Eccentric SIL

You sound mean and judgemental - posting online about how a woman chooses to carry her own baby?

Well DN won't be bullied by other children as she won't see any! She is being smothered by her ridiculous earth mother. Who I bet doesn't believe in a hard day's work.

I think it’s quite normal for a parent to not want their 3 year old to go on sleepovers and to raise their child with the same diet that they follow. Homeschooling is becoming more popular now and there are many groups so kids can still socialise etc. Most bullying occurs in schools so if she’s not going then it’s unlikely. Though at 3 they may still change their minds and might just be struggling with the idea which I think a lot of parents experience when first sending their child to nursery/school.

She sounds completely normal.

I live in a 'hippy' town in the Uk and know loads of vegan kids, I tend to assume children are veggie/vegan unless I know otherwise it's so common.

Are you from the 1950s ?!

Home education, also - not for me but absolutely normal in that it's chosen by a certain number of people

One of my kids has never had a sleepover because they don't like them - again, totally normal.

Rather than "eccentric", the word I would use is "superstitious".

And it does seem as though she wants to shield her child from too much contact with reality, which is a shame.

But children raised by heavily religious or "spiritual" parents often manage to break free eventually, and discover the world through their own eyes and experiences.

You’ve referred to your ‘boisterous’ older children. There may be a reason she kept her baby in the sling.

Again, who cares if she wanted to hold DN in this way. It's just a different choice. You seem really disturbed by any choice that isn't your kind of norm.

It's not unusual for people to not want to take part in activities that involve animals kept in captivity outside of their natural environments. I presume she didn't feel like she knew enough about the ethics of the zoo to allow her child to take part in the gawping.

If she's vegan, she may also find the idea of a zoo to be problematic. I would also not go to a zoo unless I was certain of animal welfare standards and ethics. Your DN is not going to be missing out on vital life experiences by not going on a trip to the zoo, for goodness sake. Your DN will be having different life experiences, that's all.

She is different than you and choosing a different way to parent her child. That's OK. It isn't a reflection on you. You can be a good mum doing it your way and she can be a good mum doing it her way. There isn't one universal way to bring up happy, well adjusted children.

It's OK that you think she is little bit 'odd', you are allowed to think that. Maybe just ask yourself if 'odd' is actually a bad thing? Sometimes we are wary of things that are unfamiliar to us but that wariness isn't actually warranted, it's just us imposing our beliefs on other people.

Bloody Hell. And you think you're not being judgemental? So what if 'even' your DH thinks it's odd!

Mind your own business.

She doesn't sound eccentric, just confident in who she is. Why does it bother you so much? Not really any of your business imo.

What on earth does “stoically baby wore” even mean? It’s just a different choice. She wanted to transport her baby in a sling, instead of a pram. Who cares!!

Agree - sounds like you don’t like your SIL - maybe subconsciously she is making you question your own parenting choices that are now past that stage?

Are you able to reflect honestly on that? You don’t have to share it here.

Your SIL seems to be very well informed on optimal nutrition, environment, attachment parenting, health and exercise options and has made value choices for her personal lifestyle.

Maybe stop trying to find an angle from which she’s doing something wrong, whether that’s baby wearing or taking time out from her career to homeschool?

Maybe she thinks your life decisions are piss poor? Maybe she thinks your ‘boisterous’ older children are badly behaved, hence the baby wearing and deciding to home school? But she’s not on the internet trying to get a bunch of strangers to agree you’re a weirdo.

Very few 3 year olds have sleepovers.

there’s a lot more vegans around than there used to be.

you say the child goes to a lot of groups and doesn’t appear to be behind.

not seeing the issue at all.

I really am not being judgemental.

Seriously OP, if you cannot see that you're being judgemental then I think you need to see someone.

Maybe Sil is also concerned about the knock on effects of you allowing screen time to your children and feeding them meat?

100% this. The only nasty one is you @ProbablybeingU

what’s it to you? To bitch about your SIL because you’ve nothing better to do? Shame on you.

You don’t like your SIL.

Are you jealous that she’s being different?

Why are you obsessed with having her three year old for a sleepover? Three year olds don’t want to be taken away from their DM and their home at that age.

Maybe they just don’t like how judgemental you are so don’t want to socialise with you? Rather than not wanting to leave her, they perhaps just don’t want to socialise with you all?

You think the way she approaches things are wrong, but she probably thinks the same about you!

Focus on your own family and let your SIL focus on hers.

FWIW I don’t know anybody who does sleepovers these days. It’s a very 1980s thing!

I have many family friends who were home schooled until college. Went onto university and now work in corporate or other professional and creative jobs. All are doing swimmingly, extremely social with well balanced friend groups. They’re even vegan too!

it seems like SIL takes her role as a parent seriously so will approach home educating in the same way.