Why does society hate fat people

You mean those more overweight than you or the same?
If more overweight, I can sort of understand it as you trying to distance yourself from them.
If I feel bad about not doing housework I watch hoarding videos so I can feel better!

Hmm.
And those of us who like a few glasses of wine?
Or eat junk food?
We all have a vice, don't we?
(I also judge smokers, but for a different reason).

I definitely don’t feel like I hate fat people, just myself.
Pretty sure I didn’t hate them or judge them as stupid before I got fat either. I just wish I’d appreciated the body I used to have more while I had it.

Jesus

Well you are conflating two things here. You said that men in particular are generally nicer and pay you more attention, more polite etc, since you've been slim. But they probably aren't the same men who were hurling rude insults and openly mocking you for being fat previously.

People who are cruel and mocking are just bullies and usually pretty unintelligent and unappealing themselves. They will do it to anyone they perceive as lesser than them whether it's size, looks, disability or whatever. If you don't stand out in any way you will be left alone. If you have some obvious thing that marks you out as different or unattractive they will bully you for it, because they are bullies. If the bullies have stopped doing this to you, it's because you've stopped standing out and catching their attention as a target for some sport.

I don't think that's the same thing as men in general being nicer and paying you more attention because you are considered more attractive now. We are talking about different groups of men doing things for different reasons.

Weird thing is, when I was very overweight, I used to judge other overweight people. Explain that? I was delusional, and only lost weight when I woke up to myself.

Pretty much most people

As a fat man, it was the worse negative thing you could have about yourself on a dating site.

Fat men = lazy, unmotivated, unhappy, don't care about their appearance or health. All things you definitely don't want in a partner.

I have a partner now but I'm still 'obese'. I hate it, all the above things are true and I wish it wasn't so.

I judge fat people in the same way I judge smokers - you must be really stupid to do that to yourself. And I say that as someone who used to be fat. I definitely judged myself.

This is very true. The only person who is rude and unkind about my weight is me. It’s a cycle of internalised abuse and shame which makes me more depressed and eat more “because I’m fat, ugly and useless anyway”.

Doesn't look nice to who?

I don’t really believe this is true. There have always been different social classes where some people took more than their fair share. The wealthy had much more access to food than the poor, who were often malnourished and starving. I don’t think we have ever really lived in a fair society where people only take what they need or their “fair share.”

There is a fair amount of research showing that when people grew up with very little food, their bodies adapted to store energy whenever food was available, because starvation was a real threat. During pregnancy, that environment could “program” a child’s body to be more efficient at holding onto calories. This isn’t about personality or choice — it’s a biological survival response.

But once food becomes plentiful, that same survival adaptation can work against people. So higher weight in poorer populations is better explained by history, inequality, and biology responding to scarcity, not laziness or taking more than a fair share.

Why is that? Isn’t it obvious? Being fat is uncomfortable, unhealthy and doesn’t look nice. It’s very very simple

I agree entirely BUT I think your last point touches on something that is true, which is that the general disdain for fat people leads to a vicious cycle where some people will become overly self-deprecating and pointing out their weight/calling themselves disgusting so routinely that a) it leads to people finding that uncomfortable and unpleasant to be around and b) adds to the distorted perception.

This isn't blaming fat people for fatphobia, (I've been - very - fat people and I'm still overweight now, just less so) but I do think it's notable that sometimes people will self-protectively 'get in there first' with 'well, I'm big old disgusting lump so I could never wear that' and 'nobody will ever fancy me because I'm so fat' (both things a friend of mine said recently, but I've heard it from other people). And actually that level of self-hatred is deeply offputting to be around, whether it's about weight or anything else. I know someone who constantly points out his own baldness and (self-percieved!) ugliness and it's almost rude to put everyone around you into a position where they have to agree, ignore you, or console you otherwise. I know he is doing it as a protective measure but it actually just draws attention to things people otherwise might not have noticed or if they did, might have seen neutrally rather than directly as a negative.

Obviously the answer is that we shouldn't be treating people like shit for how they look so they don't feel the need to behave this way, but I DO think it contributes in a small way.

This is so well put. Better than my post but same feeling

Because we are taught from a young age that weight is about self discipline and self respect and linked to your character. So if you don’t care about yourself why should others care about you and treat you properly?

I’m not saying this is right but it explains why the same person can be treated very differently if they are a size 8 or size 18 even if their behavior stays the same. It’s a shame may adults can’t see beyond the external stuff and focus on the more important aspects like behavior.

Being slightly overweight was seen as desirable. Being obese in today’s terms definitely wasn’t!

Honestly theres loads of books with years of research that absolutely disagree with other books with loads of research.

Also if you just think about the various religions for a millisecond, you’d realise that it’s desirable to accept people with entirely different thinking to you…

I can't read every book. It being based on years of research doesn't mean it wasn't necessarily someone who found some research to twist into their own idea. There have been many, many such books.

Being fat was once a sign of opulence and wealth but now tends to be an indicator of poverty. Obviously not always but sometimes. I think people also link it to laziness and it also makes them feel superior if they’re slim because they can control themselves and you clearly can’t.

I’ve been 7 stone overweight before so I know what you mean. It is partially to do with your lack of confidence when fat though. For a while after losing the weight I still had a fat person mindset so I’d still walk into a room thinking people thought I was fat, when I was a tiny size 10. It took me a while to gain my confidence and I found people to be more friendly when I was also friendly and not awkward.

Sure, maybe read the book first which is based on years of research instead of dismissing the idea based on 1 sentence. Jesus wept

Its incredibly hard to actually starve yourself. It’s clearly a mental illness.

It’s very very easy to over eat calories. Absolutely anyone can ( and most do).

If this was true, why would they have invited you at 18 stone?

Totally agree.

I was about to say 'I have no skin in this game' because I'm slim - but that's really not true. I grew up in the 90s and I still have a 90s mindset where I feel better about myself when I'm slender.

That's not to say that I judge overweight or obese people - I don't, but I really do believe that weight and eating patterns are linked to psychology and societal expectations.

I'm pretty strict with myself in terms of what I eat and nutrition, although I do like to have relaxed periods sometimes and really enjoy that, but then I like to get back go normal (and feel rubbish if it takes me longer to get back to that, like in winter, where it's instinct to eat more). I like to run on the slimmer side - is that normal? Or is it because society has told me in my formative years that I look better and have more value as a thinner person?

In short, I think it's really complicated. I'd hate to be fat - why is that?

Haven’t read all posts yet. But I dropped from 25 st to 18 st ! All of a sudden I was seen! Even the’it’ crowd at the school gates started inviting me to their get togethers!!! Shallow people. I think that people feel that overweight people are the lowest of the low and also they are frightened of catching the fatness disease and being associated with stupid fat people.