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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have opted for conservative treatment not surgery?

64 replies

growingsidewaysnotup · 21/01/2026 13:22

I’m just looking for some opinions here as between this, a potential new job, and day to day life, my head is a scrambled mess.

I have recently been diagnosed with a painful but not critical knee injury. This injury is very hard to treat via physio, it has a poor outcome.

I really do not want surgery. I don’t particularly have the time for it this year, nor do I have the energy for the (intense) rehab after.

The physio said she understands this, in my shoes she’d be hearing for surgery but she can see why I’d want to opt for conservative treatment.

My partner, family and colleagues all think I’m being silly. They think that given the long term impact on my life and the pain I’m in, I should have opted for surgery. I do have to admit that after a couple of weeks of physio and being back to normal exercise levels, it does seem to be getting worse and not better.

Am I being silly? Should I just bite the bullet and get my name on the list? As this is a soft tissue injury the waiting list for surgery isn’t actually that long at my hospital (the consultants take on extra lists to do these - confirmed by a family member who works in the team), so id be looking at a 12-16 week wait.

I just need some clarity because my life is incredibly hectic at the moment and I can’t see the wood from the trees.

OP posts:
Lougle · 21/01/2026 13:44

The way I see it, you can have 12-16 weeks of struggle, then surgery, then rehab, or 1-2 years (however long you put it off for) of struggle, then surgery, then rehab.

BadgernTheGarden · 21/01/2026 13:43

growingsidewaysnotup · 21/01/2026 13:30

apparently I’d be likely to be seen in April for the surgery.

I’m just really, really reluctant because I have a huge trip planned in August. I’m not just worried about recovery, but insurance, and everything like that. Also, being stuck in a foreign country in pain and unable to get any help sounds horrendous. I’m due to do 25,000 steps a day

Isn't that holiday going to impossible with the injury you have? If you have the surgery you may be fit enough to go in August if you don't you will probably never be fit enough. If it gets worse while you are there you will be in exactly the position you don't want to be in, and you have to declare pre-existing conditions for insurance anyway.

You could book the surgery, there may be a cancellation to get it done earlier and if it really looks impossible closer to the date cancel, someone will be delighted to get a cancellation, not too close to the date to waste the slot though.

Lightuptheroom · 21/01/2026 13:42

I spent 3 years on crutches waiting for knee surgery, I had 'plica' catching in the joint and the pain was horrendous. The delay made things much worse and I ended up with the fat pad also being removed. I had a 2 year old, a divorce, a new job goodness knows what going on and it still made a lot of difference.

TeaRoseTallulah · 21/01/2026 13:41

Unless it's private you could be waiting a year or so for the surgery.

Myoldbear · 21/01/2026 13:41

growingsidewaysnotup · 21/01/2026 13:36

From how I understand it I can opt to go on at any time, and I have a follow up in about 3 months

If it were me I would opt to go on the list now, as that will also bring forward any discussions with medical professionals that you would have before the operation; these would further help you to decide.

FurForksSake · 21/01/2026 13:37

As has been said, get to see the consultant, get the actual timings and see from there. 25k steps on a dodgy knee that needs surgery sounds like it’s going to be very challenging.

sickleaveornot · 21/01/2026 13:37

growingsidewaysnotup · 21/01/2026 13:30

apparently I’d be likely to be seen in April for the surgery.

I’m just really, really reluctant because I have a huge trip planned in August. I’m not just worried about recovery, but insurance, and everything like that. Also, being stuck in a foreign country in pain and unable to get any help sounds horrendous. I’m due to do 25,000 steps a day

But if things are getting worse anyway - would you actually be able to keep up with that due to the pain your feeling without the surgery?

growingsidewaysnotup · 21/01/2026 13:36

Myoldbear · 21/01/2026 13:35

Put your name on the waiting list for surgery.It doesn't mean you're then committed to that, and you can remove your name if or when you want.

This way you keep all options open and time to think.

From how I understand it I can opt to go on at any time, and I have a follow up in about 3 months

OP posts:
Myoldbear · 21/01/2026 13:35

Put your name on the waiting list for surgery.It doesn't mean you're then committed to that, and you can remove your name if or when you want.

This way you keep all options open and time to think.

ScaryM0nster · 21/01/2026 13:32

Getting your name on the list, and actually having the surgery are two surprisingly separate decisions.

Often with waiting lists you can give them dates that you’re not available. You get a warning that that will delay the surgery.

You’d usually get an appointment to discuss the options prior to actually being booked for surgery.

So there’s a slow moving but still gradually heading that direction option - rather than next 12 weeks or never.

growingsidewaysnotup · 21/01/2026 13:30

Hotel785634 · 21/01/2026 13:27

It’s your body, your choice but personally I’d go for the surgery. Long term it should save you time as the pain you’re in and the constant physio will end up sapping more of your time and energy than an intense period of surgery and recuperation, I’d have thought.

I might be biased in that I had surgery recently (not orthopaedic) and I was really anxious about it having had a horrible experience with a minor op many years ago. But anaesthetics and care have come in so much since then that it was far less bad an experience than I thought it would be and the long term effects have been more than worth it. But that was a very different surgery and I’m a different person so take it for what it’s worth.

apparently I’d be likely to be seen in April for the surgery.

I’m just really, really reluctant because I have a huge trip planned in August. I’m not just worried about recovery, but insurance, and everything like that. Also, being stuck in a foreign country in pain and unable to get any help sounds horrendous. I’m due to do 25,000 steps a day

OP posts:
growingsidewaysnotup · 21/01/2026 13:27

TeaRoseTallulah · 21/01/2026 13:25

There will never be a good time for surgery,get your name on the list.

I do appreciate that but between things I have planned (deposits etc paid so they can’t be cancelled) and a potential new job, this year just isn’t the right time at all.

OP posts:
Hotel785634 · 21/01/2026 13:27

It’s your body, your choice but personally I’d go for the surgery. Long term it should save you time as the pain you’re in and the constant physio will end up sapping more of your time and energy than an intense period of surgery and recuperation, I’d have thought.

I might be biased in that I had surgery recently (not orthopaedic) and I was really anxious about it having had a horrible experience with a minor op many years ago. But anaesthetics and care have come in so much since then that it was far less bad an experience than I thought it would be and the long term effects have been more than worth it. But that was a very different surgery and I’m a different person so take it for what it’s worth.

TeaRoseTallulah · 21/01/2026 13:25

There will never be a good time for surgery,get your name on the list.