Eccentric SIL

Sounds fucking brilliant, where do I sign? 👍

Are you on a wind up?

What part of getting a degree, having a high paying job, and home educating a child qualifies as sitting on her backside?

In what way will this highly qualified, high earning, intelligent woman be teaching her daughter that she doesn't have to work hard?

How exactly does a married couple making financial decisions as a family unit equate to a man paying for a woman?

You have an exceptionally simplistic view of the world.

You sound full of hatred for someone you don't know.

She's looking after her infant child ffs, she worked until becoming a mother. You're acting as though she'll never work again.

Would you be so vitriolic about at stay at home dad?

If she’s had a fairly high-flying career that required several degrees, she may well be living on savings. I did, when I took a career break.

Your tone seems unnecessarily hostile.

You sound judgy.
(What's elimination communication? Never heard of it 😕😁)

yep, sit back on her backside and let a man pay her way through life. Really worth studying for that.
Fine example to set to her daughter - you don't need to work hard. In fact why bother with school. You can just hook a man who is willing to pay for you and just yummy mummy about all day.

She has used it. She worked her arse off to get herself a job that paid her enough that she can now quit for a bit and pass on the benefit of her education to her child. Whether she goes back to it later or not, she's already played a blinder.

You use your education as you move through life, whatever you happen to be doing at any particular point in time. It's an odd point of view that education is only worthwhile or necessary if you are in work, all the time.

A mother's education benefits her family, and others in society who she may interact with in a non-work capacity. And, as already said, she may well return to full or part time work at some point in the future.

they may as well for all she is using it.

Jacked all what in?

Oh I forgot they take your degree off you if you have a child 🙄

Don't talk shit.

women can make choices. And they can change their minds.

We spent years and years fighting for that.

In the kindest way, mind your own beeswax and get your kids off their screens. Mine didn’t sleepover anywhere until they were 10. Our family events were that, with kids included. I am not a dippy hippy.

yes, who has put all that effort in only to jack it all in.

Homeschooling isn’t for me but done properly I would hardly say it’s sitting on her backside at home.

Also failing to see how getting her qualification, gaining a job that was high paying (presumably to something she could return to if she wishes) is wasting everyone’s time. Also very much doubt her tutors give two hoots, they get paid either way!

You sound desperate to paint her as something she clearly isn’t. This woman is clearly an educated, competent individual who’s made choices based on what she believes to be best for her child.

Not how I would choose to raise a child but I applaud their stamina and its sounds like informed choices by BIL & SIL. Given you describe DN as lovely, then I think, you need to accept BILs and SILs right to choose a route different to that you have chosen and to support them as you can.

But it is also fine to feel disappointed that DN won't be able to come for sleep overs so her family can get to know her better and you can tactfully say that at the right time. Hopefully that may plant a seed that at some point maybe open for reconsideration but you need to meet them halfway on this and be prepared to provide vegan food and otherwise support their life choices.

A close friend sounds much like your SIL and she too was what I would call alternative lifestyle in her approach (also vegan) and when the kids were young they ate the same as Mum and Dad but as they got older they were allowed to explore food and what they wanted for themselves. Both boys are flexitarians and to be honest are very open to trying new things and I mean that positively in many aspects of their life. They don't just follow the crowd. They do have an alternative way of seeing things and its quite refreshing and makes them fun to have in a group.

So interesting because elimination communication is pretty standard in the east for babies.

they just by do it about 10/15 mins after food. And eventually the potty becomes the toilet signal. And small babies can almost go on cue

Well that was a waste of her time and everyone else's then wasn't it. All that effort (both hers and her tutors') that she is chucking down the toilet to sit on her backside at home.

Veganism is fairly mainstream though. Widely available in restaurants and shops. It's really not all that unusual. EC is practiced world-wide, just not so much in the West.
3 is young for sleepovers not sure why that's unusual either.
Ditto the babysitting (and the baby wearing - in many circumstances, it is easier than a pram/buggy)
Home education is on the rise, too.
Isn't it good that not all of her friendship group share the same beliefs? It shows she isn't narrow minded, at least.

Which bit of DSIL'S ideas are setting up her dd for failure or limiting her life experiences?

Also she may be able to return to her career afterwards, plenty of women do.

you are hoiking your judgy pants up so high you will get thrush.
Butt out and leave her alone

Seriously! You must be very touchy indeed about your choices in life if you feel judged when someone does something a little different.

I have a SIL/BIL who home schooled their child. Of course they aren't judging my decision to send my kids to school. They are making a decision for their own child. Ditto I don't judge them - why would I?

You come across as very insecure about your own parenting choices. If sil was of a similar attitude, how do you think she might critique in return..?

She sounds lovely, I think you may have lost the plot a bit

She is just different to you. It sounds like they aren’t keen on spending expended amounts if time with you guys. They probably know you’re judgemental

She doesn't actually sound eccentric to me. You should come to a yummy mummy area - full of vegans who like yoga!

She does sound like she has different priorities and a different approach to life in general to you. That doesn't mean she's doing anything wrong.