Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does society hate fat people

235 replies

welshcakes4 · 21/01/2026 17:10

For most of my 20s, I struggled with being overweight, mainly because of my unhealthy eating habits and not exercising enough. I definitely turned to food for comfort, especially when I was feeling down. I’ve never really been a drinker, smoker or taken drugs, so food was my go to. I’m 32 now and I’ve completely changed my life around. I’ve adopted a much healthier lifestyle and lost 4 stone, which has made me feel so much happier. Since I’ve slimmed down, I’ve noticed a big difference in how people treat me, especially men, but women too. Their attitudes have shifted, and they seem a lot friendlier now. I know this is a bigger issue, just look online and you’ll see all the nasty comments and jokes about overweight people. I came across one earlier, and it was surprisingly the women who were being vile.

It’s fine to disagree with someone’s choices. I guess the same could be said for alcoholics, drug addicts, etc, but why all the hate and vitriol? Why are we treated like second class citizens? We’re not bad people, we just have our struggles with food. We haven’t killed or harmed anyone. It’s so strange to me that people can get so worked up and angry over someone being overweight. I’ve genuinely never understood this.

OP posts:
SisterTeatime · 21/01/2026 19:26

I have couple of theories -

People are afraid of being fat and feel
that judging and shaming others will ward this off in some way, as it must be the person’s own fault and can therefore never happen to them - a bit like victim-blaming in cases of rape or even scams.

People (consciously or otherwise) associate fatness with self-neglect and find it upsetting or disturbing, a bit like seeing people with no teeth, incredibly thin people, obvious drug or alcohol addicts, or even obviously heavy smokers.

Fat women in fashion and advertising media are usually depicted in a much more sexual way than thinner women, who are depicted in a range of ways. I suspect there may be something in this that affects how people view larger women in general, as ‘too much’ in more ways than one.

People are fed up with ‘body positivity’ as part of what might loosely be called ‘woke’ and feel they need to assert their lack of acceptance in some way.

its obvious that cultural factors are huge, as attitudes to fat people vary enormously across time and place, so I don’t think much of this is as innate as we might like to think, more culturally ingrained.

edited as autocorrect changed ‘fat’ to ‘gay’ 🙄

tectonicplates · 21/01/2026 19:24

Something that needs mentioning: I’ve noticed some of the fat-hating people out there seem very annoyed with people using weight loss injections, on the grounds that it’s “cheating”. People enjoy feeling superior and sneering at people for being lazy, and as soon as someone loses the weight it means sneery people no longer have someone to harass, so they have a go at them for their chosen weight loss methods instead because they can no longer tut at them for taking up space.

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 19:20

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:16

You think society 'hates' women who are thin, but not skinny or bony looking or close to being underweight? I find this hard to believe, bearing in mind how 90% of celebrities are thin.

just read threads on this forum, how nasty it turns when posters fall over themselves to mock perfectly normal behaviour and accuse others to be under-eater, or lying or a lot worst not worth repeating.

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 19:19

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:15

I don't have a list. Google is helpful though:
REVEALED: The Professions Where Tattoos Are Still Taboo. - HR News

the survey of a few random doesn't mean tattoos must be covered, when primary school teachers don't hide theirs, neither do corporate and city staff. Tattoos are everywhere.

I can't comment on judges because I haven't been in court in a while 😂

123123again · 21/01/2026 19:19

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/01/2026 19:03

I mean, overweight and obese people make up over two thirds of British society, less than a third of the population is a normal / healthy weight, and of that third a decent proportion more will be at the “somewhat wobbly” end of the healthy BMI range rather than the “thin and toned” end. So the overwhelming majority of society is not slim. If “society hates fat people” then surely it’s up to that overwhelming majority to work out why that is and do something about their own viewpoint.

Edited

What do you thing WLI’s are?
Society is absolutely still buying in to being thin.

TheFrendo · 21/01/2026 19:18

Evolution/anthropology.

a) You have eaten more than your share of the food.
b) You are less healthy therefore not a good mate/less useful to the tribe.
c) You are not following group conduct rules.

TheBirthdayBall · 21/01/2026 19:18

LucyVida · 21/01/2026 19:07

Society hates thin women too.

Social media is full of larger women declaring they’re more feminine, ‘the real deal’, with the implication being those of us who struggle to put on weight aren’t. Apparently we’re neurotic, don’t like food, and men hate our ‘angles’. I can’t call someone fat but they can comment on my weight.

It’s best to not take it personally though isn’t it? Unhappy people will always turn their attention away from themselves.

Yes, agreed. I’m skinny and find it so weird and socially inept when people feel the need to comment on my appearance.

I empathise with overweight people. I’ve never understood why people are so angered by it.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:16

LucyVida · 21/01/2026 19:13

I would say society (or certain parts of it) hates women who are skinny or too thin, not those who are just thin.

Not in my experience.

You think society 'hates' women who are thin, but not skinny or bony looking or close to being underweight? I find this hard to believe, bearing in mind how 90% of celebrities are thin.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:15

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 19:09

such as?

I don't have a list. Google is helpful though:
REVEALED: The Professions Where Tattoos Are Still Taboo. - HR News

LucyVida · 21/01/2026 19:13

I would say society (or certain parts of it) hates women who are skinny or too thin, not those who are just thin.

Not in my experience.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:11

LowdermilkPark · 21/01/2026 19:04

No, because the flight will be uncomfortable for the tall person who might have their knees under their chin. They won’t be encroaching onto their neighbours seat and touching them because of it.

On a flight maybe, but in a train or tram a tall person can definitely infringe on another person's space.

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 19:11

LucyVida · 21/01/2026 19:07

Society hates thin women too.

Social media is full of larger women declaring they’re more feminine, ‘the real deal’, with the implication being those of us who struggle to put on weight aren’t. Apparently we’re neurotic, don’t like food, and men hate our ‘angles’. I can’t call someone fat but they can comment on my weight.

It’s best to not take it personally though isn’t it? Unhappy people will always turn their attention away from themselves.

I don't think it's society, it's jealous women, usually on the larger side (or they wouldn't be jealous)

They are easily ignored, and more importantly, easily recognisable.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:10

LucyVida · 21/01/2026 19:07

Society hates thin women too.

Social media is full of larger women declaring they’re more feminine, ‘the real deal’, with the implication being those of us who struggle to put on weight aren’t. Apparently we’re neurotic, don’t like food, and men hate our ‘angles’. I can’t call someone fat but they can comment on my weight.

It’s best to not take it personally though isn’t it? Unhappy people will always turn their attention away from themselves.

I would say society (or certain parts of it) hates women who are skinny or too thin, not those who are just thin.

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 19:09

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:06

I disagree. There are still plenty of jobs where they have to be covered up.

such as?

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:07

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 18:59

wow

so you are a tattoo hater? You know how many members of the royal family have tattoos? (that we know of, I am not perving on all their bikini photos😂)

There's nothing "cheap" about a tattoo

I didn't say tattoos are cheap. Read again. I was quoting!

As for the Royal Family, I couldn't care less what they look like.

LucyVida · 21/01/2026 19:07

Society hates thin women too.

Social media is full of larger women declaring they’re more feminine, ‘the real deal’, with the implication being those of us who struggle to put on weight aren’t. Apparently we’re neurotic, don’t like food, and men hate our ‘angles’. I can’t call someone fat but they can comment on my weight.

It’s best to not take it personally though isn’t it? Unhappy people will always turn their attention away from themselves.

catsarethefuture · 21/01/2026 19:06

Gluttony is a sin?🤔

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 19:06

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 18:58

That might have been true many years ago (before my time) but there's nothing rebellious about tattoos. It might be for some, but they are so mainstream, they are no more rebellious than pierced ears.

Body tattoo I mean, might be a bit different when you completely cover your face, but that's more rare.

I disagree. There are still plenty of jobs where they have to be covered up.

LowdermilkPark · 21/01/2026 19:04

Anyahyacinth · 21/01/2026 18:54

Do people feel the same way seeing a tall person whose knees will be in their back during a flight?

No, because the flight will be uncomfortable for the tall person who might have their knees under their chin. They won’t be encroaching onto their neighbours seat and touching them because of it.

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/01/2026 19:03

I mean, overweight and obese people make up over two thirds of British society, less than a third of the population is a normal / healthy weight, and of that third a decent proportion more will be at the “somewhat wobbly” end of the healthy BMI range rather than the “thin and toned” end. So the overwhelming majority of society is not slim. If “society hates fat people” then surely it’s up to that overwhelming majority to work out why that is and do something about their own viewpoint.

123123again · 21/01/2026 19:03

SweeetFannyAdams · 21/01/2026 18:47

Now I didn't say the MNetters in question simply didn't like them, did I?

I said they judged them as "cheap, chavvy, thick, nasty, common' etc."

Completely different to just not liking them, don't you think?

said they judged them as "cheap, chavvy, thick, nasty, common' etc.

It’s the intention behind tattoos as much as anything.

I’d be amazed if tattoo’d people didn’t judge each others even if just in their head. They date like anything else.

MeganM3 · 21/01/2026 19:03

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 18:54

Tall people have their feet and legs in the way and spoil our views, but we don't have the same disdain.

Height is basically out of someone’s power to control. In most cases weight can be.
There are other negatives that come with being very overweight vs being very tall.

SweeetFannyAdams · 21/01/2026 19:02

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 18:59

wow

so you are a tattoo hater? You know how many members of the royal family have tattoos? (that we know of, I am not perving on all their bikini photos😂)

There's nothing "cheap" about a tattoo

Both fat and thin people will always find something to be nasty to others about.

MeganM3 · 21/01/2026 19:00

SweeetFannyAdams · 21/01/2026 17:23

I think it might be something to do with nature, going right back to primal instincts when people lived in tribes.

A fat person would've probably eaten more than their fair share and not been able to hunt as well as more athletic people, thus not 'giving back' much to the rest of the tribe.

Just one of many theories.

Agree with this. It’s quite a visceral feeling.

BubblesandTiara · 21/01/2026 18:59

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 18:53

Not really, no. They don't like them because they think they are "cheap, etc."
That's part of the image that some people with tattoos WANT. It's really not the same as being overweight.

wow

so you are a tattoo hater? You know how many members of the royal family have tattoos? (that we know of, I am not perving on all their bikini photos😂)

There's nothing "cheap" about a tattoo