To ask if your teen DC vape?

in the nicest possible way, and meaning no disrespect - your teen sounds judgmental and frankly a little mean!

I totally agree. I hate it but I made the decision it’s not a hill I’m going to die on. They’re going to do it regardless of what I say. My rules are never in the house and never let me see it but I know they do it.

I will die on the drugs hill and they know that and on the respecting partners hill. I just don’t feel like (failing to) influence them against vaping is a good use of my time and relationship when I would prefer to focus on bigger things should they arise

should add my youngest is in year 11. Up until last year I would have punished

Would love to see how you enforce these things with a 16 year old? What does that look like? Shouting? Grounding? Proper 90s shouty parenting? It doesn’t work by the way.

Not now. She was bringing up huge blood clots from her mouth. Had loads of investigations, couldn’t figure out what was going on until they investigated her lungs and found they were literally burnt inside. The blood was from her lungs. I hit the roof when I found out, couldn’t believe she was damaging herself like that. She was 15 at the time and when they sat her down and explained what severe damage it was doing to her lungs, she stopped thankfully. The are so, so dangerous.

Mine (nearly 17) doesn’t and I am 100% on that the idea makes her anxious and stressed.

She is far more sensible than me though because I can guarantee 16 year old me would have tried it

there is a balance between complete acceptance and scorched earth (which trust me @Hufflemuff isn’t going to do your relationship with your daughter in 3-4 years time any favours at all

DS at 13 hasn’t but it wouldn’t surprise me if he tried it later, he knows I don’t approve and that it won’t happen in my house etc

we should be angry though at the concept of vaping - I mean it is suppose to be for those who smoked because it is a better alternative instead they have made the equilvalent of alcopops that of course teenagers are going to want to try

To the ‘mine would never’ crowd - I wouldn’t be so sure. Honestly as everyone has said - kids are excellent at hiding it.

I have caught both of mine. One is a professional athlete. I was so so upset. Not sure they have done it since.

the other one is 18 and is at college, earning well in a pt job, travelling independently etc and yep. Yapes.

I don’t like it but I know I would have done it at their age. I hope the 18yo grows out of it but I did much, much worse (drugs & alcohol) and got away with it. I’m a teetotal professional now. I came from a nice middle class background. It’s just the way the world is 🤷🏻‍♀️

I console myself that nobody is pregnant/doing anything criminal. We have a calm happy house and they’re being raised to function in the adult world.

How was she getting a hold of vapes at 14?

I've got an 11 year old, year 7... theres girls doing it in their year.

I think you've contradicted yourself a bit here @Hufflemuff 😁

When I see school age vapers, in their school uniform, girls with rolled up skirts, hiding in the train station, where I live they do actually look like losers.

My DGD, told me all about the vapers in year 7. One boy got excluded for selling them, two girls just barely missed the same fate for buying them. The school came down really hard. DGD now in year 10. No more talk of vapes. Thankfully.

I am with you @Hufflemuff!

The age number (16) is irrelevant except in the eyes of the law…what it should come down to is emotional maturity. Yes, a 16yo can get married, etc, etc, it doesn’t mean they should.

I put a post on here a while ago about my 16 year old vaping and how angry I was but I just got told I should chill out and it could be worse!

Anyway vaping drives me mental, I hate it and honestly thought my son had more sense but apparently he doesn’t and “everyone does it”. I caught him with a vape last year when he was 16, so I grounded him for the weekend and threw it in the bin (that’s when MN told me I was over reacting)! I thought he had stopped but a few weeks ago I borrowed his jacket to pop to the shop and found a vape in the pocket so I put it in the bin. I’ve chatted with him and said I clearly can’t stop him but I think he is an idiot and every time I find one I’m going to throw it away. He is 17 now and I’m fuming every time I think about it.

She can work, travel, get married have a child. 16 isn't 6.

Shes been with her boyfriend for 3 years i would call that a long term relationship

My youngest tried it (and admitted it) when she was 15 and found it vile, I can’t imagine she will go back to it. My eldest started at 17, she earns her own money and is very independent so stopping her wasn’t an option , I did speak to her in depth about it though. She gave up after about 6 months because she could feel a difference when doing cardio, I don’t think she will go back to it either

He (DS16)did. For about a month…told him I knew but that my awareness wasn’t my approval, and absolutely not in the house. Like most things I felt I wanted to blow up at, I let him get on with it…and within a few weeks the attraction of it wore off him. Same with alcohol (his first and only hangover helped with that one).

Long term relationship? How do you even type that with a straight face. She is a child, it’s a joke you think she’s in an actual relationship. Some people are so quick to grow their kids up.

No. My teen thinks vaping is cringe and most of his friends laugh at vapers for being absolute losers. He didn't even know there were serious health risks, he just thinks it's weird and pathetic looking.

lol. Good luck with that.

No, thinks it’s stupid, but a lot of kids in their year (11) do. There are a group of kids who meet in the same area to vape, aged 11 upwards

To some extent I can recognise what you’re saying but, erm, she’s 16. Long term relationship? Again, she’s 16. She cannot vote, she cannot drive, she legally can not buy vapes/alcohol etc., I’m assuming she doesn’t pay the bills, she can’t do what she wants and is considered a child still.

No luckily he’s always been into sports and fitness, and wouldn’t do anything that might compromise that. Most boys in his year group were addicted to vapes from about age 14, and some of the girls too, then quite a few of them added in chewing snuz as well 😕

My parents did that over me smoking. I just got better at hiding it, it didn’t stop me
I have quit smoking now but vape instead. My dad is much happier!

Also the pp threatening “scorched earth” over vapes! Just don’t. It’s not the hill to die on in the grand scheme of teen issues.

We were advised by older wiser parents of teens not to go nuclear. How right they were. Relationship with dd preserved so when the really bad thing happened she was able to come to us and we faced it together. Destroying trust over sodding vapes would
have been a huge mistake.

My DS is Yr13, part of the science crowd, none of his friends or him vape. BBC 3 Jordan North documentary on vaping was quite good at putting them off. The chemicals and toxic stuff in there put mine off the thought of trying it.

She has a job, shes in a long term relationship, cooks her own meals, does her own washing shes a bit past the stage of punishments

Hmm about those adamant no - are you quite sure about that?! It’s pretty endemic.

Dd2 did we found them at 15. We didnt get angry but did a big we are disappointed / health / if it carried on we will restrict freedom etc. She gave up (verified by reliable spies) but said it was difficult as all her group did. She and her best friend are the anomaly as the ones that don’t vape. Mixed state / private party set.