How does my ex know everything I do?!

Firstly go to the police

and secondly it’s unlikely he’s physically spying on your or hired someone- he’s just probably still got access to all your accounts. He likely has access to your emails.

HE WILL BE READING THIS

This is stalking, which is a crime.

I would ring the police. And then take advice on how to remove any access he has to your devices.

He definitely has access to something.

Do you have FB, Instagram etc? You can see any logins in your account settings and log them all out before changing passwords etc.

That said, I would also go for a scorched earth policy and replace all devices and create new accounts for everything. Don’t use existing accounts for 2FA. And yes, I would ask the police for advice and possibly report him for the car tracker. Suzy Lamplugh Trust may also be able to advise.

it sounds like part of it could be the google drive, he'd have access to any pictures you take and screenshots. he might have more of your log ins for social media. I'd speak to police and see if there is a team who can check your phone. I'd also make a report to them so they are aware. really hope you get this sorted, sounds really frightening x

Please report your concerns to the police. This sort of behaviour is stalking and stalking is recognised as a crime. They probably won’t do anything about it but I think it’s important to try.

Are you logged into anything on your DS’s device that he takes there with him?

So I’d start by telling the police because the guy is clearly stalking you and for some reason you’re not taking this seriously… It’s not just an ex being a bit weird, he’s hacked into some account to track what you’re doing OR worse he’s hired a PI.

Get a new phone, log out of every single account you’re aware of and change passwords. Check your car again for trackers. Also keep a close eye on your social media - who is following you on there, could anyone be feeding him info?

There's an initialisation for that: FOAF! And yes, the urban myths are so often underpinned by it.

You need to go straight to the police and tell them everything. Ultimately you should be able to get a restraining order placed on him, which if he breaks he could go to jail.

I work in cyber security you absolutely cannot do that with smart speakers!

And why is it always a friend of a friend

Just wanted to offer my heartfelt sympathy. This happened to me in the late 90s/early 2000s when he wanted full custody of our then-young child. He knew EVERYTHING I did, and he was the type of person to say the sky was black when it was blue, and everyone would believe him. Even my solicitor said that. So each time he found something I'd posted, I was made out to be "that crazy lady" when all I was doing was seeking support. It was a HORRIBLE time. He totally ruined my 20s.

Back then, technology was nowhere near what it is now. But he would find me on advice forums, Yahoo Answers (if anyone remembers that) and he even got hold of my new phone number which I'd changed to escape his shit. As for the forums, I have NO idea how he found me (in court his lawyer presented hundreds of pages my ex had printed from those forums! To say I was dumbstruck wasn't the word). I changed all details - gender, dates, more than enough for him not to know it was me. Also, one forum was extremely hidden, almost a secret society - I only found it through recommendation. How did he even find that?? And then, the one person on there who I Ieaned on for support (we would have phone calls) my ex somehow got into HIS head and he stopped talking to me!

To this day I have absolutely no idea how he did any of it.

And you also need multi factor authentication set up on your new device and email.

Please check out Refuge's tech safety information and contact the national domestic abuse helpline if needed. refugetechsafety.org/

Most of us would be speechless to know how perpetrators can and will access your information. Just changing devices and/or passwords may not if you do in isolation. Complete your own assessment using the guidance, ideally accessing through someone else's device.

Present your concerns to the local police station and ask them to have a word in his ear to stop before this turns out badly for him. If he’s got anything to lose, he should think. It’s obvious he’s had access through various digital gateways and you must get ahead and close them down systematically.

If he still had access to your Google account then there’s a few things:

• he can set up another device and simply log in
• if you use Google password manager then he can see all your passwords to everything even when you change them

What an absolute nightmare for you. If you can afford it sell your laptop and buy another one. Change your phone. Change all passwords to really strong ones he'd never guess. Change kids laptop/phone/pass words. No idea how to check for hidden camera in your home or kids toy but so done might know. I'd report to police it's harassment.

Could there be a camera in your house?

I agree with this. A different physical device to and phone number and email address is needed.

Telling the police also means that if someone else has an accusation of a crime against him, the police will also see that you have made an accusation against him and who knows there may be many victims where they can’t act on any one person’s information but several people reporting issues might mean they can take further action.

Sounds like my ex. I changed my email, phone etc

And id maybe get MN to edit your post, its fairly obvious the couples dating app is a swingers website....which he can easily set up a couples profile for, you dont need shit like that being brought up in court!!!

I would completely change your phone and not have any accounts linked to it . Maybe get an apple phone and get a new iCloud altogether . It’s actually scary what hackers etc can do to gain access to
your life and it can really affect your mental health . Maybe get your new car checked for devices too . Make your life smaller for a while and grey rock him and everyone around you to cut off whatever access he has to you .

I think you need to change your physical phone, change your number and delete your Google account completely. Then set up a new account with new email. If you can afford a new laptop I'd do the same - or maybe as a first step you could take it to a computer shop and see if they can do anything for you.

If you get outlook you can get an authentication app that you have to press "yes its me" anytime you log in somewhere new on a set device. I think it can also be set to be triggered once a week or even every-time you logged in. That would stop him having control of anything.

I'd contact police in any instance and file a report. They cannot do anything but it would be good to have an official record of it incase of escalation with you OR hes also doing this to others.

Are your passwords easy to guess /have you changed them since split ?

do you trust friends