School say they're monitoring lateness now and I feel sick about it

but all children are "difficult", it's so ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

It's not a case of parents being lucky because they are on time, vs parents unlucky, it's a question of priorities.

Parent disorganised, stressed, rushing or sprinting to be less late, stressing out everyone else? How could that benefit any child?

Adding to the disruption to the entire class which these parents don't care about ,it;s their child who should be the priority, and who deserve to arrive at school in a state of stress and anxiety

They do if they prioritise it and deem it important. I get it, it’s hard, but being on time is important and impacts on the other 29 dc who did get there on time. I did the school run with dd1 and toddler twins who screamed every time dd1 went into school and left them. It was a rubbish part of the day for everyone to witness the double tantrums. No one is saying it’s easy but many, many parents manage it.

From a teaching and learning persepective , lateness is so disruptive to both the tardy child and the class.
It's embarrassing for the child to come in late. And the rest of the class may be settled, have begun a lesson which all has to be explained to the latecomer.
It disrupts everyone .
I don't think parents appreciate what a nuisance it can be when you are trying run a system. There is one child in a class I work with who misses my phonics lesson every single morning !!!
I have 5 kids myself , all who were two years apart and never slept till they were 3 so I know how hard it is . But lateness is a bad habit and it can be sorted if you want to sort it .

I hope you are ok OP. I think most parents struggle with something to be honest. For some people it’s life/school admin. For me it’s keeping the house clean and tidy. For other people like yourself it’s getting the kids to school on time.

I’m sure some people who are constantly late judge me on not hoovering enough!

I always prioritise getting the kids on time above almost everything. Here are my tips.

Think what time you need to be at school at comfortably, then what time you need to leave the house, then what time you need to get up to be able to leave without stressing. So for us, we have to be at school for 9, but I don’t like getting there last minute so I aim for 8.50. It takes 20 minutes to walk, so I aim to leave at 8.30. If we cycle or go by car it doesn’t take so long but we still leave at 8.30 because it’s not a big deal or a waste of time to have to wait for the gates to open at 8.45. For us, it takes an hour to get ready comfortably, so I aim to get up for 7.30. It may take you longer with 3 younger children. Inevitably we don’t always end up leaving at 8.30 if someone has lost a glove or is having a bad morning.

We are rarely early but I’ve only been late a couple of times in 6 years.

@Jumimo yes some people do manage it. Others don’t. Some people are different. Children are different and sometimes difficult. Are you aware of that?

'Everyone else' doesn't manage it so don't beat yourself up about that. Most people manage it most of the time and at some point you will be one of those people. Some people don't manage it some of the time and many, many, many of us have been there at one point or another. You're not unusual and you're doing you're best. Recognising that you're not abnormal in this will help calm your anxiety a little bit.

using the word "bully" repeatedly in 2 sentences is not making it more true.

You don't agree with the poster, it's a free country, but there has been no bullying whatsoever. It's different opinion ,and I agree with the poster you are so irate with.

School are always sending out messages about how much it costs them in staff time and resources to register and settle the late kids. I have zero experience other than my interpretation of what I've witnessed, but does feel to me most schools can tell the difference between families who are actively trying to get there on time and care that they are late, vs the ones consistently rocking up sometime between 9&930 without a care in the world. I'm often at school for one reason or another and it's usually the same families turning up late. Some of them are literally strolling up the road even though school started 20 minutes ago. They've stopped to collect flowers on the way etc. One mum said 'I'd rather we take our time and enjoy the walk together than turn up sweaty and stressed! It's only primary!'. I don't know anyone's story, maybe there's a really legit reason the same people are consistently late, but the impression seems to matter. So OP imo the fact that you're trying should count for a lot!

No one will die. Nothing bad will happen if kids are late but school are obligated to mention it. You’re doing your best. Give yourself grace and ignore the critical posts. I was one of those mothers when kids were younger. Always scraping it. My Apple Watch used to ping ‘do you want to track your workout?’ on the school run as I was literally running behind their scooters when they got older. We always just lost track of time and were always ‘just in time’. Or occasionally late. Don’t stress. As long as your children are loved, fed, safe, and getting to school (albeit a wee bit late) you’re doing grand.

I thought I lacked empathy.

I'm an attendance officer in school and I always see posts like this and feel like I should offer some genuine and accurate advice, especially when you're worrying about it. I also have a 10 month old that also is due a bottle just before the school run. Babies don't care if you need to set off do they! They also don't care that it's really unideal when they poo as you're walking out the door!

Just for reassurance though, I send messages and letters to parents to tell them that we're monitoring punctuality, it's just something we have to do, it's more of a gentle push to aim for earlier. In reality, no school is going to submit the forms to your local authority for a fine over a few minutes late in a morning, if they did, they wouldn't accept that anyway. If your child was missing their morning mark every morning and rocking up half way through their first lesson then that's different. From personal experience though If a parent rings me on the back end of a letter I've sent and just explains their situation, I'm human, and a mum, and I do understand. 'Monitoring' for me is them just saying they've noticed it so they're mentioning it for you to try improve it. Honestly though it's not something to overthink or worry about, you have to jump through hoops to fine parents for attendance since the changes came in last year. Numerous meetings, early help referrals, 'ATTEND' plans have to be done before it gets to that, even at that point it's not an easy process for a school..so don't worry x
(people usually jump on me for saying this type of thing but I'm a mum and a human over anything else)! X

Absolutely a bully. Own it. You made up your own reasons so you could kick another mum who is clearly feeling down. That is classic bullying behaviour. Anyway, good night to you, you horrid little bully. I hope your children do not take after you.

Out of interest OP why do you think you'll feel daft standing around waiting for the gate /classroom door to open?

Do you imagine you'll be stood waiting on your own? You won't be.

Guarantee it there'll be a good few desperately waiting for the door or gate to open because they've got to dash straight off for work and they actually need to drop off as early as possible in order to get to work on time.

Not a bully. Just observing the real reasons behind the OP's behaviour.

Don't see this as judgement OP, rather a kick up the butt to do things differently.
Your child needs to be at school on time. Her needs are the most important at that time of day. Not the baby's feed, not the toddler's bad behaviour.
Get a cheap double buggy. Or get the toddler to walk in bare feet and take some flip flops he can quickly change into (10 metres down the road) when reality sinks in. Forget the feed until child is safely dispatched.
And leave the house earlier.

Just seen more recent posts - yet more perfect people decide to put the boot in. Are you for real or are you agents provocateur trying to create drama and bad feeling? (Bravo fannywammy by the way - totally agree with you).

It doesn't help to call someone " a bully" simply because you disagree with them.

It's a fact that it's always the same people who are late, always the same who are casual about time while everyone else make efforts to be on time - everyone is struggling, everyone has kids to take to school, that's the point

Please try not to be stressed - its fairly standard. for a time I worked on a. school reception and was part of the monitoring. Its not a bid deal. TBH it frustrated me that schools are like this (im more a free spirit). liek you im the sort of perosn to get worried by something like this.

If you say so.

Sounds awful for you. We get a % score if late so effectively everyone has lateness monitored. I've let my kids be late when they are well enough to go to school but ill enough to need more sleep. Your sleep is important for getting your child safely to school and that safety has to come first. It's totally understandable with a baby that you might not be able to get to school on time. What are the school going to do about it anyway? Probably just guilt tripping.

Get up earlier and get sorted earlier. Leave plenty of time, the vast majority of kids get to school on time. It’s not exactly unachievable.

Jumino As can be seen from this thread, "everyone else" does not manage it. oBoltFire is obviously very stressed and upset at the moment and such self-satisfied and censorious comments are hardly going to help. Most people have tried to be supportive by offering ideas that might be helpful.

OP - I hope some of the advice on here is helpful to you.

we were always a few minutes late.... the school were ok with it because i explained the situation we were having (ds has asd and getting him out the house was a battle as he HATED the morning playground chaos)

We got permission to be 5 mins after the bell so it was quieter, and we managed that without issue or argument.

It did make me laugh a little though.. other parents start to spot you and set their clock by you, you become a 'i'm late' marker - . they know if they see you, that they're running late. DS used to have the odd good day, once in a blue moon we'd be on time or a smidge early (And had permission to go inside if that happened) and the PANIC on the other parents faces when they thought they were late kept me chuckling all day.

Don't sweat it OP, explain what is going on, and make some small adjustments to your routine, it'll resolve as both baby/toddler get older with time.

Good work with the bullying, you bully. Do you feel better about yourself when you kick someone who is down?

5 minutes late every day over the course of an academic year is over 15 hours lost. I’m the sole admin assistant in a primary school of over 200 children and lateness is a pain in the arse. It is disruptive to staff and other children and is embarrassing for the late child. Unfortunately, it is usually the same people every day. 99% of parents can turn up on time. Those parents have equally busy lives and could also come up with array of excuses why they could be late. Take this as a wake-up call to organise yourself.

We had one child who was repeatedly late ‘due to traffic’. Surely the obvious answer was to leave 5 minutes early!! How would the parent have felt if their child’s teacher was 5 minutes late every day. Good timekeeping and dependability is an important habit to instil in our children. I say to my own - imagine you are relying on a surgeon to perform life-saving surgery on you; would you want them to be late or to cancel at the last minute.

I’m no saint. I was slapped on the wrist for tardiness in a previous job - just a couple of minutes here and there. The excuse in my head was that I often worked through lunch and frequently worked late. But my manager was right - I should have arrived on time. I’m glad they called me out. I was embarrassed at the time but learned my lesson. I’m sure you don’t enjoy being late. Don’t take the school’s rebuke to heart - move on positively.