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AIBU?

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Original poster

To give up leading this community project

55 replies

mummymeister · 21/01/2026 11:34

Long time Member and will try to keep this brief although its tricky not to out myself but here goes.

I live in a rural community and volunteer for an organisation which was very active with projects in the past but now as most of the board are over 75 they havent really got a clue or any energy to help and support (I am much younger)

I took on running a project which apparently had massive community support. I have spent the past 5 years getting planning permission, talking to all the local groups and organisations and generally just trying to bring everyone with me on the journey to make this a reality.

Its been an uphill struggle but what has kept me going is the thought that its principally aimed at young people, its something I have been told constantly everyone really wants and needs and that this is a community that wants to achieve something having failed on a number of other dissimilar projects in the past.

So we have launched the fundraising campaign (need to raise around 250K) and to say that the results have been disappointing is an absolute understatement.

  • 100 people invited to the launch and only a handful bothered to email a response a few turned up on the night but not even all of my committee bothered
  • Local community facebook group full of negativity every time I post about the project "it wont happen" "nothing every happens here" " why cant the council/Government pay for it" and on and on and on.
I have done this sort of thing before so I have written the letters, made the phone calls, knocked on the doors, had coffee with etc. Basically full time on this for the past 3 months filling in grant applications for piddling amounts of a couple of hundred quid, taking me hours and hours to do.

And I just keep being met with wall, after wall after wall. "kids in our area are underachievers and not worth spending the money on" "why cant someone else pay for it why do we have to fundraise" "dont like it, think it looks rubbish so wont support it" I could write a book.

The stress all of this is causing me is unreal. I am becoming so depressed. The worst of it is that I know if I fail the local gossip will be "oh look there is Mummymeister. she promised to deliver and failed, just like I said she would." in a small community, this is going to define me.

I just feel I cant stay here if this project fails. I have asked for help from my committee but they just arent up to it. I have tried getting a group together but again its just apathy and sometimes even aggression that I cant just magic the money out of thin air.

AIBU to just give it a couple of months more effort and if it looks like its not going to happen to just say fuck it and walk away? What would you do in my shoes?

OP posts:
Original poster
mummymeister · 21/01/2026 11:54

@Redbushteaforme we arent trying to raise the whole amount from the community but in order to apply for the bigger grants from things like the National Lottery and other organisations we need first to show community support and buy in. so I was hoping to get maybe 80/100 people, businesses, groups show their support with a letter and maybe some money or an event. Then I can go to the big funds with a show of strength.

OP posts:
Newyearsameme26 · 21/01/2026 11:53

We have similar in our community but probably need to raise double. I don't expect the woman who's leading it to achieve that, i just think well done to her for identifying the issue and for pushing the project in the right direction- now its up to everyone else to raise the money. Surely nobody expects you alone to raise the cash. To me you have identified the requirements and set it in motion. That is an achievement in itself and you should frame it as such.

Redbushteaforme · 21/01/2026 11:51

That sounds hard. I know myself how hard it is to get people involved in voluntary projects.

I woukd ignore the Facebook comments as the demographic of FB is older and I.think a lot of the comments will be coming from people who are always negative and who are very unlikely to do anything actively to support something.

My main question would be, however: is this project actually wanted/needed? If yes, are there other ways to make it happen? If not, maybe it is time to call it a day? Especially as if you can't get support to set the project up, the probability is that you won't have people willing to be involved once it is up and running.

Lastly, I don't know what is typical/achievable for your area, but where I live trying to raise £250,000 from local sources (ie not charities/trusts etc) would be a huge challenge for a community project. Is this part of the problem?

Well done for taking this on. It is no shame to give up if something just isn't going to work but perhaps you need to assess if are you at that stage yet or if there are still things you could try.

Original poster
mummymeister · 21/01/2026 11:45

Duveet · 21/01/2026 11:40

Absolutely.
Cite health issues for stepping back.
Life is too short.
You tried.

Thank you. I do feel like this. what is holding me back is that I will lose massive face in a small community where reputations do matter. I know of people who deliberately built without planning permission 15 years ago and its still cited today whenever anyone talks about them. I just cannot stand the thought of being "that woman who failed" in my community for ever, I really cant. It all just feels so hopeless. I am early retired but up every morning working on this. Just feels so relentless and pointless at the moment.

OP posts:
Duveet · 21/01/2026 11:40

Absolutely.
Cite health issues for stepping back.
Life is too short.
You tried.

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