To think we should put a stop to terms like 'toxic', 'narcissistic', 'gaslighting'...

The current most annoying word is empath.

"If that's the case that would make you one of those who accuse others of being the first three too. Ie, one of the guilty ones."

I don't accuse people of it on social media.

Bit 1984

If that's the case that would make you one of those who accuse others of being the first three too. Ie, one of the guilty ones.

I agree about "narcissistic". Most people are not qualified to diagnose people as such and have little understanding of what it really means.

If people are using these words in the wrong context then they are just stupid (lacking brain) you can't do anything about stupid people im afraid, they are everywhere.

These words shouldn't be used inappropriately but in general, if someone in your life is a toxic narcissistic gaslighting bully, or a sociopath with no respect for boundaries, then it is totally ok to say so. Mental health increases when we can name and reject the unacceptable behaviours of those around us and can have self-respect.

I agree with you about psychopathy - that should be diagnosed by professionals, but sociopathy is widespread and underdiagnosed as many sociopaths are fully functional in the world (just making those around them miserable in ways that are perfectly legal) and have no reason or obligation to seek a diagnosis.

I am deeply suspicious that you want to suppress these terms though. It makes me wonder which ones are being applied to you? Is it that your blessed and lovely life is free from such people and you have some kind of empathy deficit for thise who are less blessed?

I find on social media that many of those accusing others of being the first three are guilty of it themselves.

It is simply not true that there is no diagnosis for these conditions outside prison! My friend would be out of a job if people like this weren’t asking for and receiving treatment.

😂

I don’t think the is article makes the point you are hoping. When the author says ‘It explains that narcissism has a common foundation, which includes things such as self-importance and entitlement.’. I mean that could be half the teenagers in the world right now.

It depends on the situation and topic but often telling someone ‘straight’ is beneficial for example but for those who don’t like it see it as a trait of something psychological.

Dont use these if you don’t like or relate to them

policing others use of language is not the way to go

You're not in a position to diagnose people on mumsnet as narcissistic.

There is so much research to show we misuse the word narcissist.
https://theconversation.com/what-weve-learned-about-narcissism-over-the-past-30-years-258505
This research shows how common it is amongst women and typical behaviour is crying a lot, taking offence and making an issue all about them, which describes lots of posters on MN.
These terms will die a death but they are flung about on here as abuse. In fact they are examples of posters indulging in narcissistic behaviour. So many posters are self righteous and honestly think they are the ones in the right for accusing everyone else of being mean whereas they are the ones being aggressive and abusive. So many narcissistic posters on here.

I can assure you that ‘toxic’ and ‘gaslighting’ are not DSN terms. And the kind of people who throw around ‘narcissistic’ and ‘sociopath’ are the type who just mean ‘someone I don’t like’, but think it sounds more serious. I don’t think it is having any diagnostic repercussions.

Yanbu - long story but when my relationship ended a specialist police officer told me i was gaslighted. I didnt believe it until i went on a course about healthy relationships and understood it better. In and out of it, it was REALLY hard to spot and even now i sometimes question my own memory/sanity about it. So it amazes me how many people call gaslighting after one post, or people claim their partner is gaslighting them - it really isnt that easy to spot. Some people are mean, spiteful, vindictive, manipulative - its ok to say that but imo its not ok to label everyone as gaslighters as it weakens the term for those of us who has genuinely experienced it and are still struggling to wrap our heads around it.

I completely agree. I am so over people using hyperbole to make their point seem bigger or worse.

I would tack on to your post the casual use of serious conditions people use to describe themselves without any diagnosis: like PTSD or a migraine when it’s a headache, or OCD because they like things neat.

It’s the same as someone who is a bit selfish is narcissistic.

And agree with overuse of the word triggered which in my opinion is the ‘reminder’ of a serious issue and shouldn’t be for casual use.

But the OP doesn’t want to get rid of the words, she wants to get rid of the misuse and overuse of the words which actually changes the meaning and is just as detrimental to those who have suffered.

I read lots of posts where the OP says she’s being gaslit but turns out her partner is lying to her. It’s very different. Likewise, 99% of the people who post about their narcissistic partner/mum/mil actually describe a selfish person, but selfish isn’t a dramatic enough word for them. Using language in this way diminishes it.

They diagnosed you as being normal?

I disagree. Language evolves as people's lives change. It's sometimes useful to have labels for phenomena which weren't labelled in the past: it gives people more power when they are able to specifically identify something as opposed to having a vague feeling that something is wrong. It's healthy to be able to identify emotions or situations rather than just be forced to brush them under the carpet.

"Gaslighting" is a prime example of this. For millennia women in particular have endured this in their marriages without being able to articulate what is happening. Their ability to do so puts them in a much stronger position to identify and challenge it than in the past where they were made to feel weak or hysterical.

I agree that these words and terms are overused, for sure. But that doesn't mean they have no utility at all.

Overused I agree, though they have a place on a few occasions. Alongside 'big' and 'literally'.

I’m assuming you’ve been called/accused of one of these things? And you didn’t like it/don’t agree.

Toxic isn't new. I remember reading a book about toxic parents in the 80s. Some people are toxic.

On Mumsnet the ex is always a narc. Just as men always describe their ex as crazy, for women the go-to word is narc. Obviously he gaslit them too. Every time. The words have become meaningless.

But often that is a judgement made by someone else

people can’t always explain in words what is happening to them or do not want to explain as it’s painful or just do not feel they need to

there is always the argument that terms and words are being devalued but as I said language and use of language evolves. What is more important is people are able to use language to describe a feeling or a situation that they are struggling with or use language to help them understand what they are dealing with gaslighting is a very good example of this and so is the term boundaries it’s covers so many different potential situations