. I work in a school now and I can honestly say that nobody is judging you. They are just getting in early to stop it becoming a bigger issue.

Is there a window of time where the door is open? E.g. 8.45-55. Aim for 8.40.